[When asked: Do you know of any examples where a few slaps have saved a marriage a created a happy home?]
First of all, you have to look at all the possible choices you have with a wife who neglects the kids, no meals after you come from work etc...
1) Divorce her
2) Stick with her
3) Hit her
[...] I would pick 3rd because this can avoid the divorce and also being with her won't be so bad. But again, I can't emphasise enough that this is in extreme cases; when confronting her and when giving her "incentives" to act her part. If this fails, you are left with 2 of the 3 worst choices.
[...] my parents have both hit me and I love them unconditionally, alhumdillah. And I sometimes feel good that my mother "knocked" some sense into me. I know the relationship between spouse and parents and children are different but I can't believe that love simply cannot exist after you hit your wife.
50 comments
"First of all, you have to look at all the possible choices you have with a wife who neglects the kids, no meals after you come from work etc...
1) Divorce her
2) Stick with her
3) Hit her"
If those are the only options you can come up with, you aren't trying hard enough. How about "talk to her about it", for example?
And what's so bad about the "stick with her" option, anyway (unless he mistyped and actually meant "hit her with stick")?
Anyway, he appears to not have even come close to answering the question he was responding to. That's unfortunate.
I think it's the wife who should have the right to hit YOU since you're too much of a lazy ass to fix your own damn sandwitch.
"I know the relationship between spouse and parents and children are different but I can't believe that love simply cannot exist after you hit your wife."
So if your wife decided to hit you, you'd be able to feel the love she has for you? Yeah...hitting =/= love.
Hey, Mrs. Raza,
1) Sleep
2) Louisville Slugger
One could implement option 3 in addition to either option 1 or option 2 and make it super-dooper.
Jeez, bonehaed, maybe you and/or you and she could get some counselling, or maybe YOU could cook a meal once in a while. Maybe you should try knocking some sense into yourself, you could sure use some.
Cool, proof that Islam is sexist and contradicting... wait.
Honestly tho, this is almost Poe grade ignorance.
In all seriousness, can whoever posted this PLEASE find out enough information about this guy (the one who asked if he should slap his wife) to alert the authorities. There's no way I trust a fundie women to protect herself. Plenty can be revealed through a few friendly instant messages.
Oh wait, the authorities don't give a shit.
with teh full quote it makes sense. Your parents actually knocked sense out of you and now you think beating your wife is great because it's how you were raised. If my significant other ever physically abused me I wouldn't hang around and neither should your wife, assuming such a person actually exists.
Oddly enough, when I first saw this I thought it was too blatant, and was going to suggest it was a Poe. Then I scrolled down and saw it came from a muslim fundie, not a Christian. Now it doesn't seem like a Poe.
Does that say more about me than it does about Islamic fundamentalists? They don't appear on here often, but when they do it's usually with a quote of epic hilarity. Or hideousness in this case.
It doesn't occur to you that her behaviour is indicative of something being wrong? Like, maybe she is unhappy? Maybe even depressed? Overburdened?
It is pretty much a given that a woman who neglects her children has something going on that would benefit from some kind of counselling. Maybe that should be #1 on your list.
And it is NEVER ok to hit your wife. Never. For ANY reason. Ever.
In months of FSTDTing, I have never before said this, but...
Die in a fire. Please.
People like you honestly just make me sick.
1) cook your own damned meals
2) she stuck with your sorry ass, didn't she?
3) Get arrested for domestic violence.
I like my list better.
Incentives to act her part? Anyone who is being forced to 'act' a certain way to please their small-minded spouse is eventually going to have a nervous breakdown. I don't know what he has in mind but I prefer these:
1. Get counselling (professional counselling, not from some bloody imam). Like it has been said, if your wife is neglecting the children there is something deeply wrong.
2. Help out with the house/kids more (they are yours too).
3. Be grateful your wife sticks with your lazy ass and learn to talk to her.
4. Fix your own damn lunch. A million singletons can do it, so can you.
5. Women are people too and have thoughts, feelings and worries. WE ARE NOT ROBOTS!
6. Look in the mirror every morning and say "I am an abusive asshat and I need help" six times. It will help the message sink in.
