I believe the reason America is not in prophecy is because the rapture will bring this country to it's knees. Only thing, it will not be a great number of people being raptured but enough to cause it's downfall. What I envision is nuclear bombs being launched on America and moments before impact we are out of here and no chance for anyone here to get a second chance because here in America we had it easier accepting Jesus as our Savior. Today is the day of salvation not tomorrow.
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No, today I'm expanding my XP game partition, shrinking the external NTFS to make room for Ubuntu Server on my desktop, and repairing the Kubuntu installation on my laptop's internal.
No Rapture plans for today.
Strange, ain't it, how there is not one biblical prophecy concerning any thing that wasn't known at the time it was written? If God Almighty had just inspired one of his scribes to slip in something about the discovery of new lands in the future (or something like that), it would have made it harder to dismiss the bible as a book of ancient fairy tales.
Yes Fek'lhr, from your mouth to, well, no one's ears in particular.
But I'd be willing to bring the paper cups.
"I believe the reason America is not in prophecy is because the rapture will bring this country to it's knees."
Or because, you know, the ignorant primitives who wrote the "prophecy" didn't know the fucking Americas existed.
"Only thing, it will not be a great number of people being raptured but enough to cause it's downfall."
Zero is not enough to cause it's downfall. More people die every day across the country than will ever be "raptured."
"What I envision is nuclear bombs being launched on America and moments before impact we are out of here and no chance for anyone here to get a second chance because here in America we had it easier accepting Jesus as our Savior."
What kind of a fucking idiot would try to fly a nuclear bomb over the U.S.? Wouldn't an ICBM be a better strategy?
"Today is the day of salvation not tomorrow."
Yeah, yeah.
"I believe the reason America is not in prophecy is because the rapture will bring this country to it's knees." How the hell do you know America isn't in the prophecy?
Quick, point me to where "Gog" and "Magog" are on a map....
What I envision is nuclear bombs being launched on America and moments before impact we are out of here
Fundies think the Rapture will allow them to escape disaster with such dubious timing. I've heard stories of Pentecostal women sobbing right after The Twin Towers attack, distraught that Jesus didn't rapture them right up.
If there was a nuclear war why would God rescue you? Wouldn't you be headed for Heaven anyway?
And nuclear missiles don't impact their target.
And anyone stupid enough to attempt a nuclear attack on the US probably won't have enough support to gain money for missiles; they'd be using crude bullet devices. Any country which launched missiles at the US would be obliterated.
New definition of "hilarity."
Jezuz getting a phone call right before he's supposed to rapture the morons, becoming distracted and fucking up everything for them.
This has got to be a joke... seriously, do people actually spend their time worrying why America is not mentioned in biblical prophecy? That's like worrying about why toasters aren't mentioned on the walls of the Pharohs' tombs, or why the latest DFS sale isn't advertised on the back of ancient manuscripts of Homer's Odyssey!
Mad, the whole bunch...
If God raptured all the fundies, how would that hurt anyone, let alone bring a country to its knees? Don't worry, we'll learn to make our own french fries quickly enough after you're gone.
“I believe the reason America is not in prophecy is because the rapture will bring this country to it's knees.”
“Only thing, it will not be a great number of people being raptured but enough to cause it's downfall.”
“What I envision is nuclear bombs being launched on America and moments before impact we are out of here and no chance for anyone here to get a second chance because here in America we had it easier accepting Jesus as our Savior.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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