Demons are scary. Maybe when you first met yours, they put on their friendly act in order to lure you in. But at some point, they started showing their nasty side and now you’re in serious torment. Maybe demons are attacking your body. Maybe they’re attacking your mind. Maybe they’re attacking your surroundings. Whatever their methodology is, we can teach you how to deal with these persistent pests in a way that will help your soul.

When it comes to addressing persistent demon problems (PDPs), the Church can be counted on to point you in the wrong direction. Instead of teaching you how to grow through the experience, she teaches you to view the whole thing like a power struggle between God and angelic beings. The Church encourages you to be afraid, and then to imitate dark magic techniques by casting spells, wielding the power of magic charms, and calling upon powerful, more experienced sorcerers to come cast spells on your behalf. Don’t believe it? That’s because you’ve been blinded by the way the Church has dolled up her forms of sorcery. Rebuking in Jesus’ Name and shouting out Bible verses—that’s just basic spell casting. Holding up the Bibles and the crosses while you fling around the holy water—that’s just playing with magic charms. Calling the priest to come perform an exorcism ritual—that’s just networking among sorcerers. Fasting—that’s just you trying to coerce God into doing what you want. All of these theatrics are based on the same flawed assumptions that what’s happening to you isn’t supposed to be happening to you. In other words, God has dropped the ball. You simply can’t justify going through a bunch of hoopla in order to get God’s attention unless you first accept the lie that God isn’t already in control of the situation.

Thanks to the Church’s idiocy and the human lust for power, most Christians have bought into the theory that their God is some impotent ninny who has had His own creation run amuck on Him. He’s now up in Heaven feeling totally overwhelmed by the chaos that is currently happening in this world of ours, which is why it is so critical that we constantly bombard Him with instructions on how to run His own universe. “Do this. Stop that. Fix him. Save her.” How can we sincerely admire a Being who is so stupid that He takes our shortsighted foolishness for wisdom? What kind of weird trip are Christians on when they stand around singing about how God is in control when they don’t really think He’s in control at all?