[From "BOOM: The Sudan is Closing in on Establishing Democracy!"]
Oh, great news.
I was just sitting here really worried about the fact that Sudan isn’t a democracy, and wondering when they would become one.
I hope they institute full democracy.
These poor people deserve anal sex and tattoos, and the fact that their fascist leaders are trying to deprive them of these joys is truly a travesty.
All people on earth deserve anal sex and tattoos.
Year ago, humanity was backwards and stupid, and believed in God. Now we’ve realized that God is a very silly concept, and that the patriarchy is pure evil.
What we realized is that there is a universally perfect system for organizing society: democracy.
It provides all people in a country with access to anal sex and tattoos.
People opposed to this system are dangerous and evil, and must be crushed like insects if the world is ever truly going to be free.
It is important for us to get together and attack anyone, anywhere who opposes this system, even if it is in some random black country no one ever even thinks about.
Because they deserve anal sex as well, friends.
And it’s our job to give it to them.
Anyone not having anal sex is a threat to your right to get fucked in the ass and get tattoos without government intervention.