Texas is calling.
All Christians come home to God, mom, and apple pie. We Texans will fight for God and Jesus. We'll fight for you too. There are over 30 million of us. Come home Christians to God's country. Come home to Texas!
Atheists, Communists or Muslims? Screw you. You are of no consequence here in Texas. Me and 30 million more Texans carry just in case of you godless *** get out of line. ***
Come on home Christians!
48 comments
And killing those that are different than you ISN'T "*** getting out of line ***"? So much for your precious "10 commandments" and the book you claim to get your "morality" from. What does it say? "Thou shalt not kill UNLESS you don't like them? Thou shalt not kill UNLESS they're different than you?"
Fuck you and your religious beliefs. If your religious beliefs inspire you to commit homicide in the name of your "god", isnt that a bit psychopathic?
Feel the love of your old testament god, killing just about everyone, and just about everything. Your god likes killing. By the way, have you ever worked on Sunday? Ever cursed your father or mother?
1 Samuel 15:3 Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.
@Goomy pls:
Three guesses...
The home of Christians is in Texas? Is that something you read in the Bible, or are you LDS?
That's the joy of the internet; in times gone by, you'd have to leave your home and head to town before you'd find someone ranting in what appeared to be a drunken stupor. Now you have that in the comfort of your own home.
@Doubting_Thomas
Would you and everyone else stop asking if Texas would secede? Some of us are trapped here due to circumstances beyond our control. The U.S. Constitution and fear of the Federal government are about the only things keeping the OP and his ilk from setting up a true theocracy. Plus, the U.S. doesn't need a heavily armed rogue state next door with a longer border than Mexico's.
And seriously? It's not just Texas.
Fuck you and your self-righteous religion. What says YOUR magic sky-pixie is the correct one, anyways? Who decides that you're a member of the chosen race? Oh, wait, YOU do..
Oh, please, please, please, please. Then let Texas secede.
Yes, please. All fundies move to Texas. Then secede. Then kick out all of the non-fundies. Then build a giant wall around yourselves (you know, to keep out all those dirty atheists, communists, and Muslims). Actually, you might as well build a giant ceiling, too. Don't want any liberals scaling the walls to get into your utopia. Meanwhile, the rest of the US finally gets to get shit done.
@fmitchell
No worries, it'll never actually happen. Especially since Texas is getting bluer every election. In the very unlikely event it DOES happen, I'll personally set up a fund to get people like you out of there and donate a year's salary toward it.
Actually, I had an even better idea. Move out of the US and build an ultraconservative, underwater (so the liberals, Muslims, and atheists can't get there) city in the middle of the Atlantic. You can call it something super Christian, like Rapture.
YES!!! Please go! Now! That way, all we have to do is most that border north and you folks can enjoy living in the third world.
Texas Vital Stats
* A $27 billion dollar budget deficit
Have fun!
@fmitchell:
OK then, maybe we can set up an Austin Free Zone or something. Or Federal assistance to move all non-right wing Christian fundamentalists out.
@Xotan:
That was what that liberal hippie Jesus said, not Republican Jesus the fundamentalists worship.
@fmitchell
I hope you have the fortune to live in one of the cities. I had my fill of small East Texas towns.
"We Texans will fight for God and Jesus"
Allah is the real god so you will lose. Infidels, communists and atheists, screw you.
"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" are of no consequence to anybody you don't approve of?
Fuck you.
Oh, and the Atheist Community of Austin would like a word. Let me guess...they aren't "true" Texans, am I right?
So, the other 285 million will be rid of the raving fundies, then? Great! As long as you go somewhere where there are no other people than you, that is.
Just so you know. The Apple was introduced to America from Europe, in slow regional steps, and Pies definately precede the discovery of America by centuries.
So "as American as Apple pie" is one of the earliest American Exeptionalism stunts on record. Stop trying to claim stuff you never came close to originating.
Hey Texas, Cattle Barons, Railroad thugs and cattle rustlers (often as they drove cattle to market they stole other, smaller farmers livestock along the way. That's your actual history, theft and mob rule over the regular folk, the little guy who's legal livelyhood and property was taken by the lawless west rules of mob wins, and that's after the natives were ran off by the big ranches.
Your Western movies portray it yet you still worship the thousand acre inheritors.
OK, we'll send you all the Fundies in the country. We'll take Austin in exchange. Then we'll launch the entire state of Texas into space and you can all get closer to your imaginary friend. Everyone is happy.
"Atheists, Communists or Muslims? Screw you. You are of no consequence here in Texas."
Of no consequence? Funny since you seem to be utterly terrified of all of them.
Then watch as Texas gets right up there with North Korea with regards to human rights abuses. Seriously, I know we all like to tell Texas to secede already but the sad truth is federal law is the only thing protecting sane Texans from their batshit psychopath neighbors. I'd feel a great swell of pity for the poor people trapped in Texas if it ever became its own country.
Yet more proof that TX is indeed the worst state in the union; even more so than Mississippi. I guess they wanted that crown so bad that they were willing to fuck things up so badly. Everything really is bigger in TX, especially the bullshit.
My state ain't exactly known for many good things-especially when you consider the recently exposed vindictiveness of our corpulent governor (whom I did not vote for), but at least we don't have a reputation of being completely insane. Greedy & polluted-which is no small task when compared to TX pollution levels!
And by the way, Scott, my state pays out the most of all the federal taxes; or at least we did at one point. We probably still do. So, screw you. You are of no consequence to the rest of the nation.
"Atheists, Communists or Muslims? Screw you. You are of no consequence here in Texas. Me and 30 million more Texans carry just in case of you godless *** get out of line. *** "
Nothing says love like openly threatening people. Also gets out of line? What like saying they don't agree with you or are ok with not being Christian?
Screw you. You are of no consequence here in Texas. Me and 30 million more Texans carry just in case of you godless *** get out of line. ***
Way to make Jesus proud, Scott.
Hi! I'm an atheist who taught some of the children of Texas to better communicate as a speech-language pathologist in a Texas school. No consequence there though, right? Now I'm teaching kids in Iowa. Eat your heart out, Steve King.
I'm assuming this is some Texan independence schlock again? Alright, let's try this out. I'll give you that thirty million number, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Thirty million citizens, some of which may be armed but almost none of which are fully trained for all out war. Not everybody will join, and recent looks into the subject say it's a negligible minority. Does one third sound good? Again, benefit of the doubt.
Let's take a look at the United States Armed Forces. The USA army has 1.5 million active personnel at the moment, but you can expect to see that rise a few million at the least once Texas tries to pull its shit. Let's go for 5 million if there's a draft.
5 million fully armed, trained and supplied soldiers vs 10 million partially armed militia with little to no training who'll run into supply shortages in a week. Superior numbers won't mean shit.
This isn't a war you're shooting for, it's a slaughter.
@Rockle
It's also a bluff, a stunt that at best would revive the Tea-Party movement. Those pushing it have no belief it's a possibility but the rubes eat up this boistering of their capabilities.
"Well, that's a respectful crowd of idiots out there now, Sarah, stoke some fear of very unlikely events in your homesy country girl you betcha way, we lost about a hundred to Victorias caterwallin'. Why do our entertainers suck so bad? Could we get Nugent to play over her next time? Why do our guitars heroes suck so bad too? That reminds me, there's a guy with a we suck sign, gotta get rid of him"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
