Phone calls from God still had some children in awe Thursday morning at St. Nicholas of Myra vacation bible school.
“He told me to fish for people,” 8-year-old Noelle Nunes said, “and tell everyone about him.”
“He told me to follow in his footsteps,” 7-year-old Jack Dubois said. “The phone call really surprised me. He didn’t say an awful lot, he just told me to follow him.”
Every child participating in this program received a call from God Wednesday as they took part in games, music and crafts all this week at the church’s vacation bible school.
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I don't agree with it...it sets them up for a nasty fall when they learn they can't just chat with God, and have to rely on faith...but honestly, this one's pretty harmless, IMO.
[EDIT] And then I accidentally WTF it. *facepalm at own fail.*
Yet another case of "the end justifies the means"--as long as you're doing it for your faith you can lie, cheat, steal, and send letters saying "Your son is in hell" to people who've just lost a gay son.
This is so totally fucked up.
And in other news Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and an intelligent fundies are also real.
"And how do you know God is real?"
"I've spoken with him, duh!"
And out of such 'harmless' actions are blind faith made.
When I was about 6 or 7, I got a phone call from David Hasselhoff during his Knight Rider days.
Still, it will piss them off for years to come over being tricked.
Shame on you! It's very low to lie to young kids.
No, I don't like people to lie to kids about Santa Claus either.
You know, it must of taken a lot of effort to coordinate this event. It would have been a lot simpler to pray and ask for God to actually call... since, you know, they believe he exists and answers prayers.
You know, it must of taken a lot of effort to coordinate this event. It would have been a lot simpler to pray and ask for God to actually call... since, you know, they believe he exists and answers prayers.
> Every child participating in this program received a call from God Wednesday as they took part in games, music and crafts all this week at the church’s vacation bible school.
When I was a kid, I got "hidden files" from Santa Claus that told where the presents were hidden. I tried my hardest to ignore the fact that metadata pointed to my father.
Yes, I knew about author metadata when I was a kid. What makes you think the kids won't start ask inconvenient questions about caller IDs and whatnot?
Bottom line: Cute trick, but will lead to questions.
Yeah, what better way to brainwash kids than to have them take a phone call from God. Kind of like how parents make kids believe in Santa Claus.
My question is what are these kids going to say when they grow up & realize that it wasn't really God talking to them on the phone?
They were just testing to weed out the ones with critical thinking skills.
Little Billy: "Why does God need a phone?"
"Yer out!"
Little Susie: "Quick, press star-six-nine!"
"Yer out!"
So little Noelle is told to fish for men; let hope she never hears about "flirty fishing" as practised by the evangelical group the Children of God.
Whereas Evan may have to be told not to follow strange men with a similar voice.
Of course the organisation that arranged this has ensured that all of those that worked this scam is going to hell - "Take not the name of the Lord, thy God, in vain"
My first memory of praying was pretty much done as a phone call: "Hi God, it's me... Hey, can you put Jesus on the line? I'll wait... Hey Jesus, how's it going?... Can you put the Holy Spirit on the line?..." etc.
This is definitely the wrong thing to do, but I wouldn't qualify it as "fundie." Really, how much different is it from a minister saying "God wants you to do this, this and this"?
Lying for Jesus...
...is still lying.
This is just as fundy acting like Santa Claus for christmas. Or the easter bunny. Or the tooth fairy.
Seriously, guys. It seems like you've all become so sickened by true fundies that the moment a church or bible school does something small like this, you guys freak out as bad as if a fundy finds out you're athiest.
You guys need to accept the fact that people believe in religion, just as bad as the fundies need to accept that there are other beliefs out there.
Fundie brainwashing at work. Impersonating God is a sin by your own faith you retards, and no, it ain't "just pretending" if you're letting the children believe that it is, in fact, real. But hey, no sacrifice is high enough for your personal piece of heaven, not even your child's mental stability.
Incidentally, what kind of an 8 year old would be stupid enough to fall for this "call from God" scam?
“He told me to follow in his footsteps,” 7-year-old Jack Dubois said.
Be tortured, crucified and sealed in a tomb?
If you have to impersonate god to get to children.... you are fucked up.
When the kids realize parents lie about Easter bunnies, Santa, and now the Voice of God.... dangerous waters there.
Old Testament God used to speak to people in person. Why does he now need a telephone?
Oh yes, because we now have ways to deal with people who hear voices in their head telling them to do stuff like kill their children a la Abraham.
