If you have unprotected sex with strangers without disclosing your status would you then tell your sexual health doctor?
This happened today, and upon revealing that I hadn't used condoms with the people that I'd had sex with most recently, the doctor went into 'stern' mode. I told him that people were having sex with of their own volition and that if they wanted the sex to be unprotected then it was their choice. His response was that they only had a 'real' choice if I told them I was positive. Hmmm...
I didn't wish to continue this line of conversation so asked that we move on.
I know that doctors see it as their job to 'educate' about safer sex, but it irks me that they're peddling the view that it's the one (diagnosed) with HIV that has to take responsibility. And it did make me think I'd probably just lie in future to avoid being lectured.
So, when asked by doctors/nurses, are you inclined to tell them the truth about your condomless encounters, or not?
21 comments
Damn right you are supposed to tell them, Zohar! Think of it this way if it was your sexual PARTNER who went to the doc, would you want her to be allowed to infect you freely? You belong in some nice, secure facility, preferably to be held in solitary with an occasional crust of bread. Your doctor should testify at your very brief trial, and the jury should rise all together and point at you while shouting "Off with his head!". All televised, of course, with the audience laughing and cheering.
You know, when people catch venereal disease(s), people, especially the medical establishment, try not to blame the recently infected for catching it. They receive non-judgmental care and counseling in ways to prevent them from getting another disease.
The fact that Zohar is having a pity party of not being able to have a sex life s/he had before becoming HIV positive really shows his/her character. Zohar is incredibly selfish and refuses to acknowledge that his/her HIV diagnosis is a direct result of his/her reckless sex life. Furthermore, Zohar doesn't want to bother him/herself with the burden of informing intimate partners about being HIV positive in fear that s/he will be turned down.
Dips**ts like Zohar are a major reason why HIV and AIDS are a problem worldwide.
I told him that people were buying a house of own volition and that if they wanted the house without digging up the yard, it was their choice. His response was that they only had a 'real' choice if I told them about the leaking oil tank buried in the yard.
Same reasoning, except that the home buyer can sue the seller.
I will never understand how anyone can have penetrative sex with someone they're dating/having a one night stand with and not use condoms. Duh, you can get an STD and women can get pregnant...
This guy is trying to claim that if he's at "low risk" to spread HIV, it's not really his problem. Or it's not his responsibility, either way, since he goes on to say:
Think back to when you were negative; if you had to choose, would you rather be pushed off a cliff, or take a load from someone with HIV?"
He sure does like to give a whole lot of excuses and tries to rationalize that he really bears no responsibility when he is having unprotected anal sex... Totally agree with the poster who calls him a sociopath and a cuntwaffle.
You DO have to take responsibility, you fucking psychopath. How the fuck are people going to make informed choices about their status with you when you leave out something kind of important such as that you have a life-threatening STI for which there is no cure?
You don't want to disclose...well you shouldn't have sex at all, but if you must, then do your partner the kindness of using a fucking condom.
You're no better than any other mass murderer. You merely kill with a bioweapon.
"I didn't wish to continue this line of conversation so asked that we move on."
And if your doctor is any kind of medical professional then I hope he slapped the living fuck out of you and told you to sit down, shut your mouth and listen if you wanted to leave the building without cuffs on your wrists. And then reported you anyway. I know I certainly would have.
@ Phil O'Macedon
This dolt is so self centered and devoid of compassion it's nauseating me.
I think what we have stumbled on here may be - thank goodness - a real rarity: A true lack of conscience in a sadistic monster who uses sex as a weapon and as a tool for revenging himself on the world for whomever infected him.
I knew someone like this. She was a prostitute and HIV+, and this was more than 15 years ago so no-low viral load for that one. She deliberately infected people and flatly told us about it. At the time it wasn't illegal, and though staff (including me) warned our hour-renters that she was HIV+ they didn't believe or didn't care.
She's dead. I'm certain some of her clients and their other sex-partners are, too. Maybe a few of their children, as well.
Doctors have to go into "stern" mode when the patients don't follow the guidelines.
It's sex education teachers's job to educate about safer sex, in high-school and earlier. It's a bit late to start educating when the "pupil" already has an incurable STD...
Everyone should take responsibility when having sex, of course. But the ones who KNOW that they are positive of any STD, but even more so for HIV, have a higher responsibility, to not spread it around.
The best way to not get lectured is to follow the guidelines, you silly bint.
Let's put it like this, Zohar: Would you have appreciated it if the person who infected you had told you about their status? Of course you would have. But somehow you're so special that you don't have to tell anybody anything? If one of your infectees comes after you with a gun I hope you realize that "I was horny and you wouldn't have put out if you had known" isn't a defense. Get used to being called a sociopath.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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