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You’re looking at an archive of the most hilarious, bizarre, ignorant, bigoted, and terrifying quotes from fundies all over the internet.

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Colonel-Knight-Rider #racist fav.me

(The title of the journal entry was “'Be Politically Correct!' Reprise Revised” and is colonel-knight-rider’s reworking of the Be Prepared song from The Lion King.)

[Spoken]

[HYENA MESSENGER]
Scar! Guys! Good news!

[SCAR]
Silence, fool! Can you not see that I’m taking a moment to grieve the loss of my most famous musical number?

[HYENA MESSENGER]
That’s what I was coming to you to talk about! We’re gonna sing our song after all!

[SCAR]
Oh? Do go on.

[HYENA MESSENGER]
Yeah, but…uh…the vocals and lyrics are reworked to sound all shouty and scary and psycho. So, it might not capture the spirit of the original. It’s also a lot shorter.

[SCAR]
[Pauses]
Very honestly, I’m not sure what to make of that. It certainly sounds intimidating, but is it worthy of my original piece, especially when the new me lacks the human facial characteristics?

[2019 SCAR]
You’re just saying that because my voice actor is black, aren’t you, RACIST? Now, give me my privilege!

[SCAR]
*Gah!* What are you even doing here, Reboot Me?! I thought you were above getting triggered like social justice warriors. The problem isn’t the voice actors. It’s the realism. The very disturbing near-shot-for-shot reshoots of classic scenes with too much realism and not enough colorful facial expressions, body language, or other ways of expressing human emotion.

[SHENZI]
Yeah! And your hyenas ain’t even a little funny!

[BANZAI]
Get out before we eat you alive!

[Singing]

[SCAR]
It’s time Favreau came to his senses!
“Be Prepared” will receive an encore!
But, as per the audience consensus,
The Uncanny Valley’s in store.

[HYENAS]
Amid all the feuding and rages,
There’s one thing we do know for sure:
O.G. Disney lasts through the ages!
Live action remakes don’t endure.

[SCAR]
So, prep—

[2019 SCAR]
2-D films are yesterday’s message!
A clapped-out, distracted regime
Whose failings undoubtedly presage
The need for a different dream!

[SCAR]
*Hah!* You just plagiarized your own thesis,
Which now shows how lazy you are!

[HYENAS]
Like your film!

[SCAR]
I don’t care how lifelike your face is.
YOU’LL NEVER OUTWIT CLASSIC SCAR!!!

Still, prepare for a dark age for Disney.
Be prepared for the brand’s suicide.

[HYENA #1]
I heard they’ve for sure made
A black Little Mer—

[HYENA #2]
If we don’t spill details,
It might increase gross sales!

[HYENAS]
Our lack of emotion
Will lead to commotion!

[SCAR]
The Disney we once loved has died!

[ALL (–2019 SCAR)]
SJWs won’t leave us spared.
Be prepared!

[HYENAS]
SJWs won’t leave us spared.

[SCAR]
Be prepared!

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Colonel-Knight-Rider #homophobia fav.me

[Parts of CNR’s journal included extra information just about the project they were working on. I edited those out for (relative) brevity’s sake.]

Back in January, [name of person who CNR has an issue with], whom I enlisted as Nintendo Cinematic Universe fanfiction project collaborator four years earlier, made a controversial move by attempting to squeeze a gay couple in to the Pokémon movie idea he had planned, but there was no character development reason why they should be gay. The fact that he wanted to include them simply because “other shows are doing it” means he included them solely to follow a trend for diversity points. I refused to allow such a thing, as I do not support (but that doesn’t necessarily mean hate) the LGBTQ+ ideology for secular reasons way more than religious ones. My goal was to protect the innocence of children, who, from my observation, don’t even know what that sort of thing means until it’s taught to them in schools (in contrast to heterosexual relationships, which they are naturally aware of as part of our survival instinct). You, the reader, have every right to disagree, and I respect your right to your point of view. But all I ask is for my point of view to have some respect, too. What some call “homophobia" and "censorship," I call respect for the innocence of youth.

