ok so for school my homework was to read a book on evolution in biology. i didnt want to do it but i had to because i need a good grade in biology. well anyways i waited till the last minute to do it, at like 130 in the morning before school. and i was at my hosue alone in my room. i started to open the book but then i got a really cold feeling. i looked around and nothing was there. i tried opening it again and then it seemed the walls started shaking and i thought i heard a voice saying 'beware the way of heathens' i was just wondering if this was god trying to keep me away. also, should i not do my homework to stay good to jesus mk thanks LoLz.
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"ok so for school my homework was to read a book on evolution in biology. i didnt want to do it but i had to because i need a good grade in biology."
"ok so for school my homework was to read a book on evolution in biology. i didnt want to do it but i had to because i need a good grade in biology.""I didn't want to do it because, though I'm still in high school, I already know everything about biology."
"well anyways i waited till the last minute to do it, at like 130 in the morning before school."
If you started ealier you might not have been so stressed and sleep-deprived that you would have such an hallucination.
"and i was at my hosue alone in my room. i started to open the book but then i got a really cold feeling. i looked around and nothing was there. i tried opening it again and then it seemed the walls started shaking and i thought i heard a voice saying 'beware the way of heathens' i was just wondering if this was god trying to keep me away."
So, you think your biology text may have been haunted by "God?"
"also, should i not do my homework to stay good to jesus mk thanks LoLz."
I can see the teacher's face now as you tell him/her that Jesus told you not to do your homework.
Yeah, any excuse for not doing your homework. This is the lamest one in existence, though. This does stink of that "Dog Ate my Homework" excuse, so perhaps this post can get a "God ate my homework" award. Or maybe hate...
"ok so for school my homework was to read a book on evolution in biology. i didnt want to do it but i had to because i need a good grade in biology."
Please, don't do your homework. In fact, just don't do anything that will help you graduate from high school at all. Flunk out and get a job at McDonald's, quick, cause I'm coming to the drive-thru and somebody needs to salt my fries for me. Might as well be you, nate.
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!GOD ATE MY HOMEWORK award, too...
Too bad only 144,000 people get to make it to heaven, and considering how many people are on the planet right now, you're most likely not going to be one of them. Better re-read your bible to figure out the odds on that one, pal.
LoLz, try reading after getting some sleep, sleep deprivation causes hallucinations. or maybe you should go see your psych, unless their a heathen, then you're a bit stuck.
This guy took the warnings about "evilution" he heard in church way too seriously and thought reading the book really would harm him.
He's not mentally ill, just way too open to suggestion.
If God really didn't want evolution taught to be you'd think he could arrange it.
This really does sound like someone using God (once again) to get out of some responsibility they feel they don't want to do.
Yay Religion, you promote good hearty lazyness.
Called a dream, normal people have them
Also, do your homework. I need a good grade too, i miht end up teaching your kid someday.
Hey, when kids refuse to do their assignments and get Fs on them, it makes my assignments look good!
All teachers say to you douche bags is suck it up and get the work done.
Ugh, I wish the separation of church and state was more enforced.
Um.... you hear voices late at night? Is it your neigbours dog?
you know what, feeling cold when your tired is a natural physical phenomena. Our body temperature drops when we're sleeping. But hey, you tell your teachers that god doesn't want you to do homework. Why isn't your mommy home schooling you like a good christian mother should?
Are you sure that you'll get marks without your meds?. Moreover, why do you care about your marks, if you're against any kind of sane knowledge just because a collection of beliefs dating from the Bronze Age tells you so?
I guess that's a better excuse than the old tried and true, "My dog ate my homework."
When did being a Christian mean it was 'ok' to lie or to be 'irresponsible?'
Oh, that's right, follow Jesus' example. Apparently, by fundie logic, he was a liar and an irresponsible cad too.
Ummm, first, go back to basic spelling.
Secound, your nightmares are not always signs from God.
Moron.
Ok, for the last time, doing your homework on acid is not a good idea.
Couldn't have said it better. Guitar_nate deserves a failing grade cause I don't think his excuse would fly. In fact, the teachers might think he was on an acid trip with the whaleshit that nate is spouting.
Possibly the funniest excuse for not doing your homework ever!
Still got detention despite the fact he had no evidence that I hadn't been abducted. :(
I can't believe it...cold...night....IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!
The voice? It wasn't saying "beware the way of the heathen". It was saying "uh, dude, you need an excuse to get out of this assignment. now".
LoLz
Funny how fundies are so worried about reading up on the opposition's literature as if they would somehow be contaminated by doing so! Most of us non-fundies are made of sterner stuff to judge from this website!
This kind of reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes strip.
Calvin is taking a test. He gets to a question that asks him, "What important event took place on Dec. 16, 1773?" Calvin answers, "I do not believe in linear time: all past, present, and future is one. The question is therefore meaningless."
I think this kid is going for a similar approach.
I would LOVE to hear how you would explain this to your bio teacher...I bet she laughed her ass off at you before giving you an F and saying that you need to go see a doctor cuz you're hearing voices in your head. I know mine would've. Heck, I would be on the ground rolling in laughter, like what I'm doing now...
Guys, this is a joke. He said a few pages back that it was.
Although I wouldn't put it past a real fundie to try something like that.
You can be an informed member of society rather than just an ignorant fundie like the others on this site (surely even fundamentalist Christians can't agree with ALL the FSTDT quotes?).
I think you're just lazy. Read the Biology book, learn something about humans and where studies have discovered we come from, and then next time you refute atheism, I'll respect your arguments. Not necessarily agree, but respect.
Good luck in future studies!
"Yeah, see, uh...I was gonna do the homework. I was. I mean, I sat down to do it. I started to open the book!! I got that far. But, um, see...Jesus didn't want me to. Just hear me out. Listen. Uh, well, as a devoted Christian, you know, I couldn't go against Jesus, could I? I mean, burn in Hell for all eternity over some Biology homework? No, I don't think so. I mean, I'm a good Christian! I am! So I couldn't do this homework. No. Sir, listen, Jesus told me himself I shouldn't do that homework. I mean, God told me!! God! He-listen-He did things that essentially said "Hey, you, don't do that homework. It is the way of heathens." Do you maybe have an alternative assignment?"
"No, but you can take the 'F.'"
"And I'll take that 'F' knowing my eternal soul won't burn in the fiery pits of Hell, you heathen bastard teacher!"
Ok. You live near the subway, airport or railroad. At 1:30 a train (Plane) is passing near your house. SO, what's your excuse for not doing your homework, Edgar?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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