The news is known to one and all.
I caught Will Chester in the hall,
Removed his pants and tweaked his balls,
So I'm a bold rapista.
Now womens live is a sight to see,
The campus cops run after me,
And Chester and his frinds agree
That I'm a bold rapista.
(based on a true story and that's all I'll say)
It drove poor Chester slightly ape
That women can't be charged with rape.
The cops all stood around agape to find a girl rapista.
Oh William Chester this I'll say,
If you get into the family way,
I'll marry you without delay
For I'm a fair rapista.
The tale went flying round the town
And made sweet Valerie Walker frown.
She called me in and called me down
For being a bold rapista.
She sneered at me for having the hots.
I told her "that isn't all I've got.
I know you've posed for beaver shots,
And I'm a bold rapista."
The judge had trouble holding still.
To keep from laughing his voice was chill
As he asked Chester "did you Bill
Entice the bold rapista?"
Oh judge he wrote that rape was fun,
And grieved that he'd never gotten one.
I thought I'd show him how it's done,
so I'm a bold rapista.
The cops all laughed and wisely cracked
"Bill when you found yourself 'attacked'
Why didn't you then just relax
and enjoy the bold rapista?"
Willy wailed "oh show respect,
I had my virtue to protect.
My virgin reputation's wrecked
All by the bold rapista."
Oh, Willy and sweet Valerie,
I wish you both the sense to see
Just what it means for liberty
That I'm a bold rapista.
Oh men your rule of fear is done.
Now rape can happen to anyone,
And it's your turn to scream and run
Before the bold rapista!
-By Heather Alexander
