Satan has a bloodline. I am writing about this in Reign of Terror.
Also, demons take many shapes. You are not crazy, Charlie. This is real.
People ask how can a loving God kill babies? It is because those babies have the DNA of Satan.
62 comments
I am satan!
Can they ever decide over whether or not Satan is a literal, physics being, or just a metaphor for evil? I would like for them to come to some type of consensus on that. Maybe a peer reviewed Christian Journal?
...wait, that would require them to be rational.
I can just imagine the paternity test results.
'I'm sorry Mr Spuckler, but the DNA tests clearly show young Jim-Bob was fathered by a talking snake'.
"Satan has a bloodline."
Yeah, and his great-great-great-great-...-great grandson is my Dwarf Engineer who survived a Skaven attack by making three 6+ armour saves.
Wait, we're not talking about Warhammer Fantasy? Well, that changes everything.
This contradicts itself. He claims that babies that die have the DNA of Satan. Only way this could be is if the parents themselves somehow have the DNA of Satan and passed it on. If the parents have the DNA of Satan, why didn't God kill them when they were babies? Does God selectively kill babies with Satan's DNA now?
Oh wait, what am I doing? Trying to introduce reason? Silly me.
That's just--- What?
I mean, I always knew babies were annoying little hell-spawn, but... So not all babies are precious gifts from GOD? We can abort those ones, then, right?
Would it be in poor taste to make a dead baby joke here?
What's red, silver, scaly, has wings, and sits in the corner screaming?
A satanic baby with forks in its eyes being summoned from the afterlife.
Vescere bracis meis :
Eat my shorts.
Yeah, you're probably one of the crazies who went off the deep end when the fictional DaVinci Code came out and suggested that Jesus had a blood line.
How do you know that it's not actually satan killing babies? How do you know he isn't killing innocents who have Jesus's DNA?
Admit it, you don't know. You don't have a fucking clue so you make shit up as you go along.
Say what now? Then why didn't god kill Damien eh? Huh Huh?!?!?!?
(for the uninitiated, Damian is the kid's name in "the Omen")
Crap, why do I never get the awesome demon, lizard people, or nephilim bloodlines? I'm just stuck with being a boring, non-conspiracy-satisfying human being.
Why don't you go over to Rapture Ready and inform all the grieving parents over there of your information.
I'm sure since you're all good Christians, they'll appreciate it.
So all the deaths related to SIDS, SUDC, Child Abuse, Genetic Disorders, Childhood Diseases? All these wonderful children deserved to die because they had satanic DNA?
My goodness, this person seriously needs mental help.
(*pats Michael on head *)
Yes, that's right! And "The Da Vinci Code" is a documentary. Now you go back to your Fuzzy Felt Lake O'Fire dear, the adults are talking. And if you're extra good, there'll be a double helping of paste for you.
@Dax
There's now rechargeable Lithium Ion AA batteries available. Just sayin'.
OK, then why does god allow babies to have the DNA of satan?
And now killing babies isn't all that bad?
Also, fuck you!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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