Karen,

The offense was against YOU, and it was a very personal insult directed at you. You have to be the one to control him, ultimately.

Do you do obedience exercises, as a routine thing?

When they take their bath or shower, you should spend some time with them in the bathroom. While they are naked, you should have them do short obedience exercises.

I like to have a continuous series of orders or commands, and my daughter will do some things for as long as two minutes, but no longer. She can stand in the corner in a certain pose, hands on top of her head for example, and I look at a digital clock or wristwatch. When it counts a gap of two minutes, that is between one and two minutes.

I have her doing things that take much less time, also. I spend somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes, while holding a fly-swatter in my hand, or a paddle with her name written on it.

I don't beat her butt severely, very often, because I don't see the need to. But she is routinely getting a single whack on a butt cheek.

I do the same thing at an earlier time of day, with her clothes on. All except her feet. She has to be barefoot for any sort of discipline.

Any kind of resistance, and that butt is bare in a few seconds.

This is NOT "punishment." It's "obedience." A continuous series of commands. Stand this way. Stand that way. Bring this to me. Bring that to me. Stand in the corner. Hold your arms like this.

I get the feeling you don't do regular obedience exercises. Maybe they would be easier to control if you did.