Bro Randy #fundie

Bro Randy #fundie teens-4-christ.org

(I was reading through parts of my KJV bible today (I regularly switch between KJV, NKJV, NASB, and NIV) and I noticed that it mentioned a unicorn (Numbers 23:22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.) I thought that was a little strange so I went on Biblegateway.com and looked up more verses with animals. Here are some of the ones I found:

Isaish 13:21But wild beasts of the desert shall lie there; and their houses shall be full of doleful creatures; and owls shall dwell there, and satyrs shall dance there 22And the wild beasts of the islands shall cry in their desolate houses, and dragons in their pleasant palaces: and her time is near to come, and her days shall not be prolonged.

umm so the last time I checked dragons, satyrs, and unicorns didn't exist. Do you think the Bible is refering to mythical creatures, that it is speaking of real animals, or that the translation meant something different when it was written? )

Many animals, including dinosaurs, existed before the flood. Noah did not have room to take each animal onto the ark, he only took two of each kind. After the flood, I am sure God superintended in a miracle which helped the animals divirsify and produce the many different animals we see today.

When you think about it, which would you rather be on a boat with: a pair of twenty-foot tall dinos or a pair of six inch geckos?

51 comments

old comment by Papabear

"(I was reading through parts of my KJV bible today (I regularly switch between KJV, NKJV, NASB, and NIV)"
But, Bro.R., it's in the T4C rules that one is only to use the KJV. "and I noticed that it mentioned a unicorn (Numbers 23:22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.)" Woohoo! The omnipotent God is only as powerful as a horny horse! Yea! God! "I thought that was a little strange so I went on Biblegateway.com and looked up more verses with animals. Here are some of the ones I found: Isaish 13:21But wild beasts of the desert shall lie there; and their houses shall be full of doleful creatures; and owls shall dwell there, and satyrs shall dance there 22And the wild beasts of the islands shall cry in their desolate houses, and dragons in their pleasant palaces: and her time is near to come, and her days shall not be prolonged." Yup, different versions of the Bible mention all manner of fictional and non-fictional creatures; basilliks in the MT, unicorns and dragons in the KJV though those dragons are reduced to jackals in the NIV. As well as being full of shit, the authors of the Bible had vivid imaginations. "umm so the last time I checked dragons, satyrs, and unicorns didn't exist." Good for you, BR, you have admitted that the Bible is not entirely true. That's a good start. "Do you think the Bible is refering to mythical creatures, that it is speaking of real animals, or that the translation meant something different when it was written? )" It's the dribblings of ignorant, yet imaginative desert tribesmen, nothing more. "Many animals, including dinosaurs, existed before the flood." There was no flood such as the one described in the Bible. "Noah did not have room to take each animal onto the ark, he only took two of each kind." Noah didn't exist. Even if you allow for your arbitrary reduction of "Noah's" cargo, he still wouldn't have had enough room for all the animals, feed and water in that stuffy 3-decked barge with only one little window. "After the flood, I am sure God superintended in a miracle which helped the animals divirsify and produce the many different animals we see today." So, you accept evolution, but you contend that all lixards evolved from a single type of lizard and all deer evolved from a single type of deer, AND you contend that all this evolution happened in a few thousand years? You really are a stupid piece of work, aren't you? "When you think about it, which would you rather be on a boat with: a pair of twenty-foot tall dinos or a pair of six inch geckos?" When you think about it, it's patently absurd.

old comment by Sandman

OK, first, the Bible does not say Noah took 2 of each animal, so your Biblical knowledge is suspect to begin with. The Bible states that he was instructed to take 2 of each unclean animal (meaning not acceptable for sacrifice) and 7 of each clean animal (meaning, of course, that it is acceptable for sacrifice). If he didn't take more than 2 of the clean animals, when God commanded him to offer sacrifices of thanks at the end of the flood, those species would have been made extinct, wouldn't they...? "Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female. Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth." (Genesis 7:1-2 KJV)
Secondly, the Bible says he took either 2 or 7 of every kind of animal. "And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female. Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive." (Genesis 6: 19-20 KJV) Even a simple scan of the actual Biblical story you are referring to would reveal those statements; frankly it's not that long of a tale. Say what you like about Jim Jones and David Koresh, but at least they actually bothered to develop a full and complete knowledge of the book they were twisting to control their cults. Until you do that, Randy, yer never gonna be in their league. And for that, we thank you.

old comment by lynx

"One of the problems I have with Noah's Ark has to do with the number of elephant,hippo and rhino species present at the time 4,000 years ago.
Today we have 3 elephants,2 hippos, and 5 rhinos. Here's how many species were present back then. 9 elephant species. 4 to 5 hippo species. possibly six rhino species. of these species, 12 were between one ton and 10 tons in weight, and they needed a _lot_ of food.Do the math... " Don't forget megalodons, they were in there too...XD (If unicorns are in there, then this "pre-historic, extinct creature" must be in there as well!) From Wikipedia.org: The best-educated estimates of this creature's maximum size ranges from 12 to 16 m (40 to 52 ft) (previous much larger reconstructions of the shark's size, up to about 30 m (100 ft), are now generally considered inaccurate). From the size of this shark, its weight is estimated as high as 60 tons, though 20 to 30 tons was more likely. Assuming similar metabolic-weight ratios as the great white shark, it is estimated that a large megalodon would need to eat about one-fiftieth of its weight of food on average per day. From our knowledge of the food chain during megalodon's existence, it is generally believed that this shark's diet consisted mostly of whales, along with large fish and primitive pinnipeds and sirenians. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megalodon

old comment by Sandman

Some buddies of mine in University on a lark decided to work out the actual details of a supposed "real" Noah's Ark. (Math geeks, what can you do about them?) They concluded after 5 semesters of fiddling with it on weekends and such that for Noah to follow God's instructions, with space for all the animals, food, potable water, etc., Noah would have needed an Ark aproximately 4 miles long and a 1/2 mile wide. Working by hand, with the tools available at the time, with 10 people working in shifts, would likely have taken (this was estimated by Duncan's da, who was a professional shipwirght and carpenter) 10-12 years of non-stop labor, not including the time needed to gather raw materials.
Frankly, Noah's Ark is probably the most unlikely story recounted in the Bible. Giants and the Red Sea parting are more likely. Hell, Bush admitting that Iraq was a bad idea is more likely.