I have always been happy that my boys enjoy Legos, what a great toy, and never thought to even investigate any new item that they put out, we even ended up on the mailing list and now receive numerous catalogs.
One day I noticed them role playing with their beloved "bionicles" which I thought to be harmless robots, and heard them saying things that sounded just like they were playing with Pokemon (or close enough.) I immediately asked them (while my skin was crawling) where they were getting all those wild ideas from. "It's right here in the book, Mom!" Come to find out, these Bionicles have quite a story to tell, all spelled out in the Lego magazine in a comic strip format, which my boys had been devouring for weeks.
I was upset to find that I was so careless, I not only let that junk into my home, but encouraged it without even checking it out.
The story speaks of "..The Great Spirit Mata Nui descended from the skies like a burning star." "He walked the world and marveled at its beauty and watched over all living things." But he was followed by "..his brother, The Dark Spirit Makuta. Makuta coveted this world and all that his brother had." The "Dark Spirit" cast a spell that made "Mata Nui" fall asleep, now this world (sometimes referred to as an island) is in "Darkness" and in need of rescue. That is where the Bionicles come in, the have been sent by the "Great Beings" to save the world. And of course, these "mighty heroes" are to be equipped with "six Kanohi Masks of Power." "Each mask grants the wearer new power and wisdom."
The "Great Mask" list:
Miru - The great Mask of Levitation (to float and glide on air)
Hau - The Great Mask of Shielding
Kakama - The Great Mask of Speed
Kaukau - The Great Mask of Water (to breath under water)
Pakari - The Great Mask of Strength
Akaku - The Great Mask of X-Ray Vision
Sound familiar?
More masks are being added to this story, and I have not had enough time to research any further. Just annoyed that I didn't see it coming. My boys could make better use of their time.
What really gets me is that these "Bionicles" do not even require much effort to assemble - Lego is promoting new age role playing along with "dumbing down" what used to be an educational toy! (Now they also have a Harry Potter line!)
Warning to Parents: Do not rely on the past reputation of any toy company, check them out!
93 comments
Those buckle-hatted knuckleheads out from Plymouth back then didn't allow their lambs any toys either. By some accounts though, the kids had beer, so it might not have been that bad.
These modern Calvinists won't allow nuttin'!
Robin, are you giving birth to cows again?
Well, I have to say that Legos use to be lot better in Good Old Days ().
Now everything has its own special parts...
I used to love those technics (or what they were/are) but now they are almost fanished...
mmm... not sure if i disagree with her, modern toylines are bullshit.
Then again roleplaying is nothing bad for childs so long as the child is not well... fucked up by say... the story of a born of a virgin jewish cosmic zombie that will come back to raise an army of zombies to make sure that everyone is saved from the metaphisical evil that we have in ourselves thanks to a rib-woman accepting a fruit from a talking snake....
....
I take it back, bionicles story doesn't sound like bullshit that much.....
A slight tangent, but this is actually the most informative thing I've ever seen on Bionicles. I remember seeing the ads and just being mystified. They were some short 30-second CGI productions with lots of shadow, fog and backlighting. There was a hint of what might be a story, ending with a deep "BIONICLE!"
It was years before I learned they're toys you assemble.
Fundie: "You sinning children will no longer play with teh demonik Legos! Sin! Sin! Repent! Sin! Repent! You want the baby jebus to love you, don't you? Well he won't, if you keep using your imaginations to learn and entertain yourselves!
Emotionally bankrupt child: "But mommy dearest, bride of teh christ, whatever shall we use to occupy our developing, eager young minds?"
Fundie: "Play with this stick. It is made of wood. The staff of Moses was also made of wood."
Neighbor: "Hey fundie! Why are you letting your progeny play with that phallic symbol?"
@tiikki
I agree that past legos were better, I still remember the classic "Pirates, Castle, etc" where you had to make up your OWN story. Now they just steal whatever is the flavor of the week and make a series on it.
