God can not do "anything." He cannot have sex or pee or move his bowels.
84 comments
I thought that the first thing God did after he became God was to have a Divine Shit, then he had sex by peeing on an angel.
I guess I was misinformed.
"He cannot have sex"
Omnipotent...?
According to this guy's post, God is not all-powerful. In other words, he may be mortal.
Very strange to hear that from a Christian (assuming that he is one).
Are we talking about him doing all at the same time? Take heart. Not many people can.
If we're talking about each act, he did knock up Mary, peed the great flood that drowned the world , and crapped all over Job. It's in your bible!
Ah, that probably accounts for Isaiah 16:11 then:
Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh.
god cannot have sex. Well that explains a lot. Neither could Jack the Ripper (maybe)(British serial killer who tortured and slashed his victims and kept certain parts) or Andrei Chikataya (Russian serial killer who tortured, slashed and ate his child/young adult victims), or Albert Fish (American serial killer who tortured and ate his child victims) or...well, you get the picture. It explains why he's so repressed, miserable and evil.
As for the peeing and moving of the bowels, shouldn't he have died by now because of that?
He's an inmaterial being, why he should do it?(and, anyway, why he should feel wrath or any human emotion, following your logic?).
@aaa: It's got a large harlem of angels and can't get laid?
Angels, contrary to medieval paintings, are male . Are you suggesting God's a poofter?
The fact that the very thought of God being subject to natural processes such as eating, having sex, and shitting is entertained by even theists shows how absolutely absurd this is getting.
By God, you mean Azathoth?
No, serious? Is the guy a Christian? I took a peek at the thread, and I really doubt SM is Christian or even a rude atheist. He sounds more like a pantheist, nihilist, actual Cthulhuism (I think I've heard something about it; some weird cross between pantheism and nihilism), beliving in Phillip Pullman's Dust or something
maybe his inability to have sex for the past several billion years is the reason hes such a fucking asshole?
but wait, he fucked Mary, didnt he?
This guy's god is pretty lame.
From the same thread...God doesn't have time to think...Can you come up with a way to cause tides without thinking?
How often should God respond to prayer?
since God is outside the natural world, he had to make a natural way to get the tides.
God is all-powerful in the natural world. however, in the supernatural realm, God has his limits and is not all-powerful.
I'm not a fundaMENTAList.
Hindus believe all religions worship the same God.
How come we can see the moon every night?...It's always right there. Why is it never in a different spot?
If the moon is facing away from the sun, how can sunlight shine on it?
I'm thinking this guy's a troll. Either that or a kid. He claims to be 31, married and has two kids. But he could just be describing his daddy.
The Lazy One wrote:
"Damn... that would suck... having to pee for all eternity." True Pee Waits
"God can not do "anything."
Then that fucks up his so-called 'omnipotence'. Ergo, he's not God.
QED.
"He cannot have sex or pee or move his bowels."
After all this time? He must be busting! Also, he must have the ultimate in Blue Balls Syndrome!
XP
"God can not do "anything." He cannot have sex or pee or move his bowels."
Wel, if he can't do any of these things, how could he create an entire Universe, including all the distinct species on Earth? And how could he have a Son called Jesus (or anything else for that matter)? And don't even start on those stone tablets bearing the ten commandments...
"God can not do "anything."
...such as say... exist ? Seems then, that I am more than infinitely superior to God: because either this comment posted here is as a result of an extremely sophisticated AI (one word: Skynet), or I do exist in hard, solid, physical form; 'Cogito Ergo Sum', and all that jazz [/Descartes] to be able to type & post this, therefore I AM superior to God. Nope, not seeing him doing the same - at least in the form of Morgan Freeman. [/'Elephant jumping higher than a house joke' taken from the Rosetta Stone]
If he can't do anything , then he's not omnipotent, thus he's not God, therefore he's a contradiction to himself, ergo he doesn't exist. Thanks for admitting what we Atheists have been saying all along, Self-Mutilation.
"He cannot have sex or pee or move his bowels."
Then he isn't in our image, then. Ergo, the age-old question 'Did God create Man, or did Man create God?' has finally been answered ('Philosophical Questions'? I pee on 'em!) Thanks for admitting what we Atheists have been saying all along II, Self-Mutilation.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
