LINDEN, Calif. -- A Stockton, Calif.-area businessman is peddling blessed bottled water.
The half-liter bottles of Holy Drinking Water are being distributed by Wayne Enterprises. They only carry the blessings of Catholic and Anglican priests, but company President Brian Germann plans to expand to other faiths.
He said he thought of the concept last year and has sold about 3,000 bottles since January at a Linden market and on the Internet.
He claimed the idea came to him on June 6, 2006, believed by some to be an ill-fated day because of the three sixes in 6/6/06, a Christian symbol of evil.
The bottles of plain purified water carry a label that warns sinners who drink the water that they may experience burning, intense heat, sweating and skin irritations.
45 comments
We'd better inform Batman so he can put a stop to this!
Also, water with chance of side-effects? anyone else see something severely wrong here? They're basically warning they may have spiked the stuff... and its in their best interest (from a financial "cleanse yourself with more/seperate ultra-holy product", and from a "convert/assimilate" point...) to do so.
I wish I'd have thought of it.
In fact, I've probably had a conversation about this very thing at one time or another. Drunk talk can be fun.
Gee, I hope it doesn't eat me from the inside and I have to sink to the floor screaming, "You little brat! Oh, what a world, what a world!"
This is hilarious, right up there with the church offering cash-machines they put up on one church. No longer does one have to wait for the plate, tithe often!
He speaks truth! I experienced that before, in church. My skin peeled, plumes of steam came out of my ears, and when the pastor came with holy water, its drops burned deep through my skin.
experience burning,intense heat, sweating and skin irritations
PFFF, I get those from going to church. Damn, dirty preachers daughters!
If this doesn't catch on (or even if it does), I think we should start putting a small amount of lithium in the water to help fundamentalists control themselves better.
Besides, wouldn't god disapprove of holy water becoming non-holy urine?
The bottles of plain purified water carry a label that warns sinners who drink the water that they may experience burning, intense heat, sweating and skin irritations."
According to the Bible, everyone is a sinner. Guess he didn't read that part.
Sounds like another way for fundies to feel superior. "I drank the water and it felt cool and refreshing to me. I must be a good person. Bring on the atheists and fags! There's Godly beatings to carry out!"
"company President Brian Germann plans to expand to other faiths."
Is he planning to sell holy marinara sauce?
"The bottles of plain purified water carry a label that warns sinners who drink the water that they may experience burning, intense heat, sweating and skin irritations."
Vampires beware! We're putting this stuff in the blood bank.
The bottles of plain purified water carry a label that warns sinners who drink the water that they may experience burning, intense heat, sweating and skin irritations.
Old tricks never die:
Good men and women, one thing warn I you .
If any person be in this church now
That hath done sin [so] horrible, that he
Dare not, for shame of it, shriven be;
Or any woman, be she young or old,
That hath made her husband cuckold,
Such folk shall have no power nor no grace
To offer to my relics in this place.
(Pardoner's Prologue, Canterbury Tales, c. 1380-90)
Needless to say, anyone who refused would appear to be a sinner afraid to touch the relics.
Their site reads like it was written by someone who spoke almost no English. Holy Drinking Water is blessed into holy water by hands of god. By hands of god, we mean priest, churchman, clergyman, cleric, curate, divine, ecclesiastic, elder, father, friar, holy man, lama, monk, padre, pontiff, preacher, rabbi, rector, sky pilot, or vicar.
I call BS. I want to know the names and dioceses of the priests who are allegedly blessing this stuff, and then I want their bishops told about it. I suspect they don't actually exist.
Oh, look, a huckster...
Oh, look, naive lemmings...
"P.T. Barnum said it so long ago, there's one born every minute, don't you know..."
(Though every source I can find suggests that somebody else said it instead. But either way, it works.)
He turned out to be completely wrong about June 6. Doesn't this say something about how stupid his idea is in the first place?
Although, if he does make money from it, good on him for scamming lots of stupid people. If he doesn't then somebody else will anyway.
Community support throughout the United States has been overwhelming! In just four weeks, the news of Holy Drinking Water has made it to New York, Rhode Island, Texas, Oregon, Canada, Norway, Australia, Belgium, Netherlands, Singapore, Argentina, Namibia, Morocco, and Israel. A lot of places must have entered the Union as states on the day when my newspaper wasn't delivered.
Holy crap. Stockton?! That's where I live!!
Come to think of it, I believe there was something about this in the local paper a couple days ago, but I was just skimming and didn't read what it was about... I had no idea it was this!
~Jerod T.
The bottles of plain purified water carry a label that warns sinners who drink the water that they may experience burning, intense heat, sweating and skin irritations.
That's probably because Brian is bottling this stuff in his bathtub.
"The bottles of plain purified water carry a label that warns sinners who drink the water that they may experience burning, intense heat, sweating and skin irritations."
By 'blessed,' does he mean 'laced with meth'?
Seriously though, I'm considering buying some of this water and contacting the manufacturer, claiming to be a gay atheist libertarian who finds his product cool and refreshing. That should bring production to a screeching halt.
dont worry
i lol'd too
hard
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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