I don’t think white people / men really have a good conception of what “disrespect” even means when it comes to forums in which women (of colour) are speaking

like it doesn’t matter if you didn’t say anything outright disrespectful. it doesn’t matter what you said at all. opening your mouth in the first place is disrespectful. assuming that your input is necessary or useful when no one asked you is disrespectful. talking when you should be listening is disrespectful.