Colonel-Knight-Rider #racist fav.me

(The title of the journal entry was “'Be Politically Correct!' Reprise Revised” and is colonel-knight-rider’s reworking of the Be Prepared song from The Lion King.)

[Spoken]

[HYENA MESSENGER]
Scar! Guys! Good news!

[SCAR]
Silence, fool! Can you not see that I’m taking a moment to grieve the loss of my most famous musical number?

[HYENA MESSENGER]
That’s what I was coming to you to talk about! We’re gonna sing our song after all!

[SCAR]
Oh? Do go on.

[HYENA MESSENGER]
Yeah, but…uh…the vocals and lyrics are reworked to sound all shouty and scary and psycho. So, it might not capture the spirit of the original. It’s also a lot shorter.

[SCAR]
[Pauses]
Very honestly, I’m not sure what to make of that. It certainly sounds intimidating, but is it worthy of my original piece, especially when the new me lacks the human facial characteristics?

[2019 SCAR]
You’re just saying that because my voice actor is black, aren’t you, RACIST? Now, give me my privilege!

[SCAR]
*Gah!* What are you even doing here, Reboot Me?! I thought you were above getting triggered like social justice warriors. The problem isn’t the voice actors. It’s the realism. The very disturbing near-shot-for-shot reshoots of classic scenes with too much realism and not enough colorful facial expressions, body language, or other ways of expressing human emotion.

[SHENZI]
Yeah! And your hyenas ain’t even a little funny!

[BANZAI]
Get out before we eat you alive!

[Singing]

[SCAR]
It’s time Favreau came to his senses!
“Be Prepared” will receive an encore!
But, as per the audience consensus,
The Uncanny Valley’s in store.

[HYENAS]
Amid all the feuding and rages,
There’s one thing we do know for sure:
O.G. Disney lasts through the ages!
Live action remakes don’t endure.

[SCAR]
So, prep—

[2019 SCAR]
2-D films are yesterday’s message!
A clapped-out, distracted regime
Whose failings undoubtedly presage
The need for a different dream!

[SCAR]
*Hah!* You just plagiarized your own thesis,
Which now shows how lazy you are!

[HYENAS]
Like your film!

[SCAR]
I don’t care how lifelike your face is.
YOU’LL NEVER OUTWIT CLASSIC SCAR!!!

Still, prepare for a dark age for Disney.
Be prepared for the brand’s suicide.

[HYENA #1]
I heard they’ve for sure made
A black Little Mer—

[HYENA #2]
If we don’t spill details,
It might increase gross sales!

[HYENAS]
Our lack of emotion
Will lead to commotion!

[SCAR]
The Disney we once loved has died!

[ALL (–2019 SCAR)]
SJWs won’t leave us spared.
Be prepared!

[HYENAS]
SJWs won’t leave us spared.

[SCAR]
Be prepared!

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Confused?

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