If as Kirk said 'What does God need with a starship?' how much less should he need a phone.
Despicable.
I heard about this on the Center of Mass podcast. It just goes to show that this idiocy can be found north of the Mason-Dixon line.
I think this is a desperate tactic by the parents of these children who see the difficult task of raising their children to have the same beliefs as them in a world that os increasingly less religious .they are afraid their kids will turn their backs on faith when they are older.. its the same fear that drives places like "Jesus camp" to the extremes .
Right, so an omnipotent god god could not speak to these children in person or communicate telepathically, as he usually does, but this time he chose the telephone.
Next week, on Bible Camp, children will speak with god through internet webcam chat!
Ah, the ol' "Santa Claus/NORAD" school of evangelizing!...
Oh, come on! It was funny as a prank in the Dead Poets' Society, but this is just sad! It reduces God to the level of a department store Santa. The kids will realise they were had in just a few years!
Things like this make me wonder, if they *really* believe in their religion, why would they have someone pose as God? Wouldn't they be afraid that the god they believe in would be pissed off that some joker is posing as him making phone calls to kids that don't know any better? Is there some sort of exemption in the Bible that I don't know about, like "thou shalt not pretend to be the LORD (unless it's done to brainwash children)?
Hmm, it can't be a coincidence that Saint Nicholas of Myra is the archetype for Santa Claus can it ? :)
Well, at least it will make it a bit easier for those kids to connect the dots when they grow up. "Remember when you got that phone call from God? You fell for it then too"
Holy crap. Those poor kids.
As a child, I was told from the start that Santa Claus was imaginary. I was also told that the Christian God was 100% physically real, knew everything I thought and did (or, if you prefer, whether I'd been bad or good), and would punish me horrifically if I didn't follow him. Oh yeah, but he still loved me and was the most pure, benevolent being in the universe. Pah.
You know, I'd really rather have had that belief in Santa instead. Coal in my stocking, or eternal damnation? Hmm...
Remember folks you lying about anything be it about being God or science or anything else you need to as long as you are part of the 'correct' religion
while I don't inherently see this as being fundy behavior I can image the reaction if other religions (or event sects) did this.
Wow? Was it really God?!! Holy crap! Ha ha! Take that, you atheists! Who the man now, huh?
What? Wait! You mean it was just a human pretending to be God? Like the humans who wrote the Bible? Still, I might have guessed. I mean "He" just said useless egotistical platitudes like "follow ME" and "tell everyone about ME"; not anything useful, like "here's the cure for cancer" or "the New Bedford - Fairhaven Bridge will collapse on November 14th and kill all six occupants of a Ford Windstar minivan unless the rust on the northern end is repaired".
"Hello, Billy? It's me, God. Listen, I'm here to issue a divine commandment: when the priest puts his hands down your pants, you must do everything he says, and smile when he take a photograph, or else I'll send you to hell and you'll be on fire forever. Talk to you later!"
Almost certainly a sin by their own standards, and definitely creepy as hell, but it's not particularly fundie.
If there's any justice in the world, these kids will learn they were lied to and become lifelong skeptics.
Almost certainly a sin by their own standards, and definitely creepy as hell, but it's not particularly fundie.
If there's any justice in the world, these kids will learn they were lied to and become lifelong skeptics.
So basically we have an anonymous adult male targetting and telephoning a bunch of preteen children, urging them to "follow him" and to get all their friends to do the same... ("He didn't say an awful lot"; mostly it was just overexcited heavy breathing and a strange fapping kinda sound.)
"And if a grownup asks who you were talking to, just tell 'em it was God - they'll either be overjoyed or think you're crazy! I'm fireproof!"
Lying to children is creepy and disgusting.
I should also say that pretending you're God is unbelievably arrogant and blasphemous, but unfortunately it is extremely common.
Phone call from God? Pfffftt! Can't he text?
This is nothing. Nuu - thing . When I was four years old I talked to Santa Claus * at the department store, and there were THREE of him! .
Scared the hell out of me.
Here's the irony folks. (Not wading through 5 pages to see if anyone else noticed this.) This Bible school is named after the person Santa Claus is based on.
You know, like the movie "Pearl Harbor" was based on the events that happened in Pearl Harbor in WWII.
We all know religious people love lying to children; it's the only way they can keep their numbers up in the face of reality telling them that they are completely wrong.
THIS, however, is so underhanded and psychotic that I fear for humanity.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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