Hello all! How to discribe myself. Well, I am a charasmatic christian with a severe hatred for witchcraft.
I lost my wife in a conflict with a woman that was a high preistess of goddess worship. Before the conflict was over, 70+ people were sent to prison where many of them died. An addition 30+ individuals were dishonorably discharged from the Air Force.
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Yes people, it's true. In fact, this conflict did not end until the secret leader of the 'goddess worship', Adolf Hitler, was stopped by Joseph Stalin himself in an epic duel!
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And then of course, the next contestant on that reality show he's auditioning for has to be that same high priestess, and the next contestant an aspiring rapper, the next a woman in pants... and the smarmy host is the ghost of John Lennon.
And then of course, the next contestant on that reality show he's auditioning for has to be that same high priestess, and the next contestant an aspiring rapper, the next a woman in pants... and the smarmy host is the ghost of John Lennon.
Damn, that sounds awesome.
Did the High Priestess scream, "Not my daughter, you bitch!" at you while she was casting a spell?
Okay, I'm going to need some photographic proof of your story.
Actually, I'll take your word that you got into "epic" fights with your Air Force buddies who made fun over the fact your hot wife left you for an equally hot, godess worshipping babe because you couldn't satisfy her. I'll even buy your implication that you were section-8'ed out of the service because of your constant attacks on your mates.
But I do--really, really do--need photographic evidence of that wild babe-on-babe action that, if what you say is true, your ex-wife is currently engaged in.
Thanks in advance.
Um, if that had happened, seriously, I'm fairly positive I would've heard about it at some point in my life.
Are you sure you lost your wife, because of witchcraft and not because you were fucking around?:
I am currently trying to locate my lost sons. I have four sons by four different women out there somewhere. There is only about a four month difference between the oldest and the youngest. They should be about 18 at the time of this writing.
I suppressed the memories of that time in my life for so long that I can't remember any of the girls maiden or married names. Because I can't remember the last names, I haven't been able to track them down.
Funny how you can remember that whole witchcraft story, but you can't even remember the names of your sons mothers.
I smell a lot of bullshit.
I get the impression that the above is the start of some thirteen-yo boy's "erotic" fiction where they are akin to Chuck Norris in their fighting and fucking prowess, going through women like they run through their enemies' armies.
"Making Shit Up for Jesus" Award.
Though I doubt your story, I doubt it was as catastrophic as the submarine that went through three captains in less than a year. One was sleeping with an enlisted man's wife and when enlisted man found out, captain threatened his life. Second one got the HIV and declined to tell anyone how. Third one, well, he was a douche. And I never heard any coverage of that story.
[Hello all!]
Hello adam. It's nice to meet you. Please tell us about yourself.
[Well, I am a charasmatic christian with a severe hatred for witchcraft.]
I see...
[I lost my wife in a conflict with a woman that was a high preistess of goddess worship.]
Uh-huh...
[Before the conflict was over, 70+ people were sent to prison where many of them died.]
Bullshit.
[An addition 30+ individuals were dishonorably discharged from the Air Force.]
More bullshit.
You're a liar, adam. Are you sure your wife didn't leave you because you're full of shit?
"I lost my wife in a conflict with a woman that was a high preistess of goddess worship. Before the conflict was over, 70+ people were sent to prison where many of them died. An addition 30+ individuals were dishonorably discharged from the Air Force."
"And then the dam broke, releasing a massive flood!
And then the cavalry came to the rescue! -- but they were a little too late. (*glub, glub, glub*)
And then the volcano erupted, pouring lava over everything in sight!!
And then the price of foodstuffs skyrocketed!!!1!!
There was nothing left for the Scarlet Pumpernickel to do but blow his brains out -- which he did.
(*BLAM!*)
It's getting so you have to kill yourself to sell a story around here!"
You fathered four children in three months with four different women, but you don't remember the names of the women, so you need someone to look on a bronze plaque on a mausoleum in California?
Really, this quote is only the beginning. The whole page is highly recommended.
I think that you lost your wife to a bottle of whiskey, when you imagined that incredible event and fucked a whore in the bar, breaking your holy vows of marriage. I think, judging the rest of your post.
1. I can't believe that no commenters here knew that Charismatic Christian is a religious sect, and the name charismatic come from Greek "divinely conferred" and not the later use "charming." If you're not educated about things before you make fun of them, you're just as bad as the fundies.
2. I'm disappointed the page is down now so I can't read some bizarre fiction/delusions. There's always something subtle but powerful to actual fictional beliefs that conscious, willful creativity lacks.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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