unknown #fundie

unknown #fundie democraticunderground.com

Text reads:
AMERICA REPENT
Demoncrats, Drunks,
Rock & Rollers, Adulteresses,
Potheads, Homosexuals,
Lesbians, Masons, Shriners,
Mormons, Muslims, Jews,
Hindus, Buddhist, Evolutionist,
Catholics, Satanist,
Abortionist,
Seventh Day Adventist,
Jehovah's Witnesses,
Liberals, Fornicators,
Prosperity Preachers,
Atheist, Rich People
and Worldly Luke Warm
Once Saved-Always Saved
Christians are in Danger of:
HELL'S FIRE

102 comments

old comment by Zipperback

"I get 8 (if you;'re broad with the definitions). Also: Shriners? WTF? What did they do? "
Read the Bible you godless bastard! Deuteronomy 14:3-8 "You shall not drive any abominable car, these are the models you may drive: the coup, the sedan, the light truck, the van, the minivan, the convertible, the sportscar, the compact, the subcompact. Any car car that has wheels you may drive, provided it has four wheels and runs on unleaded. But you should not drive any ofthe following that only have four wheels or only use unleaded: The vespa, the golf cart, the morotcycycle, the go kart or tiny parade car which indeed has four wheels but is runs on methanol and is therefore unclean for you..."

old comment by WillNeverRepent

Let's see...
Democrat - I suppose. I am not blessed with an American citizenship yet, but I will be by the midterm elections. Which would make me one. Counts as half for now. Drunk - well, of course. Rock&Roller? - Bring it on, bitch! Adulteress - why did the idiot have to be gender-specific?... Pothead - still in college, so yes. Homosexual - Bi. Half a point for me there. Lesbians - enjoy watching, have to admit. Mason - I know the secret handshake. Shriner - wtf? Mormon - God forbid. Muslim - Nope. But they're infinitely more logical than the author of this poster. Jew - I am eligible for Israeli citizenship, in theory. In theory, I would have also been eligible for 1/3rd of a bunk in Belzec. So yes. Hindu - unfortunately not. Buddhist - unfortunately not. Evolutionist - very much so. Catholic - no. However, I was baptized in a Russian Orthodox Church, which, despite the name, even the Catholics considered too liberal (crusades, man). I claim another point. Satanist - nah. Abortionist - pro-choice, so yes. SDA, JW - no. Liberal - by this guy's count, everyone to the left of Strom Thurmond is a liberal. Yes. Fornicator - with pleasure. Atheist - in practice. So... bull's eye! I got a 10! Ah, I can't wait to get to Haides...

old comment by Blue March

Drunk - Well, occassionally
Rock & Roller - Hell yeah! Pothead - Wouldn't mind trying Hindu - I'm not one but I take many of their philosophies Buddhist - I'm not one but I take many of their philosophies Evolutionist - I guess believing in evolution makes me one...even though it's not a religion like that term implies Abortionist - I'm pro-Choice, I guess that makes me one Liberals - Well, I'm an anarcho-communist, is that close enough? Fornicators - Not yet but I don't see anything wrong with it Atheist - Not technically but I'm not a theist either, not an theist and not an atheist, I'm a non-theist Rich People - I'm middle class, does that count?

old comment by Brian X

Demoncrat? Reluctantly (don't like the leadership).
Drunk, no. Rock and roller, I suppose so. Adulteress? No, not female, never married. Pothead? No, but I support legalization. Homosexual? I have a bi streak, but I'm not into guys really. Lesbian? Nope. Mason? Nope. Masons are silly overgrown kids. Shriner? No, but despite being silly overgrown kids they do good work. Mormon? No, but grew up in a town full of them. Belmont, MA is like Salt Lace City East. Muslim? No. Jew? No, but a bit of a wannabe. Hindu? No. Buddhist? No. Evolutionist? Yes. Catholic? Gave it up for Lent. Well, Advent, actually. Satanist? No. Satanism starts off well but descends into egomania. Abortionist? No, and only grudgingly pro-choice. SDA? No. Silly people. JayDub? No. They manage to make religion even less fun and more dull than it is already. Liberal: Hell yeah, though I surprise people occasionally by being unpredictably libertarian about some things. Fornicator: Don't I wish. Prosperity preacher: No. But at least they're upfront about the scam. But people believe it anyway. Atheist: Not quite, but damn close. Rich person: Yeah, right. WLWOSASC: Who cares?

old comment by The Duelist

Aww, you mentioned us Buddhists; how sweet.
Now go cleanse yourself of delusion.

[EDIT} Oh yeah, I almost forgot to do this...

Rock-and-Roller: Yep. Iron Maiden, the Beatles, Steppenwolf, Creed, the Allman Brothers Band, CCR, the 'Stones(naturally), the Doors, and of course, AC/DC(and many more than you could even count).

Evolutionist: Obviously. Only a liar, a moron, or someone in a Sky Daddy religion could possibly be stupid enough to deny all the evidence.

Abortionist: Only if it's the only option for the mother.

Hmm...? Only three...?
Damn... maybe I'm forgetting something...

[EDIT] Oh right, Buddhist makes four. Ugh, it's been a slow day...

unknown #fundie democraticunderground.com

102 comments

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