PEACE THROUGH PORK!
In the fall of 2010, patriots from Idaho County, Idaho sat around a campfire enjoying an adult beverage. The discussion turned to concern and disgust that a mosque was being built at ground zero. Everyone in attendance agreed that freedom of religion is paramount for all peoples of Earth but this showed poor taste and had a sense of "rubbing our noses" into 9/11 tragedy. The discussion turned toward possible solutions to stop such a great insult.
History of dealings with radical Islam from the days of Jefferson and the Barbary Pirates to actions of Gen. John J. "Black Jack" Pershing in the early 1900’s in the Philippines gave clarity to a modern day market solution-Jihawg Ammo. Our preference is peace first but if a fight is to be had we are determined and resolved to win. Thus came the beginning of the truest form of defensive ammunition ever created in history.
A natural deterrent that prevents violence just by owning it but will strike fear into the hearts of those bent upon hate, violence and murder. Jihawg Ammo is certified "Haraam" or unclean. According to the belief system of the radical Islamist becoming "unclean" during Jihad will prevent their attaining entrance into heaven. Jihawg Ammo is a natural deterrent to radical and suicidal acts of violence.
Our Porcine Coating (Pattern Pending) is infused with the highest quality pork product made right here in America. Jihawg Ammo is produced in the great state of Idaho.
We at Jihawg Ammo hope you will stock up on Jihawg as a natural deterrent to the ever growing threat of radical Islam and Sharia Law. We, however, stress that the nullifying principle of our product is only effective if you are attacked by an Islamist in Jihad. Otherwise, our ammo functions just like any other ammunition so we obviously insist upon defensive use of our ammo only-not offensive.
50 comments
Correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I heard from a similar post on this topic, Islamic law has exceptions for when non-halal eating is forced; in this case, when it's injected via bullet.
Maybe this isn't satire - it's actually a brilliant piece of marketing aimed at really stupid people, possibly living in Idaho.
Plus, not only are they selling ammo rubbing in pig fat for (I assume) many times what it's worth, they can put all their customers on an FBI watchlist as people who intend to go around shooting Muslims.
It.. could happen?
There are, I think, three possibilities here:
1) They're hoping for a very large contract from some exceptionally stupid official at the Pentagon who knows nothing about Islam to supply US troops in Muslim countries;
2) They're encouraging Americans to go hunt down Muslims;
3) It's a stupid publicity stunt which will sell ammo to ignorant gun lovers who think that pork is some kind of anti-Muslim talisman.
It's interesting that the dealings of the United States with the Barbary Pirates gets brushed aside when you mention the Treaty of Tripoli, but it gets brought up in the context of "radical Islam," though I'm pretty sure that the Barbary Pirates wouldn't have had the faintest clue what Jihawg Ammo would have meant by that.
Question to the firearms owners here: Wouldn’t bullets covered in pork fat jam your weapon much faster? I cannot imagine that it’s so good to a gun machined with today’s small tolerances.
@Hasan:
It's interesting that the dealings of the United States with the Barbary Pirates gets brushed aside when you mention the Treaty of Tripoli, but it gets brought up in the context of "radical Islam,"
Yeah, I noticed the same. But True Christians couldn’t possibly be hypocrites, couldn’t they?
Wasn't the issue of pork fat on bullets for Muslim Sepays (and beef fat for Hindu ones) one of the immediate causes of the Sepay Rebellion?
Apart this, it is, at best, a stupid publicity stunt.
You DO realize that pork is unclean to Christians too, right? I mean, just because the liberal secularist Nazi communist gay atheists declared WAR on good Christian values by selling pork and convinced your ancestors that it was okay to eat it doesn't mean it isn't still against your god's rules to do so. Isn't that what you fundies keep harping on about? That just because society accepts something (homosexuality, tattoos, D&D, etc.) that doesn't mean that it's okay? So why is it that just because you are able to buy a bacon cheeseburger at five different places within a mile radius that means you can suddenly decide that God can be ignored?
@dionysius
Mark 7:18-19 [New King James translation]
"So He [Jesus] said to them, 'Are you thus without understanding also? Do you not perceive that whatever enters a man from outside cannot defile him, because it does not enter his heart but his stomach, and is eliminated, thus purifying all foods?'"
1st Corinthians 10:25-26
"Eat whatever is sold in the meat market, asking no questions for conscience’ sake; for 'the earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness.'"
The kosher law as described in the Old Testament no longer applies to Christians. The Book of Galatians and the Book of Hebrews examine Jesus' fulfillment of the Old Testament law in great detail, so it is best to read them for clarification on this doctrine.
This makes not a bit of sense. The people that you're going to shoot with the pork bullets won't have any idea that they've got pork on them, and it won't make any difference to them anyway, seeing as how they'll most likely be dead. And since you don't believe in Islam, you don't believe that they go to Paradise anyway.
