[Just a small sample from this extremely lulzy proof of god's existence.]
Looking back again to Noah's Ark, God told Noah to make the Ark 300 cubits long and 50 cubits wide. Using Ezekiel's formula to convert cubits to inches, we find 300 cubits times 24 inches per cubit is 7200 inches in length. 50 cubits times 24 inches per cubit equals 1200 cubits in width. To find the area, we multiply the length times the width. 7200 inches in length times 1200 inches in width 8,640,000 square inches. Remember the diameter of the sun was 864,000 miles.
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WikiAnswers - What is the diameter of the sun?
The Sun and Stars question: What is the diameter of the sun? 1.4 million kilometers or 870000 miles.
So . . . proof of Noah's Ark?
BWAAAhahahahahahaha
The Flood?
Hahahaha,ohstopityou'rekillingmehahahaha
*gasp* eeeeeeeeeeeeee
... And the Great God of the mathematics came to me in a vision and said:
"Son of Manifold, descendant of the Lie-group...
The Golden Number, the one which will reveal the Lord's Kingdom on the Z-axis and ensure your eternal derivation from the evil squared, lies diffeomorphic to the circle of the Earth!
Any Child of the Prime God who can calculate and compute the Golden Number will truly be secured a place within circle group of the Right Angles.
Here, my child is your task, let me not down.
Since 666 is the devils number my Golden Number is only made up of nine's, three is the number of nines, my child.
Nine to the power of (nine to the power of nine) is golden!
Behold the power of NINE!"
Yeah...so, that is just random nonsense. Like there are 12 inches in a foot, and 12 disciples. ah...um....well, lets see....there are 3 feet in a yard, and there is the trinity. Oh my....oh my....intelligent design is real. Jeebus is real!!!! And jeebus spent 40 days and nights in the desert, and....and. OH MY!!! There are 40 inches (rounded up a tad) in a meter!!!! Oh HOLY JEEBUS!!!! YOUR ARE REAL!!!! There are FOUR gospels....there are FOUR seasons in a year!!!! MORE PROOF THAT GAWD IS REAL!!!! PRAISE JEEBUS!!!!! I AM NOW CONVINCED AT THIS ABSOLUTE INTELLIGENT DESIGN PROOF!!! I CONVERT!!!
How easily they believe such nonsense. Oh well. It was a fun post to be sarcastic.
@Devils Chaplain: Funny that Naval Achitecture comment.... good one.
Two different numbers, two different units of measurement, two different planes (3-D area, though you didn't calculate depth, versus 1-D diameter).
Also, you're not supposed to dabble in numerology. Utter fail, my friend.
I dunno what the diameter of the sun has to do with it, because that boat apparently has a hilariously impossible footprint of about 176 square miles. How is that, made of wood, ever going to sound like evidence *for* Noah being a true story?
The sun has put his hat on,
Hip, hip, hip hooray!
The sun has put his hat on
And he's coming out today!
Coming out? Hmmmm Could that mean...? Not the sun! Surely not!! Gasp!!!
OMG TWO RANDOM NUMBERS HAPPEN TO HAVE THE SAME DIGITS!
Not to mention that the length of the cubit, a measure based on part of the user's body, was by definition variable. The average estimate I've seen was 18 inches. Perhaps Ezekiel had long arms?
"Remember the diameter of the sun was 864,000 miles."
Also remember that god is dog spelled backwards.
Now see, that's the kind of coincidences that make sane people go "Huh. That's a cute coincidence I guess.". We understand that fiddling with numbers mean nothing. Afterall, that's not the diameter of the damn ark, the ark was not a sphere, and it's the supposed volume of the ark. AND you got an extra 0 in there.
But for some reason it makes biblical thumpers go "ZOMG!!! JESUS!"
"7200 inches in length times 1200 inches in width 8,640,000 square inches. Remember the diameter of the sun was 864,000 miles."
What's the diameter of the sun got to do with anything? Oh, I see, using large numbers to make it look like there was enough room for all the animals to fit. Inches =/= miles.
Or is this some kind of numerology thing? "These numbers match, this must mean Goddidit!!!1!!!"
So you're suggesting a wooden boat with an area of 219.456 km2? Seriously, are you high? that's the size of a not-so-small island (Aruba is 193km2)and there's no way an old man and his family would have constructed that and even less made out of wood; and even if they had managed to build it, the worthiness of such a vessel would be terrible and would have sunk immediately. Besides I don't think there ever has been enough wood in the entire Middle East to build something like that.
@Dr. Gus
the claimed size of the ship isn't *that* bad.
7200 inches is 600 ft long, and 1200 inches is 100 ft wide.
So it's on the scale of a cruise ship, not an island.
Still total fundie bullshit though, and what has the sun got to do with anything?
So, the ark was supposedly a flat-sided rectangle?
And, who gives a big rat's a** whether the area in square inches of that fictional barge is similar to the dreamt up former diameter of the sun?
@Headache -- No! Behold the power of nein.
Obviously you failed Math...
Okay, using your super long cubit...
7200" = 600'
1200" = 100'
600 X 100 = 60,000 sq feet
= 1.3 acres
Now perhaps you could explain how you fit every animal into 1.3 acres of land? Especially since you only have a 24"X24" window? Along with food and room for waste. The ammonia in the air would kill you.
Oh, and by other texts of the time, you know real ones that don't mention a flood, we know that a cubit is actually 18" not 24".
And what the hell does the diameter of the sun have to do with Noah's ark?
Edited because I suck at math today :)
WMDKitty (#1005928): A "cubit" was the distance between the elbow, and the tip of the middle finger, a bit more than a foot long.
I say we all demonstrate a cubit to Proof of the Creator, in unison!
not only is this just stupid, you got the numbers wrong!
the sun is 870000 miles!
shut up with your bullshit numerology
Totally off the subject, but here goes-
Overheard on the 40th day of the cruise o' life-
"Honey, where's the termites?"
LOUD CRASH from the upper deck-
(heard weakly from the cargo hold)~ "never mind- I found them"~
That site is a barrel of laughs!
The first cite they use to for the diameter of the sun is how many hits you get when you Google "Sun 864,000 miles"
That's what I call science!
The diameter of the sun is 864,000 miles
The diameter of the earth is 7000 miles...
8,640,000 square inches is just 0.02 square miles
AKA freaking tiny... We have ships BIGGER than that and we could not fit all the animals in the world in it. And indeed have trouble building them out of iron and steel and your claiming some incestous goat herder had wood technology that could do it?
quick maths lesson
1 inch << 1 mile
Also from the video:
"A cubit is a cubit and a hand breadth Ezekiel 43:13"
so to know the size of a cubit, we need to know the size of a cubit?
Infinite recursion! Surely *that* must be proof of God!
8,640,000 square inches. Remember the diameter of the sun was 864,000 miles.
You can't meaningfully compare a unit of volume to a unit of distance, dolt.
8,640,000 square inches = 0.0022 square miles
864,000 mile diameter = 5.86*10^11 square miles assuming a circular sun...(spherical is bigger, of course)
Note the 14 orders of magnitude...
So you think that God, while telling Noah how large to build the ark, decided to take the size of the sun, multiply by 10, convert its size to a measurement system that hadn't been invented yet, change the unit of measurement to another one not yet invented, and then specify the area of the boat based on that, so that thousands of years from that time, someone would notice this fact and realise it was irrefutable proof of his existence?
I don't know, seems a bit... Roundabout
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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