I got a problem with our children being taught by authority figures that it's okay to masterbate because they claim it's better than them fornicating. I nearly don't doubt that it's a conspiracy against our children to get them to sleep around. Prisoners and mental institution patients are forbidden to masterbate. If they're caught, they face punishment. It's that serious. Why is that? Think about it. Because it turns them into a sexual threat.
When you stimulate yourself, the endorphines in your brain are released and cause you to crave sex more and more. The more you masterbate, the more sex you want. It's like doing drugs. When you don't masterbate, the less you think about it.
33 comments
The more you masterbate, the more sex you want.
So what does the fact that you seem obsessed about posting about sex say about what you do in your spare time?
Prisoners and mental institution patients are forbidden to masterbate. If they're caught, they face punishment. It's that serious. Why is that? Think about it. Because it turns them into a sexual threat.
Glad that tech who caught me didn't know.
Oh, and lying for Jesus is still lying.
further down the thread:
I can agree that many schools teach abstinence only, mine did, and at the same time they taught sex education, which was thoroughly embarrassing.
If you were embarrassed by learning about the opposite sex's body and birth control that's YOUR problem.
Realistically, kids are not only forced to live sexed up, but then they are also pretty much restricted from getting married.
So, what color is the sky on your planet?
"When you don't masterbate, the less you think about it."
Uhh...no.
Just because endorphines are released, it doesn't mean you become addicted. Sex CAN become an addiction, but usually ISN'T. Listen to me, gardner: THE ENDORPHINES DON'T TELL YOU YOU WANT SEX BEFORE YOU DO IT. THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.
So, what else is involved? What made you want to masturbate in the first place? Your logic is as flawed as my Jesus is half-fish theory.
Actually, the fact of the matter is that the longer you go without dealing with it, the MORE you think about it.
You're referring to prisons and asylums from about a hundred years ago when they still thought that not masturbating was what caused hysteria, promiscuity, and asexuality in women (during which the doctor, following the diagnosis, would proceed to frig the woman until orgasm was reached) but that masturbating for males was using up a finite amount of semen and therefore terrible for a man's constitution. We have since learned otherwise. Welcome to the twenty first century.
True that, if you jerk off and blow all over the wared attendent or prison guard youwill get in trouble, I don't think ANY institution of that kind has a specific standing order relating to masturbation.
Wow, not a single thing in that quote is true, impressive.
My mother being someone who worked in a psychiatric ward, and a friend's father being a prison officer, I can confrim that masturbating is not banned in either places.
Personally, I blame the Victorians for all this prudishness.
When you don't masterbate, the less you think about it.
Are you even a human being? If so, how the hell can you not know how wrong this statement is? Haven't you heard of blue balls?
Lack of sexual satisfaction leads to higher sexual desire, not less. Sexual desire is hardwired into us, for bloody obvious evolutionary benefit - there's no way of shutting it down short of fundamental genetic modification. Admittedly certain psychoactive drugs and medicines, notably some common antidepressants, can slow the build up of such desires a bit, but they can't halt them. Fortunately for us, fundies are scared of most evolutionary, mental and genetic aspects of biological science (they tend to support conclusions about humanity that they really don't like), so they probably wont try anything as stupid as genetic modification or mass medication.
Masterbate, Misterbate, Mistressbate, Mrsbate, Missbate.
Doesn't anybody masturbate any more?
That mastUrbate, I mean!
Yeah! and when you are caught having a knuckle shuffle in prison they lock you up in a small cell, all on your own, with nothing to do because that'll stop you ?
Dicksplash, try a 23 hour lockdown with no library access and you'll end up shooting smoke like everybody else.
Prisoners and people in mental institutions are not forbidden to masturbate. Lie number one. Lie number two, following your logic, sex contributes to wanting more sex, which is false. Endorphines are just substances, chemicals that control the sensation of pleasure. It has nothing to do with addiction.
I'm confused. Schools teach children that masturbation is better than sleeping around to get them to sleep around...?
Am I missing something, here? Did gardner just actually say that?
"When you don't masterbate, the less you think about it."
Bullshit. It's the exact opposite. and I know this from firsthand experience. (And second hand, if necessary.)
any boy going through puberty and afterwards will want to wank about 10 times a day. He'll probably manage 5 times
PS if you're not getting IT regularly, wanking is a good way to keep the system clear of carcinogens
"When you don't masterbate, the less you think about it."
Funny, I have had the exact opposite experience. After three to four days, it's all I can think about
You...really don't know much do you? Masterbation relieves thinking about sex, and most teenagers male or female are going to do that. I can last a week at most and then I'm going a bit crazy.
@ Old Viking
While doing the lizard choking of course. They worship God by stroking the lizard.
"taught by authority figures that it's okay to masterbate"
Marcus Vindictus (Shecky Greene): 'Oh Nympho, I would do anything to gain your favour. How can I catch you? How can ensnare you? What bait must I use to catch your love? I am your servant!'
Empress Nympho (Madeline Kahn): 'Ah, but the servant waits, while the master baits! '
-"History of the World (Part I)" X3
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
