Atheists Ask The Dumbest Things...
My struggle to reach the militant atheists of YouTube.com and get Christians to SPEAK UP about their faith in these end times continues, but, occasionally, there is something that comes along that gives me a gut-busting laugh!
Numerous times I'd passed over CityzenJane's ridiculous question below and never thought to respond to this mockery of my faith. Tonight, however, I was feeling a bit feisty and came up with an answer worthy of such a question. Thus, I thought I'd share it with my readers....
CityzenJane (3 days ago)
RaptureAlert (14 minutes ago)
102 comments
That makes my Grandpa's horrifically lame jokes seem like the very zenith of wit.
Ha, ha.
Sorry... your end times are a few years off. I, myself, am going to throw one amazing party in 2035. It will probably end up being nothing, I'm suprised the fundies haven't jumped on this one, but I suppose not 'believing' in science will do that. Just in case everyone here is preemptively invited. WWJH? (what would jesus hotwire?)http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2005/13may_2004mn4.htm?friend
Asking for your car IS funny because that bullshit ain't never gonna happen. So who is the fool, the one who asks the smartassed question based on a foolish premise, or the one with the foolish premise?
Someone doesn't know their Rapture doctrines, do they? All earthly objects will be left behind, including car keys. Which does imply that Jesus is going to be hosting a big naked get-together in the sky with all the faithful...
Jokes aside, I find the Rapture the most ridiculous theological concept I have ever come across and the demonstration of what E. Waugh used to say, that all creeds have an idea of Heaven that it would be inhabitable by the standards of any civilisation. Heaven is a state that depends much on the person believes and disposition. You can´t turn it into a kind of G or, at most, PG rated party and Hell a kind of Guantanamo. The rapture gives them the sensation that they´re special, that life and death and all the important concepts in life are like highschool proms or detention and that they´re going to be sheltered, as usual. That´s what, I think, CityzenJane meant. Even if the tribulation comes, there will be no significant changes in their lifes. Their rhethoric "convert or go to hell" has the same effect.
Son, you buried the lead. Next time, try it without the unnecessary background info. Plus, your timing is a bit off. The punchline has to come quickly, not three days later. Any comedian will tell you it's all about timing.
The best thing a true believer can do to win over an atheist is to 1. distance themselves from today's apostate christianity and 2. Let them know that the Jesus of the bible is not the same as the many Jesus imposters masquerading as the son of God in today's world. All that is called christianity is not christianity. All that call themselves Jesus are not the Son of God. I can tell from listening to the priests/pastors of todays babylonian so called christianity that the Jesus they worship is not the same Jesus I worship. People are hungry for the truth, which is something in short supply in today's world, especially under the steeples of the idol temples calling themselves "churches" The pastoral system is as idolatrous as anything ancient babylon ever invented. Anyone who comes between a man and Christ is an antichrist. Look behind today's pulpits and you'll see many of them. Research the sin of the Nicolaitans Jesus says He hates in the book of Revelation then tell me I'm wrong. Regards, Dave
2 Peter 3:4They will say, "Where is this 'coming' he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation." 5But they deliberately forget that long ago by God's word the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water.
My struggle to reach the militant atheists of YouTube.com and get Christians to SPEAK UP about their faith in these end times continues
"in these end times"
Kill yourself now.
That's fine. Us atheists, you see, are all criminals anyway, so we would just hotwire it. No problem.
Hahahaha, end times my ass. In every generation there have been some paranoid Christians who thought they were living the last days. Pull your head out of your arse, man, THERE AIN'T NO APOCALYPSE COMING...
...at least not the Rapture.
well i give that a big, WTF.
How can someone brag about such a crappy comeback? It should go down as one of the worst in history.
Athiests might ask the dumbest things, but Fundies have the crappiest wit in the world.
HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA!
Comic genius! Truly, this breaks the stereotype that fundies are humourless gits.
Oh, wait, no, it's completely fucking retarded.
I do enjoy fiesty fundamentalism. Also, if the bible is 100% acurate as they claim it to be, I'm glad there's all these people running around waiting for the world to end. Doesn't it say that the end will come when it is least expected? But wait it also says that you should always be ready for it... but then... wait... and
End times? Yeah, right.
Like I'd want your car. Your lot doesn't seem to see a need to maintain anything, not your world, not your relationships and not your cars. After all, The Rapture is going to happen "any day now" so why bother?
If proof of the Rapture is seeing random piles of clothes in the street, just how do you plan on being whooshed with your car keys? And for being a good, charitable Christian, that seems awful spiteful.
CityzenJane (3 days ago)
RaptureAlert (14 minutes ago)
katie5000
First, Michael acts like he's never heard that before. Second, it took him that long to come up with such a stupid response? He can't take the keys with him. Besides, if it's a nice car, it would be worth the cost of having another key made. If it's a pile of junk, it can be sold for scrap. Either way, Jane wins. To top it off, he thinks he's so witty that he makes a post about it. I kind of feel sorry for the guy.
The only part of that which I found amusing was "in these end times."
We've had more end times than Australia's got sheep but these dickheads still don't get it.
(The so-called joke was a bit lame. Ever heard of hot-wiring?)
Apparently he inherited his sense of humor from parents that named him Mickey Mickey.
> My struggle to ... get Christians to SPEAK UP about their faith <
The rest of the world would like the mouthy fuckers to shut the hell up.
"Atheists Ask The Dumbest Things...
My struggle to reach the militant atheists of YouTube.com and get Christians to SPEAK UP about their faith in these end times continues, but, occasionally, there is something that comes along that gives me a gut-busting laugh!"
Someone else tried the same thing:
http://www.freewebs.com/astdt/index.htm
He failed. Hideously. Gives we at FSTDT a gut-busting laugh at how there's only two quotes there. And most, if not all the comments are by we FSTDTers!
image
Something else that's funny? When one clicks the quote link it says 'The blog you were looking for was not found.' Yep, real funny.
And not in a 'funny-ha-ha' way, neither.
Seems to have disappeared. Poof. Gone in the digital aether. Nebulous. Nonexistent.
Just like the concept of the (C)Rapture eh, Mike? Enjoy your wait, Raptards. While we Atheists continue to get our gut-busing lulz from taking the piss out of everything you & your ilk say in the very much alive and extremely active Fundies Say The Darndest Things.
>:D
"After the Rapture, can I have your car?"
"Sure, but I'm taking the keys..... just to be a total dick about it."
If you're going to commit yourself to something as stupid as the Rapture you should be aware that even that ridiculous concept has some absolutes. You will rise bodily without any Earthly possessions, you CAN'T take your keys. joke fail, witless.
Hell, some of you nuts know this and are all concerned about their fillings and replacement joints while others think their gonna be watching Nascar on huge screens in their mansions wearing their Duck Dynasty shirts, Rover by their side in Heaven.
Getcher fantasys together you bunch of mentally handicapped hicks.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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