I got lucky and had 2 rapture dreams the other night. in the first one, i yelled out loud,' "Jesus!"
They are the best dreams ever!
91 comments
I got lucky and had 2 orgasms the other night. in the first one, i yelled out loud, '"Jesus!"
I've seen so much on that website that shows they're channeling sexual frustration towards reading the bible and the rapture. If they're that frustrated, how the hell are they breeding?
First one to 10 rapture dreams gets a romantic dinner with Jesus!
No, Espinoza, not Christ, Christ's been dead for 2008 years.
He died so bad, he died TWICE !
As I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
And if the world should die before I wake,
Send me the DVD highlights, for goodness sake!
Sweet dreams son
Thanks mom. There'll be rivers of blood, and bodies being torn asunder and a gnashing of teeth and diabolical wailing, and the suffering, the eternal suffering! Mwaaahaahaaaa!
My favourite dream ever was one where I was a tropical fish. It was sort of like a flying dream, but weirder.
A dream that involved a third of the worlds population being torn apart by demons is more of a nightmare.
@Level10: I have 2 that might beat that.
1. I had to save the earth from an army of aliens who had ensleved it. Also, the aliens were skeletons and their one weakness was being hit with a nerf vortex (which caused them to explode somehow).
2:In another one I had to rescue the Red Hot Chili Peppers from Mordor, and I did, but the king of the ring-wraiths confronted me but i was saved by the sudden appearance of Jimi Hendrix, who defeated the Lord of The Nazgul, in a guitar-off.
What a co-inky-dink. I yelled out "Jesus" last night, too, as the Mr. simultaneously yelled out "Oh God." And we weren't asleep.
Seems raptureshoes wasn't the only one who "got lucky."
Rofl. Doesn't this guy know that wet dreams are frowned on in his cult?
Also, would his name just mean that his shoes will one day just vanish?
SO that what next door neighbors were doing in the bedroom the other night. They were dreaming of being saved ,cause I must of Heard him and her yelling out at least 5 time Jesus Mary Joesph I'm coming good god lord I'M coming to I m coming to ..
And she was saying lord don't stop lord don't stop now .god dam Jesus Christ don't you dare stop now .yes yes yes .god yes I'M coming to I'm coming to . god I'm coming now... .
You should stop getting lucky. Fornication is a sin. You shouldn't be yelling out, "Jesus". That's taking the Lord's name in vain, which is also a sin.
You're not a real christian. You're a liberal. You're a Darwinistic Satanist. You're probably a Catholic Muslim too.
"I got lucky and had 2 rapture dreams the other night. in the first one, i yelled out loud,' "Jesus!""
This is pathetic. When you start dreaming about mythological figures you're spending too much time with your head in your book of fables.
"They are the best dreams ever!"
Obviously you've never had an erotic dream. Though I bet if you did, Jesus would be in it.
I had a nightmare last night about a riot that gave me the same thing.
Normally when I holler "Jesus!" in bed, though, it feels like the rapture.
Oh, I could be so immature and joke about the repressed sexuality of...er, raptureshoes.
I could say that he had to throw his jammies in the wash because it was sticky with his 'rapture'.
I could say that I must be one of the 'saved' because not only do I say 'Jesus' during 'rapture dreams' I also say it during 'rapturous' moments while I'm awake.
I could joke, but I'm above that.
^_^
I do have to agree with raptureshoes on one thing...wet dreams rock! ^^
While I can only assume that the name is meant to be a contraction of Rapture Shoes, given the context, one can only wonder if there's some Freudian significance in the fact they could equally be calling themselves Rapture's Hoes.
@BlackMageJ and other 'shoes' references.
I think it is a reference to being sucked out of their shoes when the rapture comes.
Not completely sure but the thought of the things I would have to read to research this means I am willing to leave this as a guess.
I had a dream last night that my daughter was sitting in my lap (sort of on her knees facing me, really), and started to fall backwards off the chair. I reached out to catch her...
...and, in real life, smacked my sleeping hubby dead in the face.
It was pretty damned funny at 3 am. And it's still funny now at 2 pm.
He didn't remember it this morning when I mentioned it. I just told him he probably deserved it for something. Poor guy. :)
After I saw the Transformers movie, I had a dream that my World of Warcraft Horde character was an Autobot, and that all the Alliance players were Decepticons.
I could tell it was a dream, though, because I kept on winning every PvP match-up, even when I was outnumbered.
All i read was "I got lucky", "...dreams..." and "...Yelled out loud 'jesus'!".
... I've had dreams like that too. :)
Sounds like St Teresa, who dreamed that a handsome young sngel appeared beside he while she was sleeping and plunged a gloden spear into her heart and entrails which left her:m
"all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God"
Sounds like a wet dream to me!
I once had a weird dream after a day of listening to talk radio and watching Al Pacino movies. Rush Limbaugh was dressed as Scarface and OD'ed on top of a huge mountain of blow.
I remember waking up and saying aloud, "Jesus...!"
Damn, I wish I had these dreams. There's a couple of girls in my salsa class who...
...rapturous indeed. mmm.
Seriously though, do these pillocks even know that 'rapture' means intense pleasure or fascination? And why is it that almost all the RR quotes we get on here are stuffed with unintentional sexual innuendos? They have to be aware of at least some of this stuff, surely.
In fairness, in these guys' idea of "being raptured" they get to go to ultimate paradise for all of eternity, so one would think it would still be a pretty good dream even if you weren't a fundie nutjob.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.