7. If all the above fails to create marital bliss, go fuck yourself with a hand grenade.
~ Dr. Rotty
As others have said, I find it equally disturbing that the guy advocated violence as an option, but also failed to suggest anywhere that the actual reason for the "problem" be asked about. The religious mindset again, I suppose - asking questions is bad.
If you hurt your spouse in an effort to control her behavior, you’re garbage. Not only should she divorce you for it, but she should have you charged under the law as well.
That way, if there’s any justice, your supper will always be on-time courtesy of the state.
(This is equally true of how women treat men, as I’ve come across a few gals with husbands who are either disabled or physically weaker than their spouses. Abuse is a crime far worse than infidelity, IMHO.)
If my husband had any ideas about expecting me to have dinner for him when he gets home from work, it's him who would be hit. He is a grown man capable of preparing his own meal. The choice would be for me to throw his food at him, hit him, or walk away from him.
I would then withhold my wifely duty until he remembered that I am not his slave.
That would last all of a day and the next night, he'd have dinner on the table for me when I got home from work.
It's funny how some Muslim fundies claim to hate America and yet seem to want the "Leave it to Beaver" home scenario.
Look, Raza, if I found out that you were hitting your dog in order to control its behavior, I'd report you to the police. What makes you think that hitting your wife is much better?
You go right on thinking that...
Right on up to the time she duct-tapes you to the bed while you sleep, douses you with gasoline, and lights a match.
@SweetViolet: "And it is NEVER ok to hit your wife. Never. For ANY reason. Ever."
Unless of course she's been turned into an evil bloodsucking nazi vampire zombie by the forces of evil evilness and she's trying to suck your blood.
Then it's okay.
No meals after you come home from work? Pfft. I do the cooking in the first place.
Actually, according to the Qu'ran, "scourging" your wife is actually a God-sanctioned way to deal with her when she is being "difficult":
Section 4, verse 34:
Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
So women have been looked down upon in all the threee major montheistic religions. Great.
I hope none of them ever have your children.
Though at least this is from an ex -Muslim board, so that's some improvement.
First of all, you have to look at all the possible choices you have with a wife who neglects the kids, no meals after you come from work etc...
1) Divorce her
2) Stick with her
3) Hit her
I've noticed that Option #4: "Talking to her" is conspicuously absent from this list ...
Yes, they seemed to be the religiously sanctioned ones, however in reality, assholes like that go for option 4.
Set her burkha on fire and have the police report it as suicide.
I don't see how neglecting children is even comparable to not having dinner ready. That's like comparing murder to j-walking. I also don't see how coming home without dinner ready would even incite a normal person to hit their spouse.A hungry man can't order pizza? I can see how a husband giving "incentives" to his wife "to act her part" would incite a woman to physical violence. But then, I am one of those crazy women that think we have rights as people.
Why did you have kids with such a lazy wife in the first place? Where is your responsibility in the matter?
Shouldn't you be able to be the very core of yourself with the person you love and live with? Acting a part is what you do at work, or among distant relatives and acquaintances.
My parents managed to talk sense into me and my three siblings. None of us was ever beaten, as far as I know.
If my husband really hit me, I would leave him that second. With "really" I mean "not in a playful way".
"because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient"
During ten years of our relationship, I earned more money than my husband. I also have some inherited money and a 25% share in a summerhouse.
Should I therefore expect some obedience from my husband?
Apparently women are too stupid to understand words, so you have to go right to the hitting.
What an asshole. If I were his wife, the next meal I served him would be full of rat poison.
I know cowardly assholes just like him, my sister was married to one who thought Allah is quite okay with wife abuse, unfortunately for my brother-in-law, my sister is a tall and well-built college sports jock raised in a military family, and she knows how to defend herself. He hit her a couple of times and she made the fucker bleed, in her own words, he's a model husband now. :P
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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