This festival seemed pretty good though. The first couple singers were great, a couple of them even made a nice Christian speech-- I was really impressed! Then all of a sudden I saw a new band setting up. I saw an electric guitar and immediately thought "uh-oh!"
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Oh yeah, electric guitars, right up there with guns and machetes and nuclear bombs and other tools of death and destruction. FEAR THE ELECTRIC GUITAR!
Electric guitar gets run over by a car on the highway
Oh no, not an electric guitar! Those evil bastards! Don't they know that electric guitars are actually made from chunks of Jesus' exploded home planet, and that they suck all the magic power right out of him? Prolonged exposure might even kill him, and where would the world be without our pretty, robe-wearing superhero?
Oh noes not the electric guitar! Anything but the electric guitar! I heard when you play electric guitars, satan comes out of the speakers to get you!
For it is written, in the epistles of Les Paul, that thou shalt fear the Fender, and guard against the Gibson, for as Woody Guthrie so very nearly wrote on his (admittedly acoustic) guitar 'This Machine Kills Fuckwits'.
Does anybody here wonder, as I do, what would have happened had Romans 6:23 attended a concert of the music of Edgard Varese, Iannis Xenakis or Frank Zappa?
That´s the problem with fundies. If it´s a guitar, the classical instrument, no prob. If it has a modern touch, it´s the Devil. It´s the same speech since the nineteen century.
Hey Romans, this will rock your world. The electric guitar is JUST AN INSTRUMENT. Far out, I know. It's just like a normal guitar, but the resonance box is replaced with an electrified coil pick-up. It's a fucking musical instrument, not a Magnum .44, you pinhead.
And it came to pass that there was an eleventh commandment, although the children of Israel did not heed it for they were confused: it did dweleth upon that which they new not and also, it was the eleventh of ten commandments. And so the twelve tribes of Israel chose to ignore the sacred commandment which spake thusly: Thous shalt not electrify thy instrument. It shall not be amplified, nor distorted.
Are Electric Guitars Evil?image
No
Is The guitarist evil?
image
posibly
Is God Evil?
Yes:
He suposedly Created the world, he suposedly gave everyone free will but he flooded the world because everyone wasnt doing what he wanted them to do. Free will in the eyes of god is Worship me or die. God is a sadistic child standing over an anthill with a magnifying glass or a bucket of water and we are the ants
Geez, would it make a difference if it was an acoustic with an amplifier?
Probably not...
evolution:
Of course they do. They wake him up when he's trying to sleep.
They realized the people were getting bored and leaving, so someone said, "Hey dude, its time we resurrect this party!"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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