But that agreement didn’t hold for long. A few days later, the counselor and the girl were messaging each other on social media. Among other things, the counselor called the girl “Al” – a boy’s name – and said she was worried about her being at home with her family.
She told the girl, "If you feel unsafe at home, or are thinking of hurting or killing yourself, there are people I can call to make sure you are safe. Please let me know if this is the case." (Very disturbing: The counselor is putting suicidal ideas into the girl’s head!)
When Ashley found these social media posts, she was livid – and felt even more violated. She sent this email to the counselor, pulling no punches:
I am asking you once again to not have any contact with my daughter.
She is doing fine and we are doing the very best that we can. This "turmoil" was caused when a confused little girl went to a trusted adult and was encouraged to believe that she had a mental illness (body dysphoria).
This trusted adult (you) did nothing but encourage my daughter to believe this lie and THAT has caused her more pain.
31 comments
Parents don't own their children. Those children are in their care until they are legal age, but they are not property. This woman has no idea whether or not her child expressed suicidal ideation before the text conversation. She assumed the counselor 'put that in her head.'
Because only bad parents have kids who are suicidal or who have gender dysphoria. And, by God, this woman will not be called a bad parent by some simple, educated professional who knows more of a gender dysphoria than she does.
“(Very disturbing: The counselor is putting suicidal ideas into the girl’s head!)”
(Very disturbing: The propagandist is trying to make you outraged over a standard counselor response!)
Parents do not get to invalidate their children and all the outrage you’re trying to stir here only falls on the heads of that deranged psycho of a mother abusing her son. Why is it that we are letting these scum dictate to us, to anybody at all in public square what and how to be outraged about? How is it that we do not have a much stronger, powerful screaming outrage at them in return, at their “concerned parents”, the real abusers and their propagandist tubes? Why aren’t there progressive, freedom loving people screaming their lungs out at schoolboard meetings at those deranged puritanical fanatics, even if to just show the rest of them that it is them in fact, who are the minority and will not dictate to us all!
They need to see the mass of people arrayed against them, need to hear the overwhelming NO, HOW DARE YOU?!
Here’s what’s fucking scary about the right’s attack on trans kids– it has a very real emotional appeal. If otherwise reasonable people who do not understand transgender issues are convinced that government workers are going to make their kids be transgender, I can definitely understand how they would get worked up.
Propaganda works.
She is doing fine and we are doing the very best that we can. This "turmoil" was caused when a confused little girl went to a trusted adult and was encouraged to believe that she had a mental illness (body dysphoria).
This trusted adult (you) did nothing but encourage my daughter to believe this lie and THAT has caused her more pain.
Notice the wording there. The big absurdity, the thing that clearly must be an induced lie is not even transexuality in itself. It is the idea of the child having a mental illness . That her child may not be “normaal” and “perfect”.
It is as with the anti-autism movement: They do not truly see their children as new life, as people on their own right. No, to them, children are supposed to be flawless replicas for the purpose to prop up the paremts’ status and conformity. And if the children are not “normal” and “perfect”, they fail at this purpose, Hell, people may even think that there is something wrong with the parents!
These scumbags are a disgrace to parents everywhere.
the counselor called the girl “Al” – a boy’s name
This feels a bit weird. There are multiple female and neuter names starting with “Al”, and while the most common nickname versions of these (when applied to girls/women) are “Allie” or “Alex”, it’s not unheard of to call a woman “Al”, especially if she’s a bit on the butch side. Not that this matters much since this is either a nonbinary child or a trans boy, I just find the presumption that “Al” is an exclusively male nickname to be a bit odd.
@Zinnia #121717
Yep, I’ve got one of those names, and only people who I trust are allowed to use that nickname. I’m also wondering if above kid also has one of those names but maybe the parents are too weird about gender stuff to allow their daughter to be called Al.
To me, it seems like the counselor was just doing her job admirably and trying to offer emotional support to the child who does not have such at home. Meanwhile, the parent is clearly the asshole for violating her child’s privacy and emotionally abusing him/her/them for not being “perfect” enough and needing psychological support.
Only in Fundie Land (aka, bizarro world) is the abusive, selfish parent in the right here and the helpful counselor evil…
Seriously, what the actual FUCK is wrong with you , Ass Resistance !?
Oh the horror, THE HORROR! Al for a girl could be short for Alison, Alice, Alanna, Alexandra, Eloise, etc. You should not be revealing her name, especially for a minor. Also how do you know the parent isn't abusive or the girl isn't suicidal? If some disaster does happen, that counsellor would be the first in the hotseat!
But the horror is people like you who want to cause kids like Al more pain. Even death. . .like the putrid vultures you are!
@Bastethotep #121712
The sad thing is that not only are these monsters utterly abusive (emotionally and sadly sometimes physically) as parents and extremely egotistical psychopaths, but as we can see from Ass Resistance, most fundies (aka a creepily large percentage of the USA) even celebrate such behavior and are utterly convinced that’s a “parent’s basic right”. Because to them, children are the possession of those two people who made them (especially the father), and nobody else. Hence why they also oppose abortion and don’t support adoption.
