If you want a useful prayer to pray, here it is:
“God, help me to get over myself and fully submit to You. I hate what You’ve done to me, I’m scared of You, and I can’t even picture liking or trusting You. But regardless of how I feel, You’re God Almighty, so what the heck am I doing trying to fight You? This is a war that I cannot win, and I own that I was a fool to even try. Please help me come up with the soul attitudes that You want from me. Make my submission to You real this time, and not a game. I don’t want to keep going through this. Maybe my circumstances will remain lousy, but I want to be able to know that I am in a good place with You. I’m not telling You what to do—instead, help me get better at having You tell me. Help me to accept what You give me, and fully release what You take away. You’re God, I’m not. Help me to embrace my proper place as Your creature who depends on You for all things.”
22 comments
Blatant Poe. Anna has finally revealed herself.
Oh, and "I’m not telling You what to doinstead, help me get better at having You tell me" is telling God what to do. You're slipping up, Anna!
"If you want a useful prayer to pray, here it is: "
R'LYEH CTHULHU FTHAGN! IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!CTHULHU FTHAGN! PH'NGLUI MGLW'NFAH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN! IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN! PH'NGLUI MGLW'NFAH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN!
Uh, no, Anna, you said a "useful" prayer. All your prayers do is make you feel like a sniveling, cowering, sub-human. A "useful" prayer would be one that leaves the person who prays it better and stronger, and accomplishes whatever good result you pray for.
None exist. Now get off your knees and act like a real person instead.
I can't help but think this sounds more like a prayer from an abused child in an attempt to make the abuse from those parents stop . although I'm sure it would only appease them for a short time, then the rage comes back.
I still think that Anna's god is a child with a magnifying glass, and she is the ant.
The beatings will continue until morale improves?
This is also why I sometimes prickle my BDSM friends, when I explain that my personal opinion is that BDSM may be potentially unhealthy if done wrong, and the margin for error is very small.
Chaplain: Let us praise God. O Lord...
Are you sure that your "proper place" is blog spamming?
"Alleged powers that some claim exist, I so wish that you did that I am willing to blame you for all the ills of the world. It is impossible for me to fathom the lack of your existence, please keep on the suffering that I face everyday... If you didn't exist, how could I pretend to be rightier than everybody and claim to have a special relationship with you and to dictate to random people what I want of them, pretending to be you? How could I condemn medicine and force little girls to give birth despite the harmful consequences? How would I promote a dictatorship to deal with the people I don't understand and hate? How would I control what they do in bed? How could I tell women that they deserve and need rape for their wellbeing and redemption and that when it happens, you are acting through the rapist? How could I ever hope to finally be delivered of that suffering and all the persecution that I face because pagans exist? Contact me ASAP! Please, make the voices in my head return! Please, come destroy the world for me! Save me from the evil world that you created, save meeeee! Or at least make me one of your minions who tortures people in hell! Alternatively, take me to your hell dungeons and take me, who was designed for your domination, my real purpose!"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
