Thoughts while shaving: Seen on a bumper sticker: "God said it, I believe it, that settles it"! Wrong! It should read! "God said it, that settles it, whether I believe it or not"! God describes homosexuality as an abomination in His sight! Consider this: In a day when an ice cream cone is described as "awesome", what word or words are left to describe God? Most doctrinally sound theologians agree! We are privileged to live in a time referred to prophetically as "the last days", signs indicating the "beginning of sorrows", accompanied by "perilous times to come" clearly evident in a fallen post-Christian, post-Constitutional America! Sum of the matter? Even So! Come Lord Jesus! Period! End Report!
31 comments
It should read! "God said it, that settles it, whether I believe it or not"!
You might want to go read what god said about shaving. Hint, its in the same book that mentions homosexuality.
Why are you ignoring gods word?!
Most doctrinally sound theologians agree!
Also, five out of four dentists!
And let me guess, “doctrinally sound” is identical with “agreeing with you”, isn’t it?
We are privileged to live in a time referred to prophetically as "the last days"
As is everyone else who's lived during the last 2,000 years.
Actually, really, really, really good ice cream is awesome, it's all realitive and often based on how much one is jonesing something. If you were a English purist or professor I'd understand your demand for precision of use.
But you're not. I'm certainly not taking any heed to the word redefinition or "we invented English with the King James Bible" crowd. After all, Y'all endtimers have totally corrupted the word rapture, ask some REAL Bible scholars about that.
"God said it, that settles it, whether I believe it or not"
This is why I believe that religion is terribly close to fascism. God is the ultimate fascist dictator and doesn't allow any dissent among his subjects.
Thoughts while shaving
I too have weird thoughts sometimes right after waking up drowsy and trying my best to get on with the day despite the fact that I'd rather be in my nice, warm bed. Generally, though, I tend to let them go as soon as I'm awake enough and I definitely don't post them all over the internet.
In a day when an ice cream cone is described as "awesome", what word or words are left to describe God?
Dickhead, tyrant, imaginary, cruel, vindictive, back-stabbing (just ask Job and Esau), kid-murdering, puppy-drowning, malicious, petty, prideful, arrogant, mean-spirited, genocidal, psychopathic, stalkerish, voyeuristic, petulant, I'll stop now because I could go on for weeks.
The uncanny ghoul that the press are referring to as 'The Thing in the Mirror' has struck again. It appears to be concentrating its attacks on insane shavers.
Police are theorizing that the monster is on an unintelligence gathering mission and have warned unsuspecting shavers, particularly if insane, not to feel compelled to report to it on human affairs.
Hmmm, reasons to call an Ice cream cone awesome
1: they are delicious
2: they exist
3: they are EXTREMELY delicious
4: I've never seen Ice cream purposefully harm someone for not worshipping it
Reasons to call god awesome:
Nope I got nothing
In a book which describes shellfish as an "abomination", you can find a lot of garbage.
And what's with all the exclamation marks? Getting a little excited talking about teh ghey?
May your words "the last days" forever be immortalized. That way my great great grand children can learn about the folly of end times prophecy. Here's a hint, for the first couple hundred years after Jesus died, his followers were absolutely convinced that they were going to see the end of the world. Here you are 2000 years later, still saying "any minute now".
Ice CREEEAAMMM tastes good in the afternoon... image literal ice cream! *heh heh heh*
"God said it, that settles it, whether I believe it or not".
So you don't really believe the word of God then...
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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