“No means no!”
You’ve heard this before. And you know it ain’t so. Because if you have been doing this a while, you have often heard “no”, and eventually gotten to “yes, please”, and even “harder, daddy”.
So what does “no means no” actually mean?
Well, if you’re the sort of man who gets to “harder, daddy”, you know that women usually say things that aren’t literally true. This is not just about lying… women use language differently.
And the phrase “no means no” is a particularly clever piece of female-language technology. It’s a Rorschach test. You know, that business with the inkblots, where some headshrink whips out a card and some people say it’s a bat and other people say it’s a moth.
It’s neither… it’s a card. None of us use language literally. Keep that in mind as you try to understand women.
So, when men hear “no means no”, they interpret it differently, and that separates them into two categories…. this is exactly what women intend. This kind of language is also known as a “dog whistle” in certain other contexts.
Some men hear “Anytime a woman says no, you should stop forever”. These are men who take “no means no” literally, because they are unable to decode the way women use language.
Other men hear “No means no when I say later that it did. But if you get to ‘yes’, I will never bring this up.” These are the men who can decode woman-speak.
Each of these types of men gets the message that women want them to hear.
They don’t want clueless men who don’t know of the existence of a “soft no” to be ignoring “no”… because then they might ignore a “hard no”, which makes for stalkeriffic behaviour.
But they WANT men who are dialed in to persist in the face of a “soft no”, while stopping in the somewhat more rare occasion of a “hard no”.
So, just like the “soft no” itself, the phrase “no means no” is used to measure a man’s social savvy, and thereby separate the wheat from the chaff.
So, how do different types of man respond to “no means no”?
Your standard Bernie-Sanders-voting bugman takes it literally, agrees enthusiastically, and often goes for years without seeing a naked women in the flesh. These are the guys women want taking this phrase literally.
Your standard PUA type ignores it inside his head, but agrees out loud so as not to be detected. These are the guys women want to ignore this phrase.
Your standard red pill novice realizes it isn’t literally true, gets mad, and calls out the “lie”. These are the guys women are most afraid of… he’s too savvy to miss the lie, but not smooth enough to play along. They are afraid this means big stalker potential.
A fully realized red pill men doesn’t merely ignore it while making the correct noises…. He constructs a dog whistle of his own, using his word choice and behaviour to let women that this isn’t his first rodeo and everything will be alright.
If any of this is news to you, then I’ve just turned you into the third type of guy, and your mission is to turn yourself into the fourth.
Here’s some things to keep in mind:
There are hard and soft “no”s.
Women want you to be able to tell the difference.
But if you can’t, they want to treat them all as hard, because having a hard no treated as a soft one is what they fear most.
They will almost never admit to any of this in literal language, because if any man who can’t tell hears it explained to him, the game stops working and bad things might happen.
Learn to spot the difference.
Getting it right is your responsibility, not hers.
Never try to discuss this openly with women. Just learn to indicate with your actions that you know.
You can sometimes pretend to treat a soft no as a hard one, if you need to overcome ASD, do a freezeout for LMR, or just to play her like a fish on a line. Don’t act butthurt. Big grin.