I remember one time, I was laying on my board, riding in wave after wave, completely oblivious to everything but the wave I was riding in on. Then...WHAM! My foot hits a seashell and cuts wide open. I could barely walk for a week, it hurt so bad. Man, did that ruin the vacation.
Are you ready to have a "seashell moment" There can definitely be days that we think are boring, but rest assured, God is working behind the scenes, and for all we know, he might just send a "seashell" along the way to remind us that He's still God, and He's still got big plans for you and your life! Who knows? God is like that sometimes, and that's what makes Him such an awesome God to serve!!!
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Every now and then, apparently, God has to give you a good slug upside the head, just to make sure you were paying attention. God sounds like somebody's crotchety old grandfather.
@Jacob Syne
God is some kind of shellfish?
There can definitely be days that we think are boring, but rest assured, God is working behind the scenes, and for all we know, he might just send a "seashell" along the way to remind us that He's still God, and He's still got big plans for you and your life! He'll hurt you just to remind you of him? Seriously, that's fucked up.Yes, you think, she was no longer focused of my love. This will help her remember that I have big plans for her.
God is like that sometimes, and that's what makes Him such an awesome God to serve!!! I imagine you'd be enchanted by a shiny nickel. Look at what you're marveling at: a magic-delivered reminder . If we're to believe your holy book, Satan can do this as well. Is Satan an awesome god?
So if I walk up to you and whack you with a clue-by-four, you'll bow down and worship me?
I'd say God's best seashell moment this year was making the small bomblets in cluster bombs exactly the same colour and size as military food parcels and have them dropped in the same areas and making sure 30% of the bomblets don't explode on impact.
Yeah that day my wife was driving and was broadsided by a pickup who blew through a stopsign was really evidence of god.
So, you have an accident and God provokes it to say, hello, I´m here?. Your life must be a ruin, man.
Now, see, if Gawd really, really loved you, Marshall, he would have sent a great white to bite your entire foot off. Hobbling around on crutches for the rest of your life would ensure that you never neglected Gawd ever again.
Wait, so you're saying that time someone managed to steal 259 bucks out of my bank account WASN'T some internet geek dick-head at all, but GOD?
I remember one time I was riding my horse, and he slipped in some mud and fell on me and broke my leg. And then there was that time I got a concussion and had to spend hours in the ER. And when I was a baby, I had fever convulsions that required a tonsillectomy at the age of two. Then, at four, it was discovered I'm allergic to fuck-nigh everything under the sun, so I took shots for ten years. God is awesome!
Machine translations are imperfect. Single-tired-person translations may be equally flawed. Fundiebabble-to-English translator now engaged.
"Apparently today, God is an ocean current."
Huh, didn't know he'd taken up interpretive dance.
If God was fond of cutting people's feet with seashells in ocean water, I would seriously question why anybody would worship him. Satan seems pretty cool and he has a nice summer home. It is a little hot, but other than that, it is perfect.
The moral of this story is: Don't surf. [/Col. Kilgore] X3
...or at least do so in an aquatic centre with a wave generator.
Me - when I deign to go on the beach at, say, Scarborough, Bridlington or Withernsea (I mostly frequent the souvenir shops & especially the arcades) - the most I do is take my shoes & socks off and have a paddle in the sea (especially if it's really hot); only a foot or so beyond the tide line.
Otherwise, I never enter a body of water that isn't surrounded by tiles. At least you won't encounter such hazards - or worse - in a swimming pool, nay, your own bath !
So there's your 'analogy' not only invalidated but completely annihilated by Smartarse-fu.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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