David J. Stewart #fundie lovethetruth.com

I grew up in Chicago (Logan Square) in the heart of the big city. I used to hunt Super Rats (as big as a cat) in the alley with my Daisy BB gun rifle, and I thought that was fun. In Heaven I want to go bear hunting! That sounds so cool! In July of 2016 an armed 38-year-old career law enforcement officer was knocked off his bicycle and mauled to death by a hungry grizzly bear in Montana! Neo-evangelical preachers go deer hunting, but fundamentalists go bear hunting! Amen! I'm just kidding about that last statement. I love a Baptist preacher who hunts bears! That's my kind of man's man preacher! I remember seeing the 1976 movie “Grizzly” as a kid, and I've had a healthy fear of bears ever since! That reminds me of a joke that I heard years ago. On the way home from church, two teenage boys see a big roaring grizzly bear and one boy starts changing footwear to put on his running shoes. The other boy says, “Do you really think you can outrun that bear?” His friend replies, “I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!” Amen! So always wear good running shoes if you're in bear country!

28 comments

Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register. Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.