It’s utterly sickening how innocent children are just treated as objects by them. By that definition, even pets have more rights than offspring in their eyes…
Anyway, you want my opinion? As “emo teenager” as it might sound, child does NOT owe their parents anything for being concieved (after all, they never had a choice in it). If anything the parents owe their children everything. I think it’s a basic responsibility of a human being not to have children if you cannot guarantee they’ll have a fair shot at a happy life.
“When Ashley found these social media posts, she was livid – and felt even more violated”
MOM felt violated.
SHE doesn’t think she’s a male because that would be crazy, and i won’t tolerate her being crazy. How would i look as a mother, raising crazy kids?
'Al' can be short for Alexander, sure.
Or Alexandra .
See where you've fucked up, OP...?!
Come to think of it, body dysphoria. Not gender dysphoria. While “confused” is a typical byword for “not convinced they’re supposed to be strictly masculine/feminine solely for the bauplan”, I wonder if something else is possible, like Al wanting a stout body as opposed to slender (q.v. fatphobia), or even just eating disorders Ashley knows nothing of.
EDIT: Although transphobia is definitely the top suspect after seeing the history of their existence: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MassResistance
(Stay off Cape Cod, you lot. I’m pretty sure most of us don’t want you about, and you know how Provincetown will react in whole.)
“(Very disturbing: The counselor is putting suicidal ideas into the girl’s head!)”
We faced this a lot when i workd the suicide hotline. People see someone’s depressed, but they’re afraid that if they ask, “Are you suicidal?” they’ll ‘put the thought into their head.’
Or not.
My second night on the hotline, a guy called. he had been having some tough luck. Failing business, distant family, no love life. He used all the key phrases from our training, too. “They’ll be sorry” and “Won’t have me to kick around any more” and “finally notice when i’m gone.”
"She told the girl, "If you feel unsafe at home, or are thinking of hurting or killing yourself, there are people I can call to make sure you are safe. Please let me know if this is the case." (Very disturbing: The counselor is putting suicidal ideas into the girl’s head!)"
Talking about what to do IF she has suicidal thoughts is not the sane as putting them in her head. She isn't saying "don't have suicidal thoughts" as reverse psychology!
@Timjer #121745
Parents are there to ensure their kids have a reasonable shot at life. If they fail at that, they should not be parents. Fuck parental rights, it should be about the rights of the child.
‘Course, you say that running for office in the US, you’ll get clobbered in the suburbs.
Yeah, just ignore that your own child is too terrified of you and what they know you can do if they tell you who they are and you disagree… focus only on how personally insulted you are that their fears are being treated as valid and not disobedient nonsense to be “disciplined” out of them so you can get your grandkids who’d better not get any funny ideas about who they are when you make that clear to them either.
Some of you have noted that “Al” is actually quite neutral as nicknames go. To me this indicates the severity of the control being exerted over this person’s life by their parents. This isn’t just about who they identify as but indicates there is a strict idea being enforced as to how they present themselves to other people. Simply having an affectionate nickname is the problem, not that it might suggest they’re male. They cannot be Al, Alex, Lexxie, or anything they are not called at home. They are to speak their full name “properly” at all times and probably have a long list of coached behaviour to adhere to otherwise they’re a “failure and embarrassment” at proper interaction. To me, it’s a possible sign they cannot be their own person in ANY way the rest of us take for granted even to how they’re expected to speak among supposed (and probably carefully selected) friends.
I heartily agree with all the commenters here decrying the reaction of the parent (not least for reading a child's personal messages and then sharing them with a message board ), but I want to offer a tentative alternate explanation.
My grandmother had very severe depression, and received shock therapy for it in 1960. She was never the same; you could say I never really knew her since I was born later. My father was so deeply affected by this that, when I was an adult and told him I had depression, he refused to believe it. He told me to my face, "That's a lie. You do not have depression."
He was a great father, but I think to him "depression" meant "shock treatment" and he couldn't see past that.
I was in my 20s at the time, so I didn't need his support (although it would've been nice!) but what if I had been a teenager? What if he had refused to get me the treatment I needed because he couldn't handle another person he loved having depression? And I wonder, how many parents are going off the deep end because they have wrong ideas about transgenderism? Which makes education of adults as important as that of the children.
Just a thought.
If YOU think someone’s so depressed they might be suicidal, they’ve already thought of it.
I have clinical depression, but I’ve never been suicidal, and it’s popped into my head before. If you’re depressed, you WILL wonder if the world would be better off without you, even if you would never consider killing yourself.
<@Why? > #121848
No, sorry, I was referring to your earlier quote, not that. This is what’s unclear to me:
Worst part is that it will work. Too many of these people are blinded by their own emotions to see a different perspective here.
What will work? What people are too blinded to see which perspective?
@Vgal #121927
I mean that there are a lot of people in the US who don’t understand these issues and interpret this as an attack on their kids. Because of fundamentalist Christianity, they’re not necessarily open to approaching the subject with an open mind.
As a result, since they think their kids are under attack, they’re very much motivated to change the system.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
