Have you told God that you’re willing to do anything He asks? Have you eagerly invited Him to use you in wild and crazy ways? Have you asked to be one of His radical front liners? Know that God is thrilled when we come to Him with a sincere desire to please Him, and His pleasure is not at all lessened if we instantly panic the moment He takes us up on our invitation. Remember that in the end, it will be just you and God looking back over your earthly life. In that moment, how well you served Him will be all you care about.
27 comments
@ anothga
Or we could play the word game and substitute God with something else, like 'your boss', 'your teacher', 'your pastor', 'Allah' (like creativerealms says), 'Edward Cullen', 'Cliff Richard', 'Anton from FSTDT', 'Marjan Siklic' etc.
Scary, when you think of people who hear voices in their head, and the Anna says "Do the crazy things that 'God' tells you." Oh God must want me to shoot up this school yard, no matter how crazy it sounds
@midnightcyn, Fifty Shades of God?
My tea came out my nose upon reading that. Owwww .
But what a perfectly fitting comment.
Anna, would you kindly cease reminding me of a time in my life I was so terrified of displeasing someone who could never actually be pleased that I ripped out my own toenails just because he told me to?
If there is a living person that made you feel this way then for the love of the God you made them out to be just tell somebody and end this madness!
"Know that God is thrilled when we come to Him with a sincere desire to please Him, "
And know that local law enforcement is thrilled to lock you up with a sincere desire desire to remove you from the general population, for life if need be, if you follow what's in the bible.
Have you said OK to God drilling you in the keister? Dripping hot wax on your nipples? Wearing a leather corset to church because god, you know, likes to peak? Invited God up to your apartment at 2:00am? Named a sex toy Mary's Little Helper?
No? Then how can you be sure you're really "serving" (he he!) da Lawd?
I LOVE YOU ANNA!
also What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
"Remember that in the end, it will be just you and God looking back over your earthly life. In that moment, how well you served Him will be all you care about."
You couldn't go one post without bringing up a subtle threat could you?
@Anton
"This whole business of building up a concept of a god by analogy with human mental events is delusional"
http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=106237&Page=1#1761745
@Anton
"Christianity is essentially right in encouraging people to repent their sins"
The only analogy here is you = Janus. Or Harvey Dent: Two-Faced.
*bends over*
Oh yeah, God, I'll do anything you ask, baby, mmmm yes, use me daddy, use me in wild and crazy ways... ohhh yes, show me your radical front line Sky Daddy, oh Sky daddy is so thrilled when I cum to him with a sincere desire to please Him, mmmm yes, I can't have his pleasure lessened by my panic.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.