I have forced all of the demons to go inside of the chief. Then I asked the Lord's holy angels to place them in a tight box and lock it. I asked them to place another box over that box. I prayed and asked the Lord if He would force them to stay in the box until they were willing to leave. I have gotten much relief since then, but they do still attack me somehow. I called down God's wrath upon them today and will continue to do so until they will leave. They won't leave yet. Any other suggestions?
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Crazy Horse? Geronimo? Sitting Bull? No wunner them injuns wuz all mad at the palefaces!
Or... Were you trying to get Demons to bugger them injuns?
A suggestion: you see a shrink and get proper meds to sort our your delusions.
Any other suggestions?
Prozac, Zoloft, Valium.
No suggestions, but you could clarify something for me.
You are telling us that your gawd cannot eradicate some pesky little demons?
Well then. I'd say that's not much of a gawd, is it?
"You can't possibly be serious. Can you?" -- JohnThe Atheist
He can indeed be serious, John. There are PLENTY of folks in the Charismatic/Pentacostal section of Fundamentalism who seriously believe stuff like this.
We need to build an Atavachron and send them all to the Fifteenth Century!
Wow. Brings back memories of my aunt with paranoid schizophrenia. She explained her problems to me just like this, while babysitting me when I was a kid. Fucking scary.
What is the connection between schizophrenia and religion? How many fundies out there are affected by schizophrenia in some way? That would be fertile ground for psychology research.
They won't leave yet. Any other suggestions?
See...
You need to find yourself a much more powerful god than the amateur you are hooked up with now!
I prayed and asked the Lord if He would force them to stay in the box until they were willing to leave [the box].
I think I found part of your problem right here. Aside from the whole reality disconnect thing, that is.
I suggest you put that box inside another box, and then that box inside another box and then...
Oh, this is boring. Just go and see a psychiatrist.
They won't leave yet. Any other suggestions?
This is a bit of a homespun folk remedy, but might work for you:
Eat a basket of communion wafers and wash it down with a few pints of sacramental wine. Wait a few hours, relieve self in toilet. Insert head into toilet, submerging up to nose. Flush vigorously.
This is called the Holy Chocolate Swirly, and should clean them demons out. It also causes those around you to laugh uncontrollably with the joy of teh lord.
Dude, you're crazy even for an edger.
Take your fucking meds. It's not a weakness if you need them- a "crutch" makes perfect sense if one happens to have a broken leg, and your brain is BROKEN.
But that demon in a box, put that box inside of another box, then mail that box to yourself and...MWAHAHAHA!! SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!
Hope it helps, Mr. Frodo.
You know, I had that same problem once. It was freaky.
So, what I did was equip my Saint Medallion until the haunting went away or my medallion broke.
When that failed and I had that feeling of hopelessness set in, I TURNED OFF MY FUCKING XBOX!!
Eh, Silent Hill: The Room sucked ass. It wasn't even originally meant to be a Silent Hill game. Play the original Silent Hill, 2 or 3. Now there's some real entertainment.
I've got a suggestion: Go back to the Shire. This sort of thing never happened there. Or maybe consult Gandalf; he'll know what to do.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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