In three sentences why I became an atheist:
1) I've always wanted to be just like Madelyn O'Hare
2) I've always thought Stalin was misunderstood
3) The thought of abortion makes me happy
62 comments
Remarkably, fundies fail to grasp that LIKING something does not make it true.
I'm an atheist because, to the best of our knowledge, there are no gods around. If i liked to believe in a god, there would still be no god around. If believing in a god made one a wonderful person and a gift to oneself and the world, there would STILL be no god around.
In three sentences why I became a Baptist:
1) I've always wanted to be like Bill Clinton
2) I've always thought Nathan Bedford Forrest was misunderstood
3) The thought of vigilante justice makes me happy
In three sentences why I became a fundie:
1)I've always wanted to be just like Hitler.
2)I've always thought Bush was misunderestimated.
3(The thought of exterminating heathens makes me happy
"I've always wanted to be just like [Madalyn Murray O'Hair]"
Kidnapped, tortured, murdered and cut into pieces?
You should probably see someone about that.
Is there like a reverse of Poe's Law? Cause I'm curious, you ALWAYS see people pretending to be ridiculous Christians and the like, but I'm yet to see a convincing faux-Atheist and the like. Can it happen? Does it exist? This clearly isn't it and it's barely related, but it makes me wonder
cy4nide
Where do you see people pretending to be ridiculous Christians? The vast majority of the quotes here are not poes, you know, despite people calling "poe" a lot.
Yes, there have been people like this before. I can think of one in recent memory.
Well, that's a nice demonized phantom menace you have there. You really think this is how atheists arrive at their conclusion? Sorry it hurts your feelings that we just don't believe your bullshit. I know it hurts...I know you feel the need to lash out, pull shit out of your ass, and make the dumbest assumptions.
Let's turn the tables a bit:
In three sentences [for] why I became a theist:
1. I've always wanted to be just like some other male authority figure bigger than myself (due to us theists and our Napoleon complexes).
2. I always thought Catholic leaders who protected child molesters were misunderstood.
3. The thought of sending the youth to their deaths in a senseless war so Haliburton could launder their money through the American armed forces gives me a raging fucking hardon.
image
Even good ol' Edgar Allen's expression here is exactly like that of Sheriff Tommy Lee Jones' 'Implied Facepalm'.
(Ye gods, but he's a damn good actor; from "The Executioner's Song" to the upcoming "MiB III", I've never seen him in a bad film!)
1) O'Hare may not have been a terribly pleasant person, but she did have the courage and conviction to stand up for her principles. I find that much more admirable than kowtowing to the self-appointed spokesperson of a phantom in the hopes of obtaining some post-life reward, the existence of which we must assume on faith.
2) As atheism is neither a political nor an economic perspective, this assertion makes no sense.
3) Well, the thought of women being able to control their own bodies and their own destinies does make me happy. An essential part of that is freedom of reproductive choice. Personally though, I'd be happier with fewer abortions and greater access to birth control and reproductive education, neither of which fundamentalists are likely to assist with.
So, hey, two out of three, not bad. If only the fundamentalists could have similar success when discussing science, they might actually be worth listening to.
1. Didn't know who she were, but to stop forced Bible recitations in school sounds fairly decent.
Three reasons why I became an atheist:
In three sentences why I'm a total fuckwit:
1) I like to make generalizations
2) I have no idea about what I'm commenting on
3) I repeat the above repeatedly till I can claim a "win" when others stop replying in frustration
1. While she had a lot of good ideas, I think see was not the sort of person I would care to emulate.
2. No, but I have always thought most of the Christian Saints were over-rated.
3. The thought of an ill-prepared, emotionally unstable, financially insecure woman having access to a safe, medical abortion DOES make me happy.
I had to check wikipedia to find out who Madelyn O'Hare was.
She wasn't the pope of Atheism you know, and she's not the first saint of the church of atheism either.
The other two are annoyingly stupid, but the first is at least fixably stupid
(I haven't looked at the comments yet, and I just know everyone did this.)
In three sentences why I became an atheist:
1) I read the Bible
2) I reflected on all the rationalizing religions do to try to explain why God does not prevent suffering
3) I grew up and accepted death
Oh, and oop at me for not realizing this was satire. I thought this was a fundie being libellous as always, saying the reasons he thinks atheists become what they are. Not a fundie attempting to be a troll. So yeah, obvious poe is obvious.
Three reasons why I became an atheist:
1. I understand the difference between coincidence and causality.
2. I'm not superstitious, and mass hypnosis doesn't work well on me.
3. I don't have to hang around with assholes like Joe.
If you've been on Amazon discussion boards over the past couple of years (unfortunately the general Religion forum mysteriously got wiped out in a database crash a few months ago, but it's coming back), you'd know that "Joe" is just another of many right-wing fundie cranks who regularly gets his ass handed to him in most threads.
This is Joe's attempt at wit, much like pretending to be a plumber is performance art.
1) Madelyn O'Hare- is that the evil bitch I'm thinking of? The elusive atheist fundie?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
