FSTDT

Elizabeth #fundie raisinggodlytomatoes.com

[Raising Godly Tomatoes is a site dedicated to a parental technique they lovingly call tomato staking, which involves keeping your kids isolated from the rest of the world and keeping them at arm's length and under absolute control from birth to at least the age of eighteen. Here, Elizabeth talks about socialization between children.]

"When they (the children) are small it's not much of a problem at all. Just don't put them in nurseries, or make play dates, or send them to pre-school, etc. In my opinion, this goes for most church activities too. We do not send our children to Sunday School, or Jr. Church, or Vacation Bible School, etc. We keep them in church with us when we go. (We are currently home churching with a number of other like-minded families so we don't regularly attend a traditional church.) We don't do this just to keep our kids separate, we really do believe that kids should be worshipping with their parents, not playing (or even worshipping) with their buddies only. Don't start encouraging them to play freely with the neighbor children. Keep them at home with you for the most part and when you feel the urge to socialize, do it as a family with other like minded families. Focus on relatives if possible regardless of whether or not they have children. Your children will benefit far more from a day spent with Grandma, than a day spent with the neighbor kids.

Once they've reached school age you still should not have problems if you homeschool and haven't encouraged friendships and free, unsupervised, socializing with neighbors, etc.. There won't be a problem with them longing for the company of their friends because their friends will be their parents and siblings. I think that is the way it should be.

About neighbors, if you start out letting your children play with the neighbor children it will be hard to break the habit later, especially without offending the neighborhood parents. Don't get started. If your neighbor sends their child over to play, try to be "unavailable" until they lose interest (and they will when they find other friends). I'd recommend being friendly to all neighbors, but don't become close friends unless they share your views on the matter of homeschooling and socializing.

Even if you find a group of people who all homeschool and all have no TV and all have similar beliefs, etc. it is still not wise to let your children socialize too much, even as teens, maybe I should say "especially as teens".

[I can only hope that this is a joke, elaborate for its own sake.]

Elizabeth #fundie raisinggodlytomatoes.com

Three Types of Spanking

Now that I've criticized several common approaches to spanking, I'd like to detail the types of spanking I do approve of.

The Training Swat.
This is usually a painless pat with the open hand to the diapered bottom of a little one, to help him make the connection between "no" and what he is doing. It might also be used to ambush an otherwise well-trained child who is just beginning to give in to a temptation. It generally means: "Pay attention, I'm talking to you," or "Stop and do what you know is right." If the child does not respond positively to a little pat, it can be made a bit firmer. One swat should be given at a time with a pause between each, until the child obeys. Take your time, and combine with outlasting and a verbal "no".

The Reminder Swat.
This is usually one firm swat to the clothed bottom of a toddler who is deliberately disobeying. It should be repeated after a pause, if the child continues to refuse to obey. This type of swat can also be used to ambush a child who is doing something he knows not to do, perhaps when he thinks you are not looking. A paddle may be used if the parent prefers, or if it is needed to make a bigger impression. You do not need to spank hard when using a paddle. In fact, much less effort can be used to achieve the same results.

The "I Mean Business" Spanking.
This is usually one to perhaps three stinging swats to the clothed bottom, delivered with a firm hand or a paddle. This type of spanking should be reserved for repeated misbehavior or some serious offense knowingly committed by an older child. The offending child should be required to bend over and place their hands safely out of the way on a chair or counter. If the child refuses to cooperate, the parent should outlast until the child does as he is told. Then one to three swats are given. A lecture and perhaps other discipline measures (like tomato staking) should usually accompany this type of spanking. "I Mean Business" spankings are not for wee ones.

"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."
- Hebrews 12:11 (NAS)