A group of conservatives is working on “a thought-for-thought translation” of the Bible “without corruption by liberal bias.” Yes, that Bible. The organization seeks to create a document that, among other things, is “Not Emasculated,” that “Express[es] Free Market Parables” and that favors “conciseness [over] the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio.” That Jesus was such a wordy socialist.

According to the brains at Conservapedia, the Web site responsible, liberal tendencies in the previous versions of the Bible can’t be blamed on poor translation alone. The fault also lies in “lack of precision in the original language.” You don’t say.

Before you scoff, know that Conservapedia has anticipated your derision. “[L]iberals will oppose this effort,” the site warns. “ut they will have to read the Bible to criticize this, and that will open their minds.”

The group’s guidelines for the Conservative Bible Project are below.

Conservapedia via Swampland:

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:

Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, “gender inclusive” language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level
Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”.
Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as “gamble” rather than “cast lots”; using modern political terms, such as “register” rather than “enroll” for the census
Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”

Thus, a project has begun among members of Conservapedia to translate the Bible in accordance with these principles. The [partly] translated Bible can be found here.