Bull. When I was a kid I watched Xena Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, I even watched celebrity death match! Chyna was my idol. And for my 9th birthday my father bought me a Lara Croft action figure complete with machine gun and yet I turned out to be a perfectly sane person.
It's called a childhood. Let your kids have one.
Not paying attention much? The whole Bionicles/ Mask of Power is proudly displayed on the damn bottle/can thing they come in.
Hmm, I wonder which is worse, a lead filled toy from china or a "gasp" questionable storyline?
Nevermind... I've been here too long, I know, wall candy for everyone.
....... um.... they're toys.... Not products of teh devil! Oh noes! mine kidz will grows up to be gays and believe in magik robotz!!!
Man, when you're kids develop individual ideas, they're going to hate you sooooo much!
Ah but you have left out the most important part of the story. "Receiving a cry for help from Earth about an evil old bitch killing fun, the bionicles took off, found the old hag and hacked the fucking unimaginative bitch to bits. The end." I just love happy endings.
Okay, these Kjos guys are really starting to scare the shit out of me. Their constant psychotic paranoia about satan-worship in children's toys is starting to make the Raptards look sane. At least we've never seen RR spouting crap about the evil in Winnie the Pooh, like we have with these guys.
This is the problem with fundamentalists, they become unable to tell the difference between fiction and religion. Hence the morbid fear of Harry Potter, lego, etc. They seem to treat every work of fiction as a rival (and thus evil) religion. I guess its understandable, fiction and religion are so very similar after all.
"Lego is promoting new age role playing along with "dumbing down" what used to be an educational toy."
[back slowly away from your irony meters]
Seriously [who me], I was a child BEFORE Legos. Never owned a one. My nephews had some.
I had Lincoln Logs. They were wood. Hard, stiff, brown wood that you built cabins with. Well, that's what I did. Oh, I would say they were eight to twelve inches long.
I also had an old Erector Set.
Mm-hm. The bible, of course, is never violent, bloody, evil, superstitious and stupid.
Ah, the sweet memories of my childhood when I was trying to collect all the Bionicle -characters. The stories, the comicstrips, the web-browser games, man, Bionicle was awesome when I was a kid. This fundie quote actually gave me a happy feeling. :)
Why exactly do the mask names sound familiar?
Honestly. Give a fundamentalist something which even has a hint of fictional backstory or even a tiny hint of something which isn't christianity and they curl up into a little ball shouting "AAAAAAAAAA DEMONIC SATANIC NASTY STUFF!!!!!!!"
This sort of Fundie is so closed minded, they could learn liberal thinking from the Islamic vice and virtue police.
Christian interpretation: Muta Nui is Jesus, Mukuta is Satan, the Toa are angels sent to fight Mukuta.
Bionicle is a classic light versus dark theme that goes over in so many different stories, even Christianity. Just because the names for things is different doesn't make it Satanic. Fuck.
Hey, don't diss Lincoln Logs! Joseph was a carpenter, after all. Growing up poor, all Jesus had to play with was his wood! (ETA: Jesus's, that is, not Joseph's. No incestuous and/or pedophilic double entendres "entendred".)
I grew up in a family like yours. My mother said smurfs were demonic. The logo on the shampoo bottle was demonic. There was a secret society of devil-worshipping teachers in every school. Any rock song sung by a man wearing black leather pants had to be demonic. Any record album our church ladies said could be played backwards with satanic messages was to be avoided at all costs.
My aunt had Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell album, and my mother freaked out when she saw me looking at the jacket. She screamed that it was demonic, and dangerous for my aunt to have in her home. I was scared to death. I was sure the demons would find me, now that I'd looked at that record cover. I'd close my eyes and still see it, and I tried to get it out of my head, but my brain was "polluted by the devil".
It was many years later that I found out Bat Out Of Hell was just a bunch of love songs.
And that my mother is crazy.
My brother and I loved bionicles. (ok, i'm 17. so?)
Honestly, it's not gonna posses you and make you eat babies. They're ACTION FIGURES.
