I don't know about the rest of you but sometimes I literally have to force myself to think of something else!
It's like I get so excited about the rapture I think I'm going to jump out of my skin, my heart starts to race, and I cannot concentrate on another thing. For example I will be brushing my teeth and thinking about the brush falling into the sink because we'll be gone. It's as if I have to tell myself, "Calm down Ashley!"
Can't help it but my heart is already there and now I'm wanting my body to join it!
77 comments
Come, Sweet Death
It all returns to nothing
I sometimes feel bad that we make fun of these people. As damn bat shit crazy as they are, they've been brainwashed into this train of thought. It's depressing to see people live their days like this, but hey, that's their gig.
BIG VOICE (me with a megaphone):
The Rapture is right now!
Really?
Yes...AND ONLY MORMONS SHALL ASCEND!
@Nomad,
Yes, there are times when I think FSTDT is just a modern day equivalent of seventeenth century tourists taking a tour around Bedlam to laugh at the lunatics. Then I realize these people have the ear of the most powerful man in the world and it isn't so funny any more.
The likes of RaptureReady should be shown up as the demented idiots they are to as many people as possible with the intention of stopping this mad distemper spreading.
Drink the Kool-Aid.
DO IT!!
Induce the Rapture by following these simple steps:
1)Cease breathing
2)Don't breathe for at least an hour
Between 1-60 minutes of said lack of breathing, you'll be 'Raptured' and leave all us heathens behind...
Or you could just get some help... seriously...
It's called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Seriously, someone getting a Psych PhD should use these guy's for their thesis.
@Pagnostic
"It would suck to be raptured while on the toilet, though."
Technical question: Mid-turd, does it ascend with you to heaven, magically appear intact in the bowl or does chirst pinch it off?
Dear Science, Ashley! Just touch yourself already and get it over with! Sheesh!
image
484093, its not sexist, I agree. I do think that if she got a good fucking regularly she would calm down, or it would guilt trip her and make her little fundie head explode. Either way, its win/win.
Well who doesn't get excited by the thought of a toothbrush falling into a sink?
Oh that's right, absolutely fucking nobody.
This is just fucking depressing.
I mean, I've had my suicidal, wishing-for-death times too, but it's not like the thought of opening up my wrists has ever given me an orgasm!
I always wondered how they could be so jazzed about dying when we have such great things to live for right here on earth. Then I realized - they haven't experienced/seen any of them.
Somehow, that makes it sadder.
Whenever I see these kinds of posts from the Rapture Death Cult Devotees(tm) the same lyric pops into my head...
"Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
They are all depressives, wanting to die, but afraid to take action themselves, so pray that God will kill them.
Tough luck, kiddies. Ain't gonna happen. Now go and see a shrink and get the help you so obviously need.
"How much longer, Lord, shall we wait?"
-_-
I agree with Darth_Toxic. Just depressing. There is a big wide wonderful world around you, Ashley. It contains such things as people (some of which possess penises, which I recommend you make use of as soon as possible), independent thought, the great machineries of the human race, love, good movies, dancing until ridiculous hours of the morning, works of art and literature and music not all aimed at brainwashing you, and Firefly. Experience it.
Seriously.
Egads....at least love-shy isn't a death cult in disguise. Hell, get rid of the anxiety the members feel and I bet quite a few of them are fun to be around. You can't do that with Rapturites - it's like they need anxiety and persecution complexes in order to function and do even the most basic things like get up in the morning.
"How much longer, Lord, shall we wait"
Well, in about 5 billion years the sun will go red giant ....
"How much longer, Lord, shall we wait"
At least another 13 billion years, sucker.
How do people this stupid find food?
And here is the reason why I'm glad I'm an Atheist. Because if this represents the alternative...!
@Nomad
Well, these nutbar fundies know what to do, if they don't want to be pointed & laughed at: don't be loony right-wing fundies; it wouldn't kill them to be Quakers or Unitarian Universalists.
Do you see any quotes here in FSTDT by the latter...? I rest my case.
"How much longer, Lord, shall we wait"
You'll be dead a few billion years, the the sun will go red giant and Earth will be incinerated.
Idiot.
At least five years longer, apparently, and it doesn't seem like it's going to happen any day soon.
Hey, wasn't there some douche who said the Earth would be destroyed today? It looks fine to me; the sun is shining, there's no wind, the snow is melting away.
Tragic obsession.
You should definitely force yourself to think of something else, and keep thinking of something else, then maybe you'd have an actual life and wouldn't be left with nothing but your fantasies to look forward to.
"How much longer, Lord, shall we wait"
Forever. Myths don't do anything. Go find something real to live for.
“I will be brushing my teeth and thinking about the brush falling into the sink because we'll be gone.”
Luke 17:31 says, "On that day, let the one who is on the housetop, with his goods in the house, not come down to take them away, and likewise let the one who is in the field not turn back".
You’ll have a chance to put the toothbrush back in the cup. Drivers will be able to pull over so the car isn’t careening wildly. And true Christain pilots might choose not to go if there’s no one that’ll be able to land the plane safely. You would think you would know this stuff.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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