[From "Charlottesville To Rename Street After Heather 'The Hulk' Heyer"]

Funny historical speculation here, everyone.

Could there be a chance that thousands of years ago, there was once a civilization that crumbled much like our modern one – complete with non-White migrants and morbidly-obese Communists marching through the streets of major cities.

And maybe, just maybe, there was at that time an incident like Charlottesville in which one of these fat slobs died of a heart attack, and was eventually deified and mourned with statues in its honor.

Who knows?

Perhaps this is what those things we call “fertility statues” really are – monuments to a dead ancient Antifa.

I can definitely see the resemblance between the two—

[...]

So, Susan, now you’re telling people that your daughter was murdered?

Pretty interesting considering the fact that you were the one who told us all that she died of a heart attack – almost certainly generated by obesity, menthol cigarettes, and the strain of pushing all that bulk through 90+ degree summer heat while dressed in black.

[...]

unny how we’ve heard literally nothing from Fields since his arrest nearly two months ago.

Is he being denied his rights to fair trial and gathering of evidence?

Is he even alive at the moment?

I honestly couldn’t even tell you the answers to these questions.

[...]

I’m telling you straight up that history repeats itself.

We need an inquiry into these fertility statues to determine whether they were meant to honor an ancient Heather Heyer, and if so, they need to be stricken from the books as nasty icons not worth $5 on Ebay.