1. Robots are NEVER harmless.
2. I think that just by typing all of that means you are going to hell.
3. You are a stupid cunt.
I wonder if Robin has ever played any of the Crash Bandicoot games, with the Aku-Aku mask.
(Though I always called it a "Hoonamaga!", since that was the sound the game made when you got one.)
PROTIP: Bionicle is a toy line created by Lego, using characterisation & storylines inspired by Polynesian mythology.
Would you protest if Lego created a Biblically-inspired range, using Scripture-based scenarios? (check one):
[ ] If you did, you'd be stifling the spiritual growth of children wanting to roleplay the good works of Jesus, thus not being a True Christian. Therefore you'd go to Hell.
[ ] If you didn't, you'd expose yourself as a hypocrite; condemning the company for being unChristian with Bionicle, but not when they released Jesusicle? Jesus hates hypocrites, and therefore you'd go to Hell.
Choose wisely.
"What really gets me is that these "Bionicles" do not even require much effort to assemble - Lego is promoting new age role playing along with "dumbing down" what used to be an educational toy! (Now they also have a Harry Potter line!)"
That's nothing...:
image
'Chevron Seven locked in place...'
http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2006/10/stargate_lego.html
And 'Lego' comes from the Danish phrase 'Play Well'. The above just goes to prove how a mere construction toy can really expand the imagination.
Oh no, a toy company takes it for granted that kids can handle imagination and make-belief! Teh HORROR!!!
I actually do concur that much of the new stuff is too easy to assemble. Back in my day it was just the sqare pieces that you had to assemble to a design of your own.
I'd rather check how companies treat their employees, their policies about environment, safety, subcontractors, etc. Most sci/fi and fantasy stuff are focused on Good vs Evil fights; nothing special about this one...
The one thing I found worse than the BIONICLE series, which I found to lack any degree of versatility, were the abhorrent Belville and Clikits series. Supposedly aimed at creation and role-play (the former), but failing to meet their task aptly. I ended up actually becoming a LEGO fundamentalist, insisting only on generic blocks. That got me relatively far until curved things and electronics came in.
@Anon-e-moose :
"PROTIP: Bionicle is a toy line created by Lego, using characterisation & storylines inspired by Polynesian mythology. "
Thanks for this, I actually never knew! Was going to think some of the characters had names borrowed from the Malay language though.
Addendum due to a VERY massive overflow of nostalgia spanning 1.5 generations:
"Lego is promoting new age role playing along with "dumbing down" what used to be an educational toy! (Now they also have a Harry Potter line!) "
And to say this of the company who tells its clientèle to 'just imagine'.
I was going to think that most lines of LEGO rely on role-play to a certain degree you created narratives and scenes with the blocks (Don't ask me, I've become mostly a modeller since 10) taken up to 11 with the early 2000s Creator series (certain variants which later fell into obsolescence) and now again with the Friends series which I only heard of due to a bunch of YouTube ads. I'm not even surprised that OP started with this (minus the mythos).
Also, the 'dumbing down' is sadly on the parts of everyone except AFoL's* who get all, and I mean quite literally all those complicated sets with multiple capacities (everything from carousels to replica hotels) while the majority children get almost ready-made products (and ready-made vehicles NO LESS) as a sorry replacement for Playmobil.
(and then I got a guitar
)
* Adult fans of Lego
@Anon-e-moose :
The earlier basic blocks had near-infinite potential to them. No way in hell would you do that with the contents of 50 BIONICLE (read: dumbed-down Technics with mostly specialised parts) canisters.
I just checked the site, it's more than enough WTFery for the day. The jaw of one of my friends (a progressive Christian) dropped on reading it.
@KZNO2:
Good grief, I must be really out of touch with the series! The build of that thing is fairly complex (this compared to my childhood sets and some of my less recent dioramas made through high school).
