fundie

In the following months as Victor progressed deeper into satanism, his interest in pornography took a back seat. Learning the powers of Satan became his new "profession," as he called it. Each time I was taken to his home, Victor told me a new story about what he had seen in a ritual. At first the rituals seemed fairly innocent, and I wasn't too frightened. There was fire changing colors and ghostly apparitions coming out of the smoke. Bodies were levitated. Objects were moved by the power of the mind. Once he even described how the powers of Satan (which he always insisted were good powers) had healed a woman who was dying. The high priest had used magic to make the cancerous tumor come out of her body. "She coughed it up," said Victor. "I saw it with my own eyes!" Initially I thought that all my fears might have been for nothing. But gradually the stories became more sordid. When he told me about a ritual in which a young pregnant woman had sold herself to Satan, I knew there was nothing "good" about satanism. "If only you'd been there, Lauren," he said with great animation. His wild excitement in simply recalling what he saw made him act as if he were high on drugs. "The woman was so brave. She just held her arm out and let the high priest cut her wrist. She let the blood drain into a chalice, and then do you know what she did? She sold her soul to Satan. She used her own blood to sign her name on the pact! You had to be there. You just can't get the same feeling by my telling you about it. You have to be there to see it and feel it for yourself! "

Victor's words were spilling at high speed. When he stopped long enough to grab a breath, I blurted, "Stop it! I don't want to hear anymore about it. Please, don't tell me any more." "Oh, but you've got to listen, Lauren, because I'm going to do the same thing, and you're going to be with me." I felt as if I would choke on his words. Before I had time to even begin to deal with his declaration, he raced on. "This is going to blow you away, woman. Listen to this! The high priest prayed this really weird prayer. He asked the demons to come forth. I couldn't see them, but I guess they did because he started to talk to them. He asked them to give this woman's baby a name because Satan was going to be its father." Victor paced the floor as he spoke, walking faster and faster. The way his eyes darted around the room, it was as though he could see the ritual taking place right in front of him. Then suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks and lowered his voice, as though he didn't want anyone else to hear him. "Lauren, when the high priest asked the demons what the baby was to be named, I heard the most eerie-sounding voices I've ever heard. I thought, 'Someday I'm going to have the power to make demons talk to me.' Then the high priest spoke a name to the woman, but I couldn't understand what it was."

He started pacing again as he said, "Do you know what the woman did next? She sold her baby's soul to Satan too, by signing its name beneath hers on the pact. Doesn't that just blow you away —selling your soul to Satan? Do you know how much power I could have if I did that!" With that exclamation he raised his clenched fists into the air as though he were celebrating a great victory. I knew then that there was no turning back for Victor. He was headed straight into the hands of Satan, and he intended to take me along with him. This would be different from the studio and the house of torture. Here the rules weren't clearly defined. I didn't know what to expect. High Priest of Satan Victor was faithful to his promise that I would go with him to a satanic ritual. What I didn't expect was that it would be in his own house. "Guess what?" he said one evening with a wicked smile. "I am now a high priest. A high priest of Satan!" He motioned for me to follow him and we descended through a cellar-type door in his floor to the basement. I had not even been aware that there was a basement; a rug had covered the entrance. The basement was cold, damp, and dark, with a musty smell. A heavy, eerie feeling pervaded the atmosphere and seemed to settle on me as I entered, making it hard to breathe. "You can feel him!" declared Victor in a hushed voice. "That's Satan!" Satan may appear as an angel of light at times, but in Victor's basement there was only darkness. The walls were draped in black fabric, and the only light was from candles and the glow of a black kettle on the floor. I stared at a large slab of smooth rock that was partially covered with a purple-colored velvet material. "That's the altar," Victor explained. Then he pointed to a silver bowl. "That's the chalice that we drink from—our communion cup." Then he pointed to a cross. "It's placed upside down to mock the crucifixion of Jesus Christ."

A glance around the room revealed other objects. There was a goat's head positioned at the front of the altar. I saw an upside- down star within a circle drawn on top of the altar. And to the side was the black kettle. "That's the cauldron," Victor whispered. "Demons are summoned from the fires of hell that are burning in I shuddered, for its glow seemed like a silent omen, it." foreshadowing the very activities of hell. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw the glint of the blade of a very large sword that was lying on the end of the altar. A terrifying thought—what do they do with the sword?—raced through my mind. I quickly shifted my eyes, afraid that Victor would notice and explain what it was for. Right now I didn't want to know. In fact, I didn't think I ever wanted to know. As I tried to calm my racing heart, a door suddenly opened on the opposite side of the basement, and black-robed men, humming in unison, slowly moved in single file to the altar. Victor tugged at my arm, but I didn't budge. I wasn't about to go anywhere, unless it back up stairs.

