i used to be entirely ambivalent to misandry, but i am now 100% in favor of misandry.
let me explain: my mom almost got attacked by a sexual predator on a tour in new orleans because he made her feel guilty about distrusting him. he shamed her for not trusting a complete stranger and made up a fake daughter to make her feel safer around him. and this wasn’t a long time ago, it was last summer! my mom could have been killed because she was guilted into trusting an actual rapist.
she only found out because they ran into one of his victims, who risked her job to warn a couple on the tour to get my mom away from him. you matter more than some man’s feelings. if you feel unsafe around a man, you trust your gut and if he makes you feel guilty for it you run the fuck away.
if men are using your innate distrust of strangers to manipulate you into doing dangerous shit then distrusting them is a necessity. there are men i know who are amazing, caring people. but the evil ones out there are learning to act like them just so they can hurt you. a good man will understand this and realize why you’re nervous.
do you think the man who ended up saving my mom got offended that my mom initially distrusted that predator because he was a man she didn’t know?? no. he told her to follow her gut next time and made sure she got back to her hotel safely. good men don’t get offended that women distrust bad men.
For the sake of sanity, you should have stayed away from misandry.
Ah, misandry because of personal experience. As if that validates the hatred of half the world’s population. I’m sorry that happened to your mother, but it’s not like a bad experience someone had from an individual justifies generalizing an entire group of people that shares that person’s sex, race, whatever. You don’t even need to be a misandrist. Most people don’t trust complete strangers anyway.
“ if men are using your innate distrust of strangers to manipulate you into doing dangerous shit then distrusting them is a necessity.” Automatically, distrusting men solely because of the bad apples isn’t a necessity: it’s discriminating against the majority of men based on the minority. It’s no different from automatically distrusting a black person because they might be a thief or a thug, but they’re being judged because of an arbitrary factor like skin colour. I get the feeling that you’re citing that you know “amazing, caring men” after going on a spree about how women need to distrust men to justify being a misandrist. A good man won’t understand why he and other men are being lumped in and distrusted based on the actions of men that they have nothing to do with, and he will realize that it’s not a sensible position of yours to hold.
first off, i was insane when i didn’t support misandry too. i’ve had ptsd most of my life because i was first sexually assaulted at age 4 and have been exposed to abuse ever since. men have been systematically destroying my sanity for 19 years, i think i’m entitled to mistrust them considering i now have literally 15 mental illnesses from abuse and cannot risk backtracking because i may literally die. men and boys did this to me, i genuinely have no choice in this.
and also, i have been abused by women but nobody ever blames ME for my abuse when the perpetrator was a woman. funny how that works. i’m expected to just deal with being abused by men and forgive them for it but i’m allowed to be mad and hold a grudge when a woman hurts me. even when it’s the same fucking thing! i’ve had two stalkers, one a man and one a woman and guess which one i get blamed for? go on guess. THE FUCKING MAN. i get blamed for a man choosing to stalk me.
what exactly harms men i personally distrust? it’s not like i’m shooting them or stabbing them, i’m just not talking to them or going places alone with them or having sex with them. i don’t see how that’s bad. there are plenty of people who don’t talk to me or hang out alone with me or have sex with me and it doesn’t hurt me in the slightest because i don’t expect that out of everyone i meet. some people don’t wanna know you, who cares? men are way too sensitive about people not wanting to hang out with them or fuck them. just chill out.
plus, my distrust of men is validated by crime statistics, not just personal experience. distrusting black people isn’t. i don’t even actually distrust men of color the way i distrust white men because they are not logically a threat to me. my distrust of men is 100% logical as a survivor of numerous sexual assaults. i’ve talked to all of my therapists and psychologists about this and none of them have said it’s unhealthy to distrust men while i’m still recovering soooooo honestly i don’t care. and i’m never gonna care. i need to focus my energy on not backtracking because, again, i could die and now that i’m on the right combo of meds for my past experiences i actually don’t want to. so honestly if it keeps me from getting hurt i’m gonna fucking do it no matter what some stranger thinks. sorry not sorry.