On hindsight, I should have made myself slightly clearer: these are some of the inevitable products of the 'dumbing down':
http://timeopinions.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/legos.jpg?w=480&h=320&crop=1 (the background more than anything, it looks ready-made. Would reuse the roof in a subsequent build*)
http://www.fasnyfiremuseum.com/assets/store/Products/25244-lego_duplo_fire_chief__25244.jpg (crossing the line twice, what with the marketing of this as a standalone!)
In both cases, I'd suppose it's still due to the play value over the build value (fairly short in case 1, 0 in case 2)
*This line is relatively new. I mourn the loss of the beloved Minifigure, but judging by the more realistic architecture, I do expect the parts to be reused fairly frequently when the kids outgrow the series' canon! Which is awesome once hindsight kicks in.
First, Robin, it's BIONICLE not bionicles. It's always singular never plural. In fact the name is short for Bio logical Chronicle
Come friends and listen to the tale of the BIONICLE.
The story starts 100,000 years ago when the planet of Spherus Magna is separated into the pieces in a event called The Shattering. The Great Beings created the Great Spirit, Mata Nui and placed him in a colossal robotic body in hopes to protect the Matoran universe held within him and to restore Spherus Magna.
1,000 years ago Makuta Teridax used a virus to place Mata Nui into a coma where he crash landed in Aqua Magna, a fragment of Spherus Magna. This event, the Great Cataclysm, severely disputed the Matoran universe as whole.
The Toa Nuva succeeded in awakening Mata Nui, who at this point was dying six months ago. But Teridax knew they would succeed so he hijacked the robot body then sealed the Great Spirit in the Kanohi Ignika, the mask of life, and exiled him into space.
Mata Nui crashed into Bara Magna, the largest fragment of Spherus Magna. It is there where Mata Nui learns of his origins and his destiny.
I skipped through huge parts of the story to save time and space. The reason I still love BIONICLE is because of its well written and in depth story. BIONICLE is the first fandom which I wrote fanficton about.
BIONICLEsector01 is a very accurate wiki that goes well into detail.
http://biosector01.com/wiki/index.php/Main_Page
@KZN02
Ahh yes, old Skopio XV-1 I remember that. I got it for my Birthday, and it took hours and hours to build (not because of any lack of skill on my part, mind you; I have built in Lego all my life). I was going to bring that, or maybe the air speeders from 2008, up to make a point about the complexity, but you've done it nicely.
Robin, sweetie, if Lego is promoting such "dumbed down" products, tell me, why are there massive sets based off of Lord of the Rings (another awesome universe I'm sure you despise) with over 2,000 pieces? Sure, there are the simplistic sets too, because not every 6-year-old kid who sees a Star Wars toy has the skill to build a 600-piece Starship; they need something simpler to start them off.
As an AFoL, I can decisively say that Lego has helped me become a thoughtful and creative individual, a thousand times more inquisitive and resourceful than your poor kids if you keep strangling their childhood. For instance, remember that Skopio I mentioned? I eventually re-purposed it, along with most other sets I've collected over the years; it's tank-tracks work very nicely on my MoC of a Land Raider from 40k. And ohhh boy Robin, if you dislike Bionicle, you're going to shit yourself if your kids ever discover Warhammer.
Got lost in the comments and a massive wave of nostalgia. (I miss my old Lego Space sets, back when it was Space Police v. Blacktron. I used to have the big Blacktron ship. Still have a big pirate ship somewhere, though it needs reassembly after several disastrous moves...)
OK, while I miss my erector sets and the cool technic stuff (always wanted that really detailed formula one car), and I wish I had some of the stuff with the computer and sensors (Lego ROBOTS!!!!), I'd hardly say BIONICLE is dummed down. A bit overpriced, but not dumbed down (anyone remember the little sets for under $5).
It is good to keep track of what your kids are interested in. But getting paranoid about it? Unless they start having bricks of meth in the sets (necessary for the 3000+ piece complex technic jobs!), you're worried over nothing. Let kids be kids!
Yep, definitely can't have kids using their imaginations, building, or just having fun. They could end up like Makuta!
image
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.