Well if you look to Judges 15, Samson actually defeated 1,000 with a jawbone. I don't consider that farfetched.
76 comments
Uh...
It is far-fetched.
Try again.
Admittedly, compared to other bullshit stories in the Bible, the one about Samson might be seem more believable, but only an idiot with no critical thinking skills would think it could be true.
"Well if you look to Judges 15, Samson actually defeated 1,000 with a jawbone. I don't consider that farfetched."
You believe in an invisible man who lives in the sky who is very disappointed because a woman ate an apple. You don't get to decide what's far fetched and what isn't.
If you will look carefully, you will find out it was the jawbone of one of your more intelligent relatives, Garth, an ASS.
Frank, you win the Internet.
That is exactly what I was thinking when I saw this one in Public Admin last week.
So... in the process of killing 1000 soldiers with a jawbone, at no point did he say, "Oh hey, that guy I just killed had a spear/sword/axe. Maybe I should take that to fight off his other 990 buddies."
If the story is true, Samson is a moron.
Beating 1000 enemies with a donkey's jawbone?
That's nothing! Väinämöinen, the mythic figure of Kalevala, built a music instrument out of a giant pike's jawbone and rocked the hell out of the whole country! How's that for plausibility? Music is your weapon! \m/
No, this is Farfetch'd. image
The "defeating 1000 with a jawbone" is just silly.
EDIT: Dammit, Frank! You beat me to it!
I think the following quote from Cracked's "9 Most Badass Bible Verses" sums it up nicely:
'Or, perhaps "donkey's jawbone" was mistranslated from the original Hebrew word for "minigun."'
http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html
(Check out #2)
Well, there's this one level in Dynasty Warriors where you can kill over 1,200 warriors and six warlords. Some of the characters use feather fans for weapons. Killing 1,200 men with FEATHER FANS! And it's based on history, so it can't be far-fetched at all! In your face, Samson!
"Well if you look to Judges 15, Samson actually defeated 1,000 with a jawbone. I don't consider that farfetched."
Well, not if he was wailing on children it isn't.
I always thought Samson was something like a berserk; his rages are described that way, as something fearful and divinely inspired. Even for a berserker, though, 1,000 men in one battle would be a bit much!
Meh, that's nothing. Chuck Norris, The Dovahkiin, Yuno Gasai, The Apprentice , The Apprentice , Madoka, Lucy, Gordon Freeman and Link all had higher bodycounts, among others.
Well, if you look to Judges 1:19, God was actually defeated with Iron Chariots. Is that farfetched? That was thousands of years ago.
21st Century. UK: Challenger II. USA: M1 Abrams. France: Leclerc. Germany: Leopard II. Israel: Merkava. Russia: T-90. China: Type 99. North Korea: Pokpung Ho ('Storm').
In the first "Transformers" film, it was discovered by the USAF special forces team (post-Scorponok attack) that high-heat Magnesium saboted rounds could harm Cybertronians. Of course that's Sci-Fi, and therefore 'farfetched'. Question: Why hasn't your 'god' dare show his face round these parts, considering Judges 1:19, and of course how the above modern-day Iron Chariots could fire saboted rounds made of Iron: 'God-Killers'.
Now think: why doesn't God appear to people now , hmmmmmmm?!
Consider that .
Too bad they didn't have iron chariots.
"And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron."
Judges 1:19
...and if you look to Judges 1:19, God was actually defeated with nothing more than Iron Chariots.
I guess with all the M-1 Abrams in the US, Leclercs in France, Leopard IIs in Germany, Merkavas in Israel [/Iron y], T-90s in Russia, Type 99s in China & Pokpung Ho's in North Korea, I guess that's why he daren't show his face round these parts these days, eh? Especiall in my neck of the woods; where the modern-day Iron Chariot was invented in WWI, leading up to the 21st Century God-Killers we have today...:
image
...the Challenger II. So indeed, the fact that in Soviet Britain, God fears you isn't that farfetched, eh Gary? And as for all thos older Iron Chariots...:
image
..such as this ex-MoD Abbot Self-Propelled Gun & who owns it, why, the fact that same-sex marriage became legal here in the UK recently - and nothing's been done to us, least of all LGBT people in the UK, such as those on said pink Iron Chariot in London (where even all military vehicles are exempt from the Congestion Charge there) - makes even the concept of your 'God' farfetched, eh...?! >:D
“Well if you look to Judges 15, Samson actually defeated 1,000 with a jawbone. I don't consider that farfetched.”
It’s not farfetched, it’s PREPOSTEROUS.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