All in all, it's just a stupid idea.
Is it sad that I think this is less stupid than the company that offers to turn your loved ones' ashes into bullets so you can mourn their deaths by firing them into the air?*
*Yes, that is a thing. Look it up if you don't believe me.
Wow that is incredibly hateful and stupid. I am terrified of anybody who would buy this. And, hey, as a bonus, it seems like this would also appeal to anti-Semites!
Also Muslims are allowed to eat pork to avoid starvation and are not held accountable if they are forced to eat it, so it stands to reason that God would not begrudge them having pork freaking shot into their bodies.
I do wonder how many Islamist Jihadists are running around Idaho to make these people think that there is an actual threat of being attacked by one. >_>
"Everyone in attendance agreed that freedom of religion is paramount for all peoples of Earth but this showed poor taste and had a sense of "rubbing our noses" into 9/11 tragedy."
Oh FFS:
1. If it isn't a Jihadi Mosque than no.
2. Apparently it freedom of religion of another is worth less to you that your non-existent right not to be offended.
3. There is absolutely no reason to use the word "into" here instead of a simple "in". There's no movement "into 9/11" here. FFS, learn English, it's not that hard.
"Pattern Pending"
If you can't spell patent you shouldn't get one.
@Gus: AFAIK, some schools do, others don't. Because Islamic Law is polycentric law, this isn't exactly written in stone.
This is stupid and will only make the terrorists hate us more. Not only that, but what exactly will this ammo be used for? I always assumed the army supplied soldiers with ammo and guns. Is it possible for a soldier to bring his own ammo when he goes off to war? If not, then this ammo would not be used on terrorists and instead the advertisement implies that this ammo could only be used on muslims in America. The vast majority of muslims here are innocent, so thus this seems to be advertising the killing of innocent people.
Of course, these are the fundies, so them supporting the killing of innocent people does not, unfortunately, surprise me anymore.
How old does a beverage have to be to become 'adult'?
Is it kept on the top shelf in the store?
"Pattern pending"? Did you get something wrong there?
Defensive, not offensive...Hmmm. Sounds pretty offensive to me.
A few questions:
1. Why do I have to type in a few letters to gain access to the site, based on the country of my IP-adress. I mean, Muslims are a real threat in my country (Netherlands) according to politicians. So I need those bullets. As long as I use them in my country against Muslims it will be defensive.
2. Will it work against Jews. I'm not saying I will, but they might become a threat, so I'm just wondering.
3. Can you infuse them with Beef too? Just in case some Hindoes become threatening.
4. Will it still work after I dipped them in Holy Water? Pagans could become dangerous too.
5. Is there some sort of warranty? If I die and I find out that none of these religions where right, and pork/beef/holy water infused bullets have no special properties can I get my money back?
I wonder if any of these people (and I use the term lightly) realize that sitting right there on their computer is the Arabic glyph used for 'Allah?
Check out Unicode glyph U+FDF2. Any modern computer will have fonts that include Arabic symbols in Unicode, and U+FDF2 is right there among them.
Arf, arf arf. :-))
"Muslims don't explode into dust when pork touches them."
If I understand it correctly, these Jihawg Ammo guys think that if you cover a Muslim terrorist in pork he won't blow himself up anymore because he's afraid he won't get into Heaven if he dies covered in pork.
Which is ridiculous anyway, it will never work. The prime directive of the suicide bomber is martydom = guaranteed paradise, nothing else matters, any possible transgression is forgiven. Some of the 9/11 hijackers were already involved in deliberately sinful stuff, alcohol, pork , hookers.
Would be cool if it did work though. Screw political correctness.
@werewolf
image
Mmmmmmmm Bacon Bullets
It's not like vampires and garlic. And get ready to get attacked for daring to eatpork in their presence. By the liberals who laugh at you as "superstitious"", but encourage having everyone follow religious dietary rules.
What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Is it just me or is our resident concern troll getting more and more incoherent?
Uh, Islam forbids EATING pork. Pork is not "Muslim Kryptonite", you nimrod. YOU FAIL RELIGOUS STUDIES FOREVER!
Also, the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque" is a Sufi-run Community Center that was built several blocks away!
is this dumbass trying to sell bullets made of pork
or is he selling bullets that contain pork?
either way, it's pretty fucking stupid.
@Old Viking
I'm reminded of the Mondegreen in Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody":
'Spare him this life
From these pork sausages! '
X3
...but then, there is the one right at the end of "One Vision", which is actually used in the Queen-based musical "We Will Rock You":
'Just gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme...
Fried Chicken! '
Mondegreens. Gotta love 'em.
Hilarious! Anyone stupid enough to buy this garbage, probably deserves their gun exploding in their face.
These "Jihawg Ammo" (okay, they get half a point for the creative effort) people, on the other hand, certainly deserve the resulting multi-million dollar class action, for trying to exploit the stupid people.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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