Welcome to Fundies Say the Darndest Things

You’re looking at an archive of the most hilarious, bizarre, ignorant, bigoted, and terrifying quotes from fundies all over the internet.

Random quoteTop quotesLatest commentsFAQ

Friends of FSTDT: The Brick TestamentThe Church of the Flying Spaghetti MonsterThe Cult Education InstituteDeath of ExpertiseFeministingThe Friendly AtheistMetabunkRationalWikiReligious ToleranceRight Wing WatchThe Skeptic’s Annotated BibleSnopesThe Southern Poverty Law CenterTalk OriginsThink ProgressThe United States Humane SocietyWe Hunted the MammothWonkette
Show post

Baxter Dmitry #conspiracy yournewswire.com

Adele Caught Shapeshifting Into Eight-Foot Reptilian In New Zealand
Adele apologized to fans for scaring them after "shapeshifting into a giant reptilian" during a backstage meet and greet, and explained she would not be able to perform live or tour again until she learns to stop shapeshifting.

Adele “shapeshifted into an eight-foot reptilian” backstage at Auckland’s Mount Smart Stadium after the final concert of her world tour, according to shocked fans and a reporter from the New Zealand Herald.

The ten super fans, invited backstage to meet Adele after her final New Zealand show, got more than they bargained for when the singer “shapeshifted” into a “massive, at least eight or nine feet tall, powerfully built reptilian” with “greenish-grey scales“, to quote one of the witnesses.

Jim Joint, reporting for the New Zealand Herald, wrote that the super fans told him Adele had “flickering reptile eyes with a black stripe down the middle” and “scaly horns and protrusions” all over her body.

“She looked shocked, like she wasn’t prepared for the change,” a witness told the Herald.

Adele fan Jesse Warren also told the Herald that Adele said the shapeshifting is “crippling her” and she “can’t go on” until she learns to stop the reptile inside herself from manifesting itself in public.

“Adele said she won’t be able to perform live or tour again until she learns to control the shapeshifting.”

[Editor’s Note: The screen shots from the New Zealand Herald newspaper article were sent to us by Jesse Warren, an Adele fan who says she was invited backstage. According to Jess, the NZ Herald deleted the article shortly after publication.]

Warning readers to “hold onto their hats”, the New Zealand Herald writer claims that a number of fans who were invited backstage to meet Adele witnessed the British singer “shapeshift into a giant lizard” and then apologize for scaring them, explaining that she meant no harm and is a “good reptilian.”

The New Zealand Herald has not responded to questions asking why they deleted the article from their website, or if they were acting under outside orders.

It would not be the first time a news outlet or social media platform was forced to censor content relating to celebrity reptilian shapeshifting, with Twitter notorious for deleting tweets and shadow banning accounts whenever a celebrity is seen in reptilian form by members of the public.

A report about Justin Bieber being seen by his fans in reptilian form, published by Australian news outlet Perth Today, was deleted on the same day it was published, with experts claiming the newspaper was instructed to delete the article by the global elite.

In January, Caitlyn Jenner was also seen shapeshifting at a restaurant in Malibu, Los Angeles. Twitter erupted with tweets and retweets and #ReptilianCaitlyn entered the top 10 trending topics. However Twitter cracked down on the tweets, claiming they breached the platform’s Hateful Conduct rules, and the trending topic was suppressed.

Music industry reptilian-Illuminati

Jesse Warren told Your News Wire that she and her fellow Adele fans are now convinced that longstanding industry rumours are true: Adele is a member of the reptilian-humanoid race that has infiltrated the music industry Illuminati and are using pop culture to spread their agenda and indoctrinate impressionable young people.

According to historians there have been sightings of reptilians around the world at regular intervals throughout history, however it is widely believed that we are now in a golden age of reptilian sightings. There is a belief that the world is gaining consciousness, waking up, and that the veil is slowly lifting.

Experts are saying that more people than ever before have developed the ability to witness shapeshifting, however two people watching the same scene will not necessarily both be able to discern the shapeshifting reptilian.

It is said that Queen Elizabeth, a high priestess of the dominant reptilian-Illuminati bloodline, is the most commonly sighted shapeshifting reptilian in the world, however sightings of celebrity reptilians, including music industry and Hollywood stars, are becoming more and more common.

(Emphasis original)

Show post

Baxter Dmitry #conspiracy yournewswire.com

The terror attack in Nice was a government orchestrated false flag operation designed to thwart the snowballing citizen uprising, and allow the authorities to impose harsh military measures across the country.

The terror attack in Nice, France could not have come at a more auspicious time for the deeply unpopular President Hollande and his embattled government, leading many to believe this was a false flag government orchestrated attack. The government and authorities have been struggling to control a citizen uprising for the past three months and now they can impose more state of emergency measures, call up military operational reserves, and justify clamping down on any dissidents to thwart the uprising movement.

Not long before the attack happened, French President Hollande said the national state of emergency was to be lifted, so it seems like a strange coincidence for an event to appear right away – on Bastille Day, the country’s national day celebrating the French Revolution in 1789 – allowing the state of emergency to be immediately reinstated, the current revolution to be thwarted, and the New World Order’s march to an authoritarian one world government to continue unimpeded.

Why is France getting attacked? It all started after France said they were going to recognize Palestine as a state, then they started getting odd ‘terror’ events which are used to demonize Muslims. The same happened with Belgium after they started moving in the same direction. Norway also had a mass killing after they sided with Palestine. A a pro-Palestine and anti-Israel political youth organization was attacked, leaving 77 dead.

Show post

Miss.Anne Thropee #conspiracy yournewswire.com

Well, either people can accept the truth that the reality (and FBI paperwork WHICH can be found on the FBI site) that Hitler, and many other noted Nazi officers set up--with some help from the CIA--a nice little mini-Nazi German community in Argentina called Bariloche. The actual 'death' pic was staged, as he was well aware that he was going to end up beside his officers in Nuremberg, so his ever loyal team--whom were masters of propaganda-- made sure that even though their futures were to be ended dangling from a rope, (save for Goering, whom had soldiers sneak in a cyanide tablet, taking his own life.)

Why? Many reasons. Despite the Nazi reality of genocide, and all that jazz, there were many, MANY technological advances that were too important to throw away, especially the scientists, engineers, and doctors that, for all intent and purposes, were quite advanced in many fields that were too important to throw away. Ironic that this arises, now, especially seeing Nazi technology at work with the newest innovation of a 'Flying saucer', was based on actual blueprints and a slight unfinished product that has been being eyed by NASA--now a reality.

As for the way he looks, (yeah, even his ears) If you have forgotten that our features change when we age, and also knowing that many of the Argentinian community were well adept at facial reconstruction, even if it was just enough to change a slight recognition.

And yes, you better believe that The Vatican were involved...