["What is your opinion of strap-ons?"]
I think strap-ons are a product of compulsory heterosexuality. I have never used them in my relationships with women because to me it just seems like a product of the “who’s the man in the relationship?” trope that is applied to lesbian relationships. There is constantly pressure to apply heteronormative roles to lesbian relationships, and I think wearing a fake penis to mimic heterosexual sex is one of those things.
37 comments
she has a point, all marriages regardless of sex are seen through the perspective of Dominant/submissive, or Masculine/feminine partnership.
@Ivurm
My sentiments exactly. What's the point of liberating women from one gender role if they're just going to be pigeonholed into another? They're just like MRAs.
Speaking of strap-ons, I wonder what it would be like for a guy to have sex with a girl with a strap-on.
I'm, uh--I'll be in my bunk.
(Rat begins inserting large amounts of wadded-up toilet paper into his nostrils in hopes of stopping the crimson geyser issuing therefrom.)
@Da Rat Bastid
Now that I think about it... me too.
*enters porn bunker and files through giant cabinet of porn based on weird paraphilias, reaches the "S" section, turns to "strap-ons," and proceeds to read intently*
Strap-ons are just a device used by some couples to give pleasure to each other.
@Ivurm
When I see some Radfems, I can observe the only difference between them and a random minister from a conservative denomination is the fact the latter could be said to provide comfort to some grieving parents.
Speaking of which, the scenario for the birth of the Republic of Gilead in the Handmaid's Tale involves an alliance between radfems and fundies, which wad inspirated from Moral Conservatives and Radical Feminists teaming to fight against pornography and the funding of sex change operations.
"the scenario for the birth of the Republic of Gilead in the Handmaid's Tale involves an alliance between radfems and fundies, which wad inspirated from Moral Conservatives and Radical Feminists teaming to fight against pornography and the funding of sex change operations."
Yeah. And then there was the household where the title character served as a handmaid. The wife of the house, Serena Joy (Faye Dunaway in the movie,) used to be a "women's place is to be wives and stay-at-home mothers!" televangelist. Careful what you wish for.
Look, if you don't like them, fine. But stop telling gay women who do like them that they're imitating heterosexuality.
@ Goomy:Speaking of strap-ons, I wonder what it would be like for a guy to have sex with a girl with a strap-on.
Great fun and I highly recommend it.
I read on a blog once that they interviewed some women about their experiences having strap-on sex with their (male) partners and the response was that the sense of power was an unexpected turn-on. Which logically makes sense; male or female, gay or straight, we like having power and it's very easy to eroticize.
@Ebon
Okay, so I did a little research and apparently there is a term for the act: "pegging."
I heard the term before, but I didn't know that that was what "pegging" is.
A note to previous commenters:
This person IS fundie. Not because of her preference, but because she's passive-aggressively insulting everyone who DOES have a preference for strap-ons.
Her argument is, "if they were REALLY lesbians, they wouldn't use toys I don't like! And now that I've given the reasons why I don't like these toys, THEY can't use them either, or they're secretly against feminism!"
The problem with this person is not her dislike of strap-ons, it's her dogmatic insistence that anyone who DOES like them is secretly against her goals.
You do not get to tell other people what they may do as consenting adults in their own bedrooms. Ever. Even if you're doing it for "feminist" reasons.
Addendum:
Also, while I admit that this may not be a representative sample, I've read some erotica from lesbian authors where a strap-on was employed.
So the author compounds her error by insisting that she speaks for all women.
Women are human beings, like any other social group, and that means that as individuals, they may have different preferences.
(midnightcyn)
Isn't that why strap-ons were invented, though: to allow women to enjoy a penis without having to deal with the man who's typically attached to it?
Is this too much off topic? When I was a young guy I complained about not drawing much attention from the ladies at the beach. A friend advised placing a potato inside my swim trunks. Next time we were at the beach I did so, only to be completely shunned. I returned to my friend and said his advice was worthless. "Well, you damned fool," he replied. "You're supposed to put the potato down the front of your trunks."
(Old Viking)front of your trunks.'"
*chuckles softly* You and I are part of a slowly-but-surely-dying breed: people old enough to remember a time before the scourge of Political Correctness made ethnic jokes something to be eschewed instead of enjoyed (being one-eighth Polish myself , you'd better believe I speak from experience).
@Da Rat Bastid
I could probably be construed as being within the "Political Correctness Gone Mad" generation, but I enjoy ethnic jokes too (and I'm almost half Polish).
Including ones about Jews (and I am Jewish also).
I don't think this is fundie. She's not saying women can't use them (or men who are doing a bdsm power play where the strap on prevents orgasm) just that lesbians sometimes feel forced to use them because it's what people expect.
@Goomy
Distind's right. We are a perverted lot.
That being said; I join Ebon in recommending it. I had a mister who liked to have his prostate rubbed but wasn't a fan of dudes. I got a thrill out of making him squirm and he enjoyed it enough to ask for it fairly often.
She may or may not be an asshole in a lot of cases, but here's a case where she was asked for her opinion and gave it, with her personal philosophical reasons. That is not fundie. She has a *point.* She doesn't say, no one else should; she says 'to me, they feel like part of the cultural oppression and I cannot enjoy them.' It's her goddamn sex life, which someone *asked her about.*
Lesbians have only just really started to escape the constant pressure to adopt gender roles within their relationships and pair up along butch/femme lines. This is a thing, one which has done a lot of emotional harm to a huge segment of the gay population.
"Please do keep in mind that I am not a lesbian, and am currently in a heterosexual marriage with a man. This is simply my opinion as a bisexual woman who has had sexual relationships with women where strap ons were proposed."
Sorry, dearie, but if you have had sexual relations with other women, then you ARE a lesbian. Not exclusively, but a lesbian nonetheless.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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