Calling all/most men sexists/rapists/abusers is just as bad as saying that all/most black people are violent thugs who hate white people.
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Unfortunately there is a kernel of truth here. Women have to treat all unknown men as potential abusers and rapists to an extent because abusers and rapists don't go around wearing a big sign that says "I'm an abuser/rapist." They blend in with the normal people. I remember seeing a survey of the users of online dating sites where the male were most afraid the women they meet would be fat and the female users were most afraid the men would rape or murder them. It's a very real concern for women.
Imagine this scenario: You are starving and in a room full of other hungry people. Someone comes in and gives everyone a plate of food and says one of the things on it is possibly poisoned. Then you watch other people start eating and get sick. A few drop dead.
Actually, the worst that he could possibly do would be to lure you into a false sense of security, then abuse/rape the victim. A lot of abusers are perfectly capable of hiding the fact that they are abusive from others.
As Scrappy noted, there is an unfortunate kernel of truth to the thought that all men are sexists/rapists/abusers. It's not that us men all are, because we certainly are not, at least consciously... it's that all women will have to deal with multiple men who are, or they will know someone who has had to deal with it. There's no way for the woman to know that I won't try to hurt her, so if a woman approaches me with that attitude, even if it's technically misandry, I feel like it's on me to just deal with it calmly without returning any hostility.
Most men are not rapists but most rapists are men. Since there's no way to tell the difference right off the bat...
Plus OP is correct that there's no epidemic of cops and gun obsessed vigilantes (think Zimmerman) killing men and using "well, they were probably rapists" as a successful excuse to get away with it. The worst side effect of treating all men with wariness as a means of self-preservation is hurt feelings.
The suspicion that all men are creeps leads to some very unfortunate societal practices... like how you're very unlikely to find a man working in a daycare/Pre-K/other childcare situation... because there are parents who are super uncomfortable at the thought of leaving their innocent, vulnerable child in the hands of an unfamiliar adult man. Adult men visiting playgrounds with their children have to be extra careful to avoid looking too long at any other child, for fear that the kid's parents will accuse them of being pedos. A man walking down the street at night happens to be about 15 paces behind a woman...chances are she clutches her car keys or a can of pepper spray as soon as she notices he's there.
However... as a woman, I am both able to acknowledge that this is awful and admit that I see the reasoning. 1 in every 6 women has suffered through rape or attempted rape. One American every minute and a half or so experiences sexual violence. Women make up about 90 percent of rape victims... it's a sad fact of existence that women have to be afraid that men will abuse them.
That being said: 70 percent of rapes are committed by an acquaintance, friend, or partner. Strangers are much less likely to hurt you. Child abuse is the same way...the odds are that the child was hurt by someone in their family or a close family friend, not by a random guy in the park. Perhaps it's time to stop treating men like potential criminals for existing in the same space as a woman or child.
Most women won't falsely accuse a man of rape, but some will. Therefore, avoid women.
The logic is just as valid.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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