(how to greet Jesus in heaven after the rapture)
What can you say? What doesn't HE know? If I can lay at my Father's feet like my dog use to do by me, I would be so grateful, there is nothing one can say...
65 comments
LOL!
I always thought the raptards would do better as pets than as people.
Hell they even compare themselves to sheep in their religion! No much thinking required and complete obedience to authority. I see why it appeals to them.
Sit Sheprdboi, sit. Good boy.
Jesus: Okay, Sherpdboi, at first this was flattering, even if a little weird. However, when you started humping my leg you took it too far....
Night Jaguar: You know, I've always been bothered by the sheep analogy. Yeah, I get the whole "Jesus is the shepherd leading us so we don't wander blindly into danger" thing, but shepherds tend to shear sheep and eventually lead them to the slaughter. And eat them.
And they wonder why so many people reject their belief system? Who would honestly want to go from a finite life with, at least in theory, freedom and dignity, to an eternity of servitude and submission to some egotistical tyrant?
Dear RR members,
The very fact that one of your members can come out with such a patently ridiculous declaration of faith and not only do none of you challenge him on the point, but you are all equally...for want of a better word, I'm gonna say fixated...all equally fixated: that is a massive, dead giveaway that you meet one of the most important criteria for being declared a cult.
That being the case, nothing I'm gonna say could ever get through to the RR crowd. I'm a blasphemer. An infidel. So you might as well stop reading at this point.
But if you're reading this and you have a friend or relative in the RR circle, you owe it to them and yourself to do whatever you have to do to get them the fuck out of there.
@Smilodon
"Is it wrong that I am detecting some sort of sexual subtext in this?"
Nope. Definite foot fetishism, combined with subconscious anthropomorphism tendencies. That's Sheprddogboi: fantasises about shrimping Jebus whilst wearing a dog costume.
Or a sheep costume.
"If I can lay at my Father's feet like my dog use to do by me"
I rest my case.
@#1104192
"Night Jaguar: You know, I've always been bothered by the sheep analogy. Yeah, I get the whole "Jesus is the shepherd leading us so we don't wander blindly into danger" thing, but shepherds tend to shear sheep and eventually lead them to the slaughter. And eat them. "
I've had this very thought myself. Strange if an event happened such as the rapture these guys are going on about and actually they are being beamed to an extraterrestrial slaughterhouse.
xD
I'm kidding. :P
@FSMpirate
"Fundy Furries Award" nominee."
Sheprddogboi = Bart Bervoets, a.k.a. 'Nekobe':
http://www.ectomo.com/?p=432
Just throwing that one out there.
I just hope that Jesus doesn't smear peanut butter on his crotch.
*edit* damn, someone beat me to it.
The only thing that suprised me about Haggard's 'fall from grace' was that his sexual partner wasn't one of the flock. They do tranfer this complete subserviance to Jesus to their leaders (I think all religions do) so, tip of the iceberg and all.
It's not like the Baptists and Evangelistic churchs are less reported for sexual misconduct. I also believe Bible Belt news agencies report on these less for fear of loss revenue
Wasn't the concept of obedience to someone else supposed to have been eliminated with slavery?
The only person who has the right to tell me what to do, Sheprddogboi (and everyone else on Ruptured Retards) is me .
Thinking, and acting for yourself is superior, and you know it. Religion has no right to tell people what to do. Least of all a so-called 'God'.
You know, it makes so much sense all of a sudden.
Hadn't really thought before. I was always, "why do they throw themselves at the most oppressive of belief systems".
Now I just feel stupid for not getting it before.
Apparently the only thing the bible is missing for these guys is more leashes and whips.
They accuse us of kowtowing to every single person they perceive as evil, and then they speak of literally groveling at Jesus's feet like an animal. Funny, I didn't think "no longer servants, but friends" was referring to "man's best friend"...
His user name makes me sing Avril Lavine
"He was a Sheprdboi, she said see ya later boy....he wasn't good enough for her!"
Dammit!
That's right, just run with the rest of the herd...
[EDIT] And become the mindless slave of an evil god.
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
How DO people this stupid find food?
“(how to greet Jesus in heaven after the rapture)”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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