Welcome to Fundies Say the Darndest Things

You’re looking at an archive of the most hilarious, bizarre, ignorant, bigoted, and terrifying quotes from fundies all over the internet.

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blkmage #fundie infoceptor.com

[on the ambiguous, poetic nature of Biblical prophecies]

It doesn't have to be literal, it just has to be true. Prophecies sometimes aren't literal, but they're still true.

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ghostdude #fundie infoceptor.com

Friends, Atheists, Countrymen: Lend me your ears.
Well, Dr Pangloss, I don't blame your church members for scowling as you come by. Anyone who treats fairy tells and the Koran like the Bible deserves ATLEAST a scowl. I'm 15, so I admit, I don't really know that much. But I do know that the Bible is true, and that every word of it was inspired by God. Every. Single. Word. THe Bible also says that the ONLY way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ. That means there is only one. Jesus Himself talked about Hell. How can you believe anything the Bible says and not believe that. The Bible said that anyone who preaches anything other than what it says is a false prophet. It definitely sounds like you are preaching something different. You said that you read the Koran and the Nag Hammadi texts. Well, the Bible says that Jesus is the only son of God. But the Koran says that Jesus was just a prophet. Obviously one of them is wrong. About the other things you spoke of, I don't even know what the nag hammadi texts are, so I can't say anything about them. In closing, I would like to say that it doesn't matter what you read, or what you believe, or if you think ther'e a Hell or not. There is a Hell, There is a God, and He sent His only son to die for us. If you don't accept that, will rot in Hell. This may seem close minded to some, but it's the truth, whether you want to believe it or not.

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admiralwu #fundie infoceptor.com

[On the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Pledge of Allegiance ruling]

Ok, look, what's going to happen now as a result of this superior court's decision? Eh? Our courts are now going to be flooded with an influx of new lawsuits by wannabe-atheists, or real atheists who just want to get some money. These guys just want attention. What's next? Banning Catholic private schools?

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DietFist #fundie infoceptor.com

Bah! Humanism is a crock anyway! Humanists are just people wanting to feel special by distancing themselves from traditional religions and subdividing and subcatergoring what they are. Its like those try-hard musicians who make really crap music, yet seek to be cool by labelling themselves outside of a typical genre... "We are progressive heavy grindcore power gothic industrial punk!" In a word: Pathetic.