My mother has always said, “If everybody jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, would you?” This is her poetic way of saying, “Don’t do something just because everybody else is doing it. Think for yourself!” This is why I want to stress that Realshow unconsciously admitted riding the bandwagon was his entire motivation for including gay Pokémon. He alluded to the presence of this “inclusivity” in other TV cartoons such as Adventure Time and Steven Universe, believing that we should follow their trend. He called the values I was raised with “wrong” and argued that “Times have changed, and so should you.” He did not understand that, when someone says things like that to me, that person not only insults me, whom he/she has met, but also my entire immediate family, whom he/she hasn’t met. Given the choice between remaining faithful to my family and their virtues and rebelling against them just to make one random stranger I know nothing about happy, I chose the former. Realshow has since adorned his avatar with a rainbow graphic, as you can see—his way of spitting in my face.

That aside, remember: if I really did hate gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders, etc., I would have sooner barred them all from watching me, but I haven’t and never will.

Seriously, though—he says he doesn't want to reopen any old wounds, but one of his hashtags is "not homophobic." It's hysterical.

Anyway, after realizing he had blocked me because of our gay Pokémon argument, I felt the urge to confront him in some way. Impulsively, I evaded his block with an alternate account to call out his behavior, leading to my one-day suspension.

Let’s face the facts: 2019 hasn’t been an easy year for me so far on DeviantArt. I’ve failed to get DA’s support staff to do anything about a smear campaign digging up my past about decisions I regret making on other forums (hence my “Vengeful Heckler” comics). I’ve mistaken an agnostic for a militant atheist bigoted against Christians, not realizing she adopted one of us as her figurative brother. And my efforts to end a toxic friendship and to put a project on pause indefinitely resulted in a five-man revenge journal post. In my church, we teach that things go wrong when people don’t listen to God, and my actions against Realshow’s controversial journal leading to my suspension only proves that.

However, not all hope is lost. As long as I continue to receive inspiration from the wonders of nature, cartoons drawn by my friends, scheduled artistic challenges, and life in general, the Colonel Knight Rider artistic enterprise will continue as happily as it has these past few years. If there’s anything my Internet history proves, it’s that, no matter how many times I get knocked down, I stand up 20 feet taller than before. No one other than God can turn things around for me, so I will listen for His voice.

In the meantime, one question remains. Should I go after this guy for copyright infringement? Or should I just accept that I’m outnumbered five men to one and move forward with what makes me happy?

Thanks for understanding. Keep being awesome, everybody. May you never have to deal with relationships as toxic as some of my past ones have been, and may whatever Pokémon some of you may catch be as asexual as they are in the games!

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writingscifi65 #sexist fav.me

Some artists are beyond Crazy. Some of the kids on here (Under 18, you're a kid) are mentally challenged (and I don't mean like Autistic kids and such, I'll explain further along) when it comes to their apparent sexuality.
Look, I have many Gay friends. None of which are Artists (thank the gods) but even THEY think the kids on this site have lost their (BLEEPIN') minds! Just because you're 13 and can post nearly anonymously on DA that you're a Pansexual, or you're a Lesbian, or a gay boy, you are still just that: A girl or a boy!! Not a Woman or a Man, but still a flippin' kid! You have no idea where or what you'll be doing by the time you turn 18. Yet you feel the need to shout to the (artistic) world here, that you are liberated and free, and want to be accepted by the LGBTQ club?

Kiddies, a word from a wizened old man; GROW THE FUCK UP FIRST! Turn 18, have a REAL Relationship that involves having a Same Sex relationship. Especially you Gay boys out there. The first time you strut your stuff into a gay club, and leave with a swinger who's a few years older than you, will be your REAL wake up call...

Good luck surviving that...

And to you Lesbie girls... The first time you run afoul of a Bull Dyke, and she twists you this way and that, you'll seriously rethink your early teen years, and wonder what the F*** were you thinking??

Just an FYI from a guy with a half century under his belt, and friends from all walks of life...