The humming stopped abruptly and was replaced by chanting, "All hail to the father, Satan. All hail to the father, Satan. All hail .. " While the chanting proceeded, one of the men who was cloaked in a black cape over his robe walked over to the sword and picked it up. "He's a high priest like I am," Victor whispered. As the high priest pointed the sword to the north, south, east, and west, I shuddered as I began to wonder why Victor had brought me down here to witness a ritual. My wondering soon became terror. Spirits were conjured up to curse certain people whom the members wanted harmed. Other spirits were called on to give the coven members more power. Several of the members allowed their wrists to be cut, and the blood was drained into the silver bowl. Then they urinated into it. Finally, wine was mixed in and they each drank from the bowl. Now these robed men began to get unruly. Gone was the initial sense of hushed decorum. I wasn't sure if they were drunk or high on drugs, or if they actually were receiving some kind of supernatural power from the demon spirits they had summoned.

They began to indulge in what looked to me like a sexual orgy. I was surprised to see two or three women. I wasn't sure whether they were coven members, or if they had been brought in just for the orgy. Whatever the case, I had seen enough, but as I turned to try and go back up the stairs, I felt Victor's grip tighten around my arm. "You can't leave!" he hissed. "I'm giving you to Satan tonight." With every ounce of my energy I jerked to try and get free of his grip. But Victor was too strong. He pulled me up to the altar, and two coven members lifted me onto the slab of stone. My clothes were removed and I was positioned and held down so that my private parts were on top of the circle and upside down star. I screamed and begged the men to let me go. But the more I screamed, the more excited they seemed. "Louder. Louder. Satan is pleased," they chanted.

Then the abuse began. One after another, members of the coven brutally abused me sexually on the altar. After each one was through, he drank from the bowl of blood, urine, and wine and announced, "Satan is pleased." With each vulgar act, my will to resist lessened. I felt myself weakening physically, as though I would pass out. As each man climbed on me, I felt as if Satan himself were assaulting me.

Finally, after the last man had taken his turn, the high priest picked up the bowl, took a drink from it, then flung the remainder of it over my body. With that he threw his head back and laughingly mocked, "Satan has had you!" The entire coven picked up the chant. "Satan has had you. Satan has had you. Satan has had you." My spirit was crushed. I was too weak to move, too bruised and ashamed. Finally I was lifted off the altar and returned to the arms of Victor. As he carried me up the stairs, he proudly declared, "Now we both belong to Satan." But that was not true. Silently my heart spoke for me: "I will never belong to Satan. Never!"

