This week, Ben Roethlisberger and the 5-2 Pittsburgh Steelers travel to FedEx field to battle the 6-2 Washington Redskins ... and their scantily clad cheerleaders.
Forget about the much anticipated match-up between the Steelers stingy run defense and the NFL's leading rusher Clinton Portis, can Big Ben keep from being distracted by the Redskins' cheerleaders who do their pre-game stretching near the opposing team?
[...]
Of course it's a distraction for the players. And it's a temptation for the viewers. It's one of the reasons I'm glad I don't watch NFL games anymore. My wife's loving "Turn away!" still rings in my head. =)
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I bet "Big Ben" has no trouble with the Redskins' Cheerleaders, I bet during his career in football he's seen hotter and scantlier cheerleaders (maybe even in his high school) So, if his team loses, it's not because of the girls, it's because the boys don't play that well!
Oh, and for you - if you don't want to watch football, don't watch it, but you still should learn to get your urges under control!
That ringing in your head is probably a concussion from your wife "lovingly" smacking you upside the head with a Bible for masturbating to the cheerleaders in front of the kids.
Meanwhile, the rest of the universe is still able to watch football without losing their minds about the cheerleaders.
Grow some balls already.
Also this isn't fundie by any means.
EDIT: Oh wait, you're from Fuckus on the Family, so you're a fundie by definition.
@#799210
My wife and I have always lived by the policy that we don't care where you get your appetite as long as you always eat at home.
My wife and I have had the same policy for the better part of 22 years. It works great. No sense in working yourself up into a jealous lather over nothing. You would think that if the fundies' way of doing things worked better, their divorce rates would be lower than the average population.
I *will* say that *real* football teams don't need no stinkin' cheerleaders - just look at the Steelers!
Not that I'm inclined to complain about relatively attractive, scantily-clad women. >_>
Football, as played by the entire world, is better. Throwball, or the NFL, is really boring.
I hate foot-bore, but I hate guys who blame women for their own lack of self-control and want us all to cover up even more. They never think of what, say, a very tight spandex uniform on a well-muscled male body might do to women and gay men, do they? That is probably just as well.
...can Big Ben keep from being distracted by the Redskins' cheerleaders who do their pre-game stretching near the opposing team?
Somehow I believe Big Ben will be able to focus his attention on the game that has made him a multi-millionaire.
I'm too amused by the homosexual innuendo in college and NFL games to be able to focus on the cheerleaders.
You've got cameras zooming in on player's behinds, commentator statements such as "penetrating the back field," men tackling other men, and of course the team finishes up a long, sweaty game with a nice group shower.
@tracer : Not familiar with that sketch, but it sounds hilarious.
So you're saying that
A) You'd watch it if you could
B) You're afraid of your wife
C) You have no balls and can't watch what you want to
D) She's easily offended by you even looking at a woman on TV.
Wow.
Fake your death and escape, man.
The L :
Remember the Saturday Night Live sketch where the Church Lady was interviewing the football players?
CHURCH LADY: "Now, you're a 'running back'. What is it that you do?"
RUNNING BACK: "Well, basically, I try to penetrate any opening I can find."
CHURCH LADY: "Well, now! Isn't that special!"
@ Old Viking: What I edited out so this post wouldn't be a tl:dr was a news snippet about how the Redskins cheerleaders try to distract the opposing team and how Big Ben was a little nervous about it. I found the "temptation for the viewers" and not watching NFL games because of a very small component to be fundie beyond belief.
By the way, what do y'all wanna bet that Mrs. Brown, and perhaps even Motte himself, believe that she is a good, "submissive" Christian wife?
@Blackrose
just look at the Steelers!
Oh I do...lot of tight ends there... ;) Probably a couple wide receivers, too. :p
can Big Ben keep from being distracted by the Redskins' cheerleaders who do their pre-game stretching near the opposing team
My guess is any football player too distracted by the cheerleaders was so shit they never even made it to the college level, let alone the NFL.
And it's a temptation for the viewers. It's one of the reasons I'm glad I don't watch NFL games anymore
You probably get a minute tops of cheerleaders in an average broadcast of an NFL game. You probably see more skin on the commercials that take up the majority of an NFL broadcast. That's also the best reason to stop watching football (or handegg, to not confuse it with better sports called football), so you aren't just watching a bunch of commercials with sports breaks in between.
"Of course it's a distraction for the players. And it's a temptation for the viewers. It's one of the reasons I'm glad I don't watch NFL games anymore"
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...can't think why . [/Vince Lombardi-levels of sarcasm]
Enjoy your paradox, Browntrousers.
@picklemonster
Well, Wembley Stadium is near London:
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And Mr. Browntrouers here would do well to learn that Big Ben refers only to the bell in what is now - since the Diamond Jubilee - known as the Queen Elizabeth II Clock Tower at the Houses of Parliament.
...but then, I suspect that Mr. Browntrousers is just that: subconsciously brown trousering himself over the fact he's the Armoured Closeted sort; 'Queen', if you get my drift...! >:D
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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