Pray the following prayer:
"Father God at the count of ten I would beseech you to bring a crushing judgement and crippling blow on the spirits inside this body exalting themselves against you,I pray it would manifest unto them "7 FOLD to 100" I pray your judgement would include all their dealings over the past generations and I pray your judgement would
Place the Bible directly on their heads when the count is finished and ask God to continue His judgement as long as the Bible remains seated on their heads I have found some demons will leave immedietly and then sometimes their are hold-outs but God's judgement is awesome for sifting
48 comments
Wow - people more crazy out than RR, and they have smiley faces dancing around as well.
Chiefs, gatekeepers, demons having legal rights, sorry this is way over my head.
If this doesn't work, find a personal possession of the victim, er, patient. Hairbrushes, toenails, or a finger tip will do nicely. Dip in mayonnaise, and place inside a paper sack along with your Bible. Holding the sack, run into the street, swing the sack around your head like a propeller, and scream like a chicken.
Somebody will be along presently and take you to a nice, soft room.
So, your all-powerful gawd can only banish some demons, not all.
Lazy fucker doesn't seem to be worth the worship.
They probably mean 'shifting' the demonic, not sifting, although I admit that 'sifting the demonic' conjures up some fun images. (Oh, am I allowed use the word 'conjure', or is that of the dark side too??)
I'm also struck by how some demons manage to hold out against God - he's pretty wimpy really.
Elia wrote:
Are you sure that site is for real? The more I see the name on here, the more it starts to sound like a parody. Ministering Delusion? Really?
And THAT is one of the reasons why I say, AGAIN, that we need to ALWAYS give the correct, actual name of the website and quoted fundie in the quoting of the post! The actual name is "Ministering Deliverance," which one quickly finds upon clicking the link -- but if the link is ever broken, or (more likely) the person just doesn't bother to check it out for himself, he makes the judgment that this is just a troll. And who can blame him?
So, dang it, COME ON, people -- use the friggin' correct names! I've seen an awful lot of mangling of the names for the sites "Yahoo Answers" and "Rapture Ready" in particular, and I for one will not tolerate it. Save your snark for the comments threads -- that's what they're for.
Alright, players, pony up to the table....it's 7 fold to 100 here, that's right, 7 fold to 100, just put the book on their heads, sift the demonic and win a cash prize!
Frankly, this is the sort of stuff found in all those medieval grimoires, like the Key of Solomon.
"Demonic Sifting" sounds like the name of a card from Magic: The Gathering.
"I CAST MAGIC MISSILE AGAINST THE DEMON
"IT DOES 5d12 DAMAGE" -- anonymous_troy
And then I cast Dismissal on the demon!
It fails its Will saving throw and returns to its own plane of existence!
The city is saved! (And my character gets the lion's sahre of Experience Points! Yay!
This is just ridiculous!
They say you can ask god to make the demons go away, but they never tell you how long the demons have to wait before coming back. When I was a kid, I'd spend hours repeating the same demon repelling prayer in hopes that if I repelled the demons enough times they would give up and I would feel better. I thought I felt bad because the demons kept coming back.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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