Coven Members

Those who put on the black robes, who stood in a circle, who lit candles and uttered unending chants until they saw the very face of Satan—they were not surprised at the fiendishly diabolical acts that were sure to follow. For it was those very acts that would please their father, Satan, and bring more power to them. These participants were not players in a game. They were not there to have fun. One does not play with Satan. Neither does one have fun with Satan. One follows Satan. One serves Satan. In obedience to him, one does Satan's bidding. The evil practices of the satanic rituals I was forced to attend and participate in were not performed in symbolism. They were actually carried out. Those who practiced them were serious about their deeds of evil. Their allegiance to Satan was absolute. They were there to follow Satan explicitly, uncompromisingly, without question, even when he demanded sacrifices of parts of their own bodies. They willingly allowed the tip of a finger down to the first knuckle to be cut off as a sacrificial offering. There was great motivation to do this, for these members believed that through this show of loyalty they would please Satan and experience more power, fulfillment, satisfaction, and success in their own lives. Evil begets evil. Perversion begets perversion. Acts of sadism, sexual abuse, torture, mutilation, and evils that go far beyond that generate a craving for participation in deeper and deeper evils. Satan does not take pleasure in good. The name of his game is evil, and as the members of many of the more self-styled satanic covens find out, one must always top last week's acts of evil. To gain more power and continue to please their hellish father, one must eventually go beyond even what the human mind can conceive. Only the Father of Evil could conceive such diabolical acts of perversion and wickedness, and only the Father of Evil could seduce a human being to carry out such acts. I heard demonic spirits order deeds of such a heinous nature that even the bravest would cringe. Usually I heard only the voices, but on a few occasions I saw the demons materialize. Sometimes they took on the most hideous and grotesque forms imaginable. Usually, however, they appeared as ghostly apparitions with a vaporlike quality that I couldn't quite decipher. At one ritual, several demonic spirits appeared as hairy little creatures with sharp, pointed teeth and eyes that I felt were looking straight through me. Another time an evil spirit appeared as a slinky, slimy creature that looked like it was about to wrap itself around me and cling to me. Regardless of whether they chose to materialize or not, when the demons spoke, Satan worshipers listened and obeyed. I heard demons order curses of the vilest nature—cancerous growths, even acts of suicide—put on unsuspecting victims. They ordered acts of sexual perversion that went far beyond the descriptions of lewd, perverse, and vile. They ordered the literal sacrifice of animals and even humans—both willing and unwilling victims. You may wonder how any human being could actually carry out the orders of such evils and feel that he has done what is right and good. I wrestled with that question myself, for I did feel that some of the members sincerely believed that what they were doing was right. One day, years later, while reading my Bible at home, I found a verse that answered that question for me. Speaking of Satan, John 8:44b says that "there is no truth in him . . . he is a liar and the father of lies" (NIV). From what I had seen and learned about satanism, that verse was true. I began to realize that Satan has never told the truth, but is such a master of deception that the coven members who opened their hearts and minds to Satan's schemes were blinded to the truth. Good became evil and evil became good. Once they gave themselves over to that false truth, all barriers to evil were destroyed. The door to the most diabolical evil was opened wide.

Jonathan looked at the being that had just said his name was Lucifer, the enemy of mankind. The still vulnerable youngster stood in absolute shock and disbelief. Lucifer observed the young man intently, knowing that his mind was trying desperately to ascertain the gravity of his presence along with what he had just told him. Being the absolute master of conniving deception and charisma, Lucifer set in motion his devious scheme to coerce the boy to his dark light and vision.
Smiling magnanimously, Lucifer placed his hand on Jonathan’s shoulder and, with a quiet compassion, said, “I know this sounds incredible, Jonathan, but everything you hold dear is comprised of half-truths and carefully disguised lies.” Glowing with an ethereal luminance, Lucifer continued, “Let me explain from the beginning…”
“The world from which we abide is called Nahash, located around the star you call Alnilam, the center star in the belt of the constellation Orion. Our world developed our intelligence billions of years before yours, and we achieved a level of development where we evolved into pure energy. Our thoughts could be translated into whatever we could conceive. One of us achieved a power and intelligence greater than all and began to reshape the cosmos into his image. He became so powerful he was able to contract the entire universe into one small infinitesimally dense microscopic singularity and release all that enormous energy in what you call the ‘Big Bang.’ This enabled him to reform the universe as he saw fit. His name is Yahweh, the being you refer to as God.”
Jonathan was rocked to the core of his being as he interrupted Lucifer’s explanation, “Wait one moment! You mean to tell me that Yahweh, though powerful, may not be the God we hold as the Supreme Creator?!”
Smiling at the deductive reasoning and high intelligence the young man showed, Lucifer continued, “That is correct, Jonathan. Yahweh is indeed powerful and to you he may appear to be omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, but, in essence he is not God in the sense you perceive God. In the vastness of creation, there are levels of omnipotence that you cannot conceive of in your present stage of development. There are many dimensions of existence in what is called the multiverse which is housed within the omniverse, the conceptual ensemble of all possible universes with all possible laws of physics. Yahweh is only the present manifestation of the Creator Force of this universe. There is, however, a being that is known to those who have attained a certain level of awareness who is the essence and intelligence of the omniverse, and he is referred to as the One Above All.”
“Let me continue, the One Above All decreed that all universes and realities be created, destroyed, and re-created in an eternally repetitive series of cycles for reasons known only to Him. Yahweh decided that instead of being the avatar of the One Above All, he would separate this universe from Himself and create his own cosmos with his own rules. The first thing Yahweh did was to create a pocket dimension he called Heaven, located in the recesses of the Northern quadrant of this universe. He then took the rest of the Nahashians and made them into the hierarchy of angelic beings. I was the first evidence of his creative genius, and he made me the epitome of his splendor, power, and wisdom. I and the rest of the host spent countless eons worshipping Yahweh as matter and time coalesced into its present form.”
“Yahweh then turned his attention to Earth and saw that one of the primitive ape-like creatures had unlimited intelligence and genetic potential. He wanted me to experiment on them. This experimentation took millions of years until I finally created Homo sapiens, who were designed from the very essence of Yahweh. Yahweh was so impressed with my handiwork he imbued man with a fraction of his divine spark that gave man a soul. This surprised and shocked many of the angels, as well as myself, who were confused as to the reason why Yahweh wanted to have created this new race of beings.
“Yahweh gave no reason only that we should be patient and trust him and for a time this was sufficient. However, I discovered that Yahweh intended for man to be a race of slaves, and I did not want this for I had become fond of man. I vehemently criticized Yahweh’s plan, accusing him of lacking vision and benevolence. I decided to collect evidence to persuade Yahweh that humanity deserved to be free to discover their place in the universe and to reach their own potential without the encumbering laws he had created to bind humanity to his oppressive will.
“You see, Jonathan, Yahweh desired all humanity to be his slaves and ignorant to the truth that freedom from his laws bring. I, on the other hand, desired man to have knowledge of self and have his mind opened to realization of that knowledge. Yahweh and I became estranged because of this ideological conflict and so, when in the Garden of Eden, where humanity’s primordial parents, Adam and Eve, the first of Homo sapiens, were told not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge, which was not an actual fruit but a metaphor for forbidden knowledge. Yahweh kept this information hidden from them like in the legend of Prometheus, who stole fire from the gods to give to man. I informed them that their nakedness represented Yahweh’s desire to keep them enslaved because of the threat they represented.
“Yahweh knew that one day man would become as powerful as Himself, and they would become a threat to His reign. Adam and Eve felt degraded by this revelation, and they rebelled against Yahweh who punished them by introducing death, pain, and suffering into the universe to keep them imprisoned to his will. Yahweh then made me the perpetrator of this egregious crime and formulated the legend of Satan and the birth of evil.”
“By this time, the barrier between Yahweh and me had become a full-fledged war, and a third of Heaven had taken up my cause to liberate man. I challenged Yahweh that he was far too removed from man to see how pain and anguish motivated Him to strive for meaning to His mortal existence. I demanded that if He truly wished to understand Himself then He should take human form. Angered by this, Yahweh chose to replicate himself and created Jesus Christ, whom He endowed with all His power. Jesus was fully human at the same time. I challenged Yahweh to experience human passions and desires through Jesus, and this He did by becoming familiar with the mortality of suffering and eventual death. I was awed and shocked by Yahweh’s decision to allow Jesus to die, supposedly as a sacrifice for man’s ‘transgression’ in the Garden of Eden; however, the truth of the matter was— and is— Jesus’ sacrifice was in vain.
“You see, the human spirit is so powerful that at death it resides either in an unconscious state within the body or in an extradimensional limbo. Some await rebirth, while those select few who have lived extraordinary lives are granted oneness with the One Above All, to exist eternally as part of the living spiritual intelligence of the omniverse. Jesus’ sacrifice to atone for sin was another clever ruse to keep humankind enslaved to the will of Yahweh. You see, unlike a regular human, when Jesus, who was Yahweh in human form, died on the cross, He knew that he would survive and thus could never have known the true suffering of man. Man does not know his soul will survive. It suffers, and in this ambiguity, man is granted a gift which Yahweh does not understand: the passion to cling to life and the strength that mortality affords you. Yahweh knew He would survive death and could not truly know what it was to be human.”
Lucifer decided it was time to twist the truth a little more in order to place another shred of doubt in Jonathan’s mind.
Feigning reluctance, Lucifer took a deep breath and vehemently said, “What I am about to divulge to you, Jonathan, is known only to very few. And if Yahweh knew I was telling you this He would most certainly destroy you. Heaven is not what you think. Yahweh created it in an effort to shield his presence from the One Above All and developed the myth that all human souls would subject themselves to his servitude. He formulated that they would abide there with Him after the death of their corporeal forms. The truth is, the only entities present in Heaven are those angelic Nahashians who are in Yahweh’s service, and Hell is another scare tactic He uses to keep his victims enslaved. Heaven and Hell can be on Earth and is how you live your life, Jonathan. You can either live your life a slave to the whims and wishes of a cruel and brutish god, or you can choose to have the blinders lifted from your eyes and see the light of the truth.”
Drawing himself closer to the young man’s beautiful face, Lucifer compassionately said, “Jonathan, Yahweh knows as well as I that humankind has evolved more quickly than anticipated. The latent abilities we foresaw in you will become evident in less than a generation instead of the centuries we thought, and, you my friend, are one of the first of those blessed to become the next stage of human development.
“Homo sapiens are evolving into gods, capable of all manner of wonders and miracles. Your race will transform the universe and I will help you to do so, for this is my desire, to help humans become like me and exist as independent entities, enslaved by no one. I will lead you to your glorious future and together we will topple Yahweh’s destructive and self-serving regime!”
Pleadingly, Lucifer reached out his hand to Jonathan and beseeched him, “Will you help me, Jonathan? Will you take your place at my side and expose Yahweh for what He is?”
Jonathan reeled from the sheer magnitude of all that he had heard and seen as he contemplated everything Lucifer had told him. Was it true that Yahweh was some sort of super alien being and everything he had learned concerning him was a lie designed to keep man from achieving his destiny? Was it Lucifer and not Christ the Messiah who was and Savior of mankind? Was it his destiny to help expose the truth of this to the world?
The young man sighed as he said as if he was weighed down by the entire world’s problems compounded doubly, “This is all so fantastic. I don’t know what to think, or do. I have to consider what to do with all that you have told me.”
Smiling graciously, Lucifer said, “I understand Jonathan. I realize I have placed a tremendous burden on you, but remember, fate rarely calls upon us at a time of our choosing, yet when it does, will you be ready? I will not force you Jonathan. You will have to decide for yourself what to do with what I have told you. Truth is a dangerous thing my friend, for once you have learned from it, you can never go back to who you were. Stay blind and in darkness and remain a slave, or take what I given you and free the world.”
Lucifer slowly disappeared and said in passing, “When the time comes, I shall return unto you and it will be then you will chose either to stand with me or against me. Farewell, until then …”
The sound of Lucifer’s voice echoed into the night sky as he vanished from sight and left Jonathan alone on the shores of Loch Ness.
The Scotland summer wind wafted over the waters of the famous lake and drifted over Jonathan, caressing his body with its warm light touch, as he tried desperately to make sense of what had just transpired. His entire world had been turned upside down and the teachings he had once held dear may all be a part of a carefully conceived lie invented by an immensely powerful alien who wished to maintain a dictatorial hold on humankind in order to prevent them from evolving into a super race that had the potential to bring his tyrannical rule to an end and restore the universe to the care of the One Above All, if everything Lucifer had told him was true. In his mind, Jonathan thought that this was all some form of hallucination, but if it was, then what caused it? He knew in his rational mind that this was indeed a true and real occurrence, but to what purpose? He was well aware that his gifts and talents made him stand apart, but was he so exceptional that he merited the attention of not only God, but that of Lucifer as well? Was Lucifer truly the evil entity he was portrayed to be, or was he indeed the being who truly created humans and the true Savior of mankind? Was he the benefactor of human civilization and not the perpetrator of malevolence and wickedness history showed him to be? These questions and many, many more raced through his mind as he looked over the waters of Loch Ness. The words which Lucifer spoke to him were the most compelling declarations he had ever heard and they carried a ring of truth, but, like strong black coffee, there was a bitterness that hung over him. Had Lucifer told him the truth or was he being the consummate liar he was said to be and was this an attempt to have him become a disciple of iniquity?
Falling to his knees, Jonathan cried out in a loud voice, “God, help me! What am I going to do?! I can’t handle this! It is too much for me to bear!”
The tears that flowed from his eyes dripped down his face and rained upon the ground as he wept in confusion and pain. All of a sudden, the waters of Loch Ness began to churn and great waves were thrown ferociously against the shores and broke Jonathan from his cries to God. The agitation grew more intense as the young man looked in confusion and wonder at what was occurring in front of him. What more could happen to him this night? Suddenly a great serpentine form exploded from the frothing disorder of the waters and released a deafening roar that chilled Jonathan to the very core of his being. Fearfully, Jonathan wondered if this was the famed Loch Ness Monster of legend.