Ok, So my great-great-grandfather was a monkey and my great-great-grandmother was pond scum, they met and decided to reproduce creating a lizard (they also had another monkey, but I haven't found it in our family tree, YET) that lizard met a fish and they created a chicken. After grandma chicken spent years trying to learn how to fly, she finally gave up, reproduced with my grandfather monkey (a different monkey this time of course, which really didn't go over to well with the relatives) she had my mom, who met my dad (a giant north american sloth, found in australia). Now i'm here, I expect one of my children to have a tail or at least some feathers...also, I hope to one day marry either a dinosaur,bird of somesort,a weasel,a mosquito,a gator or another monkey. The one question I have is this...
Will I lay eggs like my grandmother chicken or will I give regular birth like mommy monkey did?
72 comments
*sigh*
See you're trying to make evolution look silly, but in effect all you're doing is making yourself look silly, stupid, and seriously uneducated. If you want to publically speak out against something, at least make an attempt to learn what you're arguing against.
Is there anything on this planet more willfully stupid than a fundamentalist? Absolutely - the global warming deniers beat them easily.
That's similar to how they "taught" the theory of evolution in my sunday school class.
"In the beginning we were all fish, ok, swimming around in the water... and then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby...and the retard baby was different, so it got to live.
Aw, it thinks it's being clever.
It BURNS!!1
As wrong as your whole piece is, I think your major incorrect premise is that you believe that YOU are a human being. I don't wish to slander any other species, but surely no human can be this brainless.
Well, the "fact" that your ancestors are a monkey, pond scum, a lizard, a fish, a chicken, and a sloth certainly helps to explain why your post is SO DARNED STUPID!
I'm with Tempus: given the genetic background you just shared with us, you'll probably bud like yeast. Or simply split in half like an amoeba. Either way, don't forget to keep telling yourself:
Wow, that is one gigantic strawman!
For one thing, you're on the wrong time scale, dearie. Humans and chimpanzees (the closest relatives on the Hominid branch) split about four million years ago.
But of course, you're free to refer to your immediate family as pond scum, monkeys and lizards if you want. Don't expect a large inheritance, though...
A chicken and an egg are in bed, having a post-coital cigarette.
The egg says 'Well, I guess that answers that question!'
[/Joke taken from the Rosetta Stone] X3
[spoiler]The actual answer being the Egg. As birds evolved from reptiles, therefore the Egg came first.[/spoiler]
"So my great-great-grandfather was a monkey and my great-great-grandmother was pond scum,"
No, your great-great-grandfather was not a monkey, as monkeys are our cousins, not our ancestors.
You're too stupid to